Need your thoughts on sleep desperately

Cory,

The first thing I’d wonder about is whether he’s getting a high enough dose of Prevacid. My boy gets 10mg 3x’s per day and that has really made a difference in how he feels. Does Ryan seem to be in pain with his reflux, or are you quite sure his reflux is under control?

I hate to give sleep advice because I am definitely not an expert, but I feel bad for you and I would like to help if I can.

If you are sure he is not waking from reflux pain, then I’d say it’s probably a habit he has developed. The fact that he goes to bed awake and takes several good naps per day is very good! You will probably only have to tweak his routine a little to get him sleeping better at night.

The fact that he slept perfectly when you laid beside him is a good indication that he is not in pain, but just wants mommy nearby.

Babies (and adults) go through several alternating stages of light and deep sleep during the night. (Babies have more light sleep than adults). When an adult comes to a light stage of sleep, they usually will turn over, or perhaps get up to go the bathroom and then go right back to sleep. Babies need to learn to go back to sleep when they come to this light stage of sleep. Often they become too wakeful and have trouble falling back to sleep, especially if they are used to having a prop to go to sleep in the first place (a bottle, rocking, etc.). That’s why I say it is great that he goes to bed awake. He is ahead of the game in that area!!

Ryan probably has gotten into the habit of crying for you and wanting his bottle when he reaches his first stage of light sleep after going to bed for the night. He may have trouble going back to sleep after that because his night time sleep cycle is interrupted and he becomes too wakeful. The first thing I’d try is to keep him up just a little bit later; perhaps until 8pm so he gets his last bottle a little later. Perhaps you could put some cereal in his night time bottle if you think he needs it to help him sleep all night. (By six months babies should really be able to sleep all night without being fed if they are healthy and well fed during the day).

What I always did with my first two babies and still do with my son who is the same age as Ryan, is comfort them without picking them up at night when they wake up, so they learn pretty early on that I will not be picking them up in the middle of the night. When my son wakes in the night I wait a few minutes to see if he will settle himself. If not, I go in, pat his back, say “night, night” and leave. If he cries, I wait a few minutes and try again. If he’s really upset I’ll stay by his crib and pat him a little until he calms down, then leave again. Some experts suggest sitting on a chair where they can see you, and gradually moving the chair further and further away each night. The important thing is to keep the interaction to a minimum. Say nothing more than, “mommy’s here” or “night, night.”

With all of my children I’ve had to do this (go in and comfort them in bed without picking them up) from time to time, but they eventually learned to settle themselves when they wake up at night. With my son and I rarely have to go in anymore at night, but he still has trouble with his early morning light sleep stage which occurrs usually between 4:30 and 5:30am. I’m working on that by just leaving him and letting him cry a little and lately most mornings he goes back to sleep without me having to go in.

This routine can be exhausting for a while, but in the long run you’ll probably have a baby who sleeps well at night and can settle himself when he wakes up at night.

Good luck! The first few nights will be the most difficult. He’ll probably be madder than ever because he expects to be picked up and won’t understand why his calls aren’t being answered in the usual way. It will take a few nights or even a week or two for him to learn to put himself to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night.

I hope you are sleeping through the night soon

Hi,

Not that I’m even remotely qualified to give sleep advice, my son is teething right now and we are so tired that we have started bringing him to bed if he wakes. (which has been going on for weeks now!)This should be a fun habit to break!

If your LO is waking at the exact same time every night- it may be a habit. You could try going in his room about an hour before he usually wakes up and gently wake him, not wide awake, just enough to get his eyes open for a second- this can throw the sleep cycle off enough that he may not wake at the usual habit time. You may have to do this for a few nights before it works- but I’ve done it a few times and it has worked. I read about it in the Babywhisperer books- its called ‘wake to sleep’.

Good luck and good sleeping!

Julie