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I’ve always read in relationship books and heard Dr. Phil say these two things:
1. When there are problems between a woman and her MIL, the husband should talk to his mother about it.
2. In all relationships, and especially with inlaws, there needs to be proper boundaries. Your MIL is not respecting proper boundaries in this relationship.
I’d talk to dh and come to a very good agreement between the two of you of where the boundaries should be, and then have him talk to her and firmly tell her that although you both appreciate that she cares for the baby while you work, that you are the parents and she needs to respect your wishes.
Another thing that may help you is to get a good book on Assertiveness. I think you did the right thing by telling her what was bothering you, but some assertiveness tips would help you to express yourself more effectively and with more confidence.
Good luck. I’m so blessed that my inlaws usually keep their thoughts to themselves unless they are asked for their opinion. But they refuse to babysit.
Thanks, Ladies
The drama continued last night when my fil called DH at work to yell at him that I (his wife, that is) am ungrateful and always find something to complain about. So DH calls me, he’s like “what the heck happened?”. I told him that I had no clue what fil is talking about. So DH (b/c I refused to, I told him “it’s your parents, you deal with it”) called fil back to fidn out more so he tells DH “your wife always has “demands”. And he went on with the list of my demands. I began to LAUGH…Here are my “demands”:Please, wash your hands after you go to the bathroom (I’m not joking, she doesn’t wash hands even after #2, DISGUSTING!)
Please, do not put Ariella’s sponge for the bottles on top of ours (b/c I wash our dishes that might’ve come in contact with raw meat, etc)
I mean, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? She gets offended at everything and I mean every little stupid THING…So DH went over there last night to talk to them b/c it’s seriously getting out of hand. He told them like it is and that his dear mother, instead of telling me what she doesn’t like, goes to my fil and complains to him that we’re ungrateful. She promised that she will talk to me instead of talking behind my back so we’ll see if that holds true. I guess hiring a babysitter would’ve been such a better idea
i wouldn’t worry about what you said…everyone has those type of stories with thier MIL’s.
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