Infantreflux.org | Need advice

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October 4, 2006 at 9:26 pm #14961

Anonymous
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I know that you all are busy, but I was wondering if you could help me by telling me what you think about this:

I have not been myself lately. Things have been REALLY rough at school. I hate to say this, but this is the 1st time in my career that everyday when I wake up in the morning hating going to work. My anxiety attacks have gotten worse I am feeling really depressed these days that I can not even talk without crying. The principal is so DAMN moody that everything that I ever say he turns my idea to a bad one….even though they are good. I really feel like he is trying to get rid of me……..tell me what you think……here are the 2 scenarios that have bothered me:

1. He came into our 7th grade team meeting and stated that there was a workshop about Alternative Assessment for the Special Education kids coming up. He said,”Steve (who is the other 7th grade Special Education Teacher), I thought that you would be good for this. So I want you to go.” Without even acknowledging that I was in the room and possibly wanting to go too. After the meeting I went in and said, “I know that you would like Steve to go to the meeting, but I am from the old school of teaching and we did not have any classes dealing with Alternative Assessment. So I would like to go too.” He then said have cocky, “Well, you can go.” Now why do I have to say that I want to go?

2. Then the 2nd one was that I and one of the SPED aides were talking about the students that are really low. We thought that maybe we should do something else than paper and pencil work. We wanted to start a unit on checkbooking and money. What I would do is have a few job postings that are jobs around the school and it would only be 1/2 a week and they would only go 2 days. We would use these skills to help them in real life situations. Then I would give them a paycheck in which they would have to deposit into their pretend checking account. We thought it was a great idea, but when I wrote the letter to the parents and emailed it to the principal to look at it and get his approval. He just said that he was worried about how much time they would be out of the classroom…..and of course I can not even explain what my intentions are to him because there are some issues going on with the 8th grade team (teachers). All he does is scowls at everyone and really is worse than a woman PMSing.

So what do you think? Am I just paranoid? It just makes me SOOOOO mad that he has to take everything out on everyone when we have not dome anything wrong. Do you know what I mean?

I just do not know what to do……..why should I feel like I have to walk on egg shells at work? I am sorry that I just rambled. The depression thing has been really making me tired and I really have not talked to anyone except for Joe and I really feel bad that he has been taking on all this.

October 4, 2006 at 10:02 pm #14965

Anonymous
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I’ve worked in the same place for 11 years. For a hairstylist, that’s a lifetime. The owner is a male with all other staff being women. There’s about 40 women where I work. When you get that many women together, there’s bound to be tension.

Sometimes it’s not the women that get to me, but the owner, my boss. Like you, it’s some of the things he says and his tone. There’s been many times in my time there that I’ve wanted to walk out. I think, I can do hair anywhere, why am I putting up with this. I feel like he makes me feel stupid and idiotic sometimes. Then I hear my moms voice in the back of my head saying “You’ll always have problems at every job. You just have to choose which set of them you want to deal with.”

I guess, it makes me think that it’s not that bad where I am. If I went somewhere else, the issues could be so much greater. Now, believe me, sometimes it is worth leaving. I’ve done it many times.

So, when I get into these (I call them) “funks”, I go get some new makeup, change my color or my haircut and try to look at things differently. I find that when I’m depressed, I feel more like everyone’s out to get me and notice that people react to me differently. I feel like it’s something I’m conveying that I don’t mean to. So, the new look for me helps me feel better, and inturn convey myself better. I feel like I can control the way I feel about working there.

Does this make sense? I’m only sharing my story to tell you you’re not paranoid and other people do go through the same thing.

So, the depression, are you looking into that at all? Is it post pardum? Have you mentioned it to a doctor? I had depression so bad after Henry was born and during my pregnancy with Lucy. I was darn near looney as far as I’m concerned. The weird thoughts that I had in my head weren’t “normal”. I did get help and I’m sooo glad I did. It helps every aspect of your life.

Ok, now I’m getting preachy-sorry. I just really feel for you. Your situation touched me and seems so familiar.

It does get better. Keep on smiling as much as you can.
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