Infantreflux.org | Daycare Question- LONG

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May 8, 2007 at 9:30 am #32579

Anonymous
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A few weeks ago, the director of Seth’s daycare approached me and asked if I wanted him to be moved up to the older twos room since they were moving one of his friends and they have been together since they were 9 weeks old and have always moved together. The little girl was moved because she was biting another child in the class and they thought she may be bored and a move up would help (I think the child that was bit parents also demanded it). Anyway, after much thought, I decided he should go since he would probably be moved up after the summer (or before) and it would be easier if he went with her.

He did ok with the transition period the past couple of weeks but yesterday on his first full day there, he started saying even before we got to school “no, new teacher’s name” over and over and by the time we got to school, he was really upset (crying and clinging, running out into the hall). I left him in the room reluctantly and he did settle down shortly after I left (I called the director). So, today, he starts the same thing before we even get in the car. “no, new teacher’s name”, “go to old teacher’s name room”. He even told the director this when he saw her this morning and she said to put him in his old room.

When we went in the old room, he ran up and JUMPED in his old teacher’s lap and gave her a hug and then went and tried to put his blanket and paci in his old cubby (which has been reassigned). I swear I was tearing up.

So, I think we made a bad decision letting him move and am thinking of asking he be put back in the old classroom. I have mixed feelings because he is going potty in the new room and will probably regress and he will still have to move mid summer but I figure 6-8 weeks at that age is a long time and maybe he is just not ready. He is the youngest one in the new room although his friend that was moved is only a week older.

I also am having second thoughts because his friend’s mom is a teacher and when school gets out, she probably won’t even be coming on a regular basis and he will be in there with the older kids he doesn’t know as well on the other hand though, he is smart and I fear he may pull this again when he has to move thinking he will get to go back..

What should I do??

Mom2Seth2007-5-8 9:35:47

May 8, 2007 at 9:55 am #32583

Anonymous
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I would leave him where he is more comfortable for now and not worry about the potty regression. I think that he will be fine if he moves up with more of the kids that he is used to being with. In our past daycare, they would send the kids over for lunch, some activities, etc… to build them up to moving. That way, it was not unfamiliar territory to them. THey would do it at fun times, like the bigger playground, etc…

Also, keep in mind, any daycare is only as good as the teacher in the room. Do you know the new teacher? I am sure she is fine, but maybe not as loving or gentle as the one he is with now? Just a thought…..

May 8, 2007 at 10:55 am #32596

Anonymous
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ditto what ann marie said.

May 8, 2007 at 11:10 am #32601

Anonymous
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Thanks, he is very attached to his ‘old’ teacher. It is the same one he had in the infant room. She moved up to that class a few months ago when another teacher quit. The new teacher is ok I guess but the class is a lot more structured which he may not like. I just called the daycare and requested he just stay in the young twos room for now.

May 8, 2007 at 11:47 am #32614

Anonymous
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I think I would do the same thing if it were my son – keep him in the room he’s more comfortable with. I wouldn’t worry about the potty training or the future transition. I think even a few weeks can make a difference. Good luck!

May 8, 2007 at 1:53 pm #32622

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I agree with everyone else…I would keep him where is is comfortable for now. 6-8 weeks is huge in children this age, and by that time he may be more than ready for a change.

May 8, 2007 at 6:01 pm #32645

Anonymous
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I probably would have kept him in the older room. Especially b/c his friend is already there. Sarah’s always had a hard time adjusting to room changes. It’s like starting a whole new place with new people and new routines. Definitely not easy. But once they get used to the new environment and new routine, and start making friends, I think that they usually adjust well. Changes are always hard.

Because Sarah (and Hailey) had hard times adjusting, I always asked for a slow transition with gradual visiting. They would have them visit over the course of a 1-2 week period, until they were in that class for full days. When Sarah moved from the infant to the toddler room, she stayed in the corner for over a month for part of the morning b/c it was a quieter section and she wasn’t used to it. She would cry when I dropped her off and would go back to the infant room every morning and try to climb the gate, but I told her that she wasn’t a baby anymore, and she was ready for the big girl room.

As for the potty training, I doubt he would regress. Seeing all the big kids using the potty would probably act like a good source of role modelling and peer pressure.

I saw that you moved him back down to the younger class. Maybe you can start preparing him by talking about the older class, and getting him ready for that room by looking at it when you do drop offs and pick ups. Sarah is going to JK next year, as well as another new program where she is going to be the new child without having any friends there. I’m worried about it, and scared for how she’ll adjust. By I try to remind myself that there are going to be many changes along the way, and that she might need time to adjust, but will be fine in the end. I think that sometimes these things are actually harder on us then on them- and I don’t mean that to sound condescending, I really do think it’s so hard for us to watch them having a hard time (at least for me).

Hopefully they’ll transition him more slowly and he’ll have an easier time when he moves up to that room again.

HUGS.

May 8, 2007 at 6:05 pm #32646

Anonymous
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I’m not sure about this really…ask me in 12 months when Alana goes through it. But I was just thinking about children at school, and the year to year transitions can be very hard for little ones…new teachers, new kids, new rules….and some breeze through and others find it harder. I suppose though at school, there is no backwards step. So, by moving him back it makes him more comfortable etc (which is great) but as a learning experience, what is he learning. Sorry, I don’t mean to be controversial, and I haven’t fully formed this thought, but it might just be something else to think about.

Perhaps he could be given a special role in his new room, that makes him feel more included and more involved?

May 8, 2007 at 8:16 pm #32661

Anonymous
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At Kaelyn’s day care, they have always done more of a gradual transition. She has “tried out” the new room and if it seemed to go well, they would end up moving her by the end of a two or three week period.

I’m actually kind of ticked off at them right now because they started trying to transition her to the threes around Christmas time because she was bored. At the time I asked them if not being potty trained was going to be a problem. They said no, so we started trying to transition. It didn’t go well at first, so we stopped for a month or two. They recently tried again. It went really well, she’s ready for the new room, but now they won’t move her because she’s not potty trained.

In your case, maybe talk to them about a slow transition to see if he gradually adjusts to the new room?
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