Infantreflux.org | I’m tired..

This topic has 12 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 20 years, 4 months ago by Anonymous.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)

Author

Posts
June 7, 2006 at 8:56 pm #9315

Anonymous
Inactive

This vent does not have a whole lot to do with Aidan’s reflux…(but of course some of it does)…I’m tired…seriously tired. Aidan is a bit out of sorts (I gave him applesauce, my bad) and getting over an ear infection (think the antibiotics are getting to his tummy)….My older son is such a help, and he loves his brother so much, I could not have asked for him to act any better, but it’s summer…summer means I have to be constantly watching him as he loves to play outside..which in turn means I can never get anything done…also that means Aidan has no schedule whatsoever as he gets dragged to swimming lessons, the pool (an everyday thing), and the only time I can get anything done, wheather that means cleaning the house, balancing the checkbook, or even taking a shower is when they are both asleep..which means about 10-11 because the older one takes forever to get to sleep (knowing he has no school) and Aidan is revolting against the crib, so by the time I finally get them both actually sleeping, it is near 11….so I stay up til like 3 in the morning doing the things I should have been able to do during the day, laundry, dishes, vaccumming, showering, etc…I’m tired and I want my husband to come back..I hate being a single mom..hate hate hate it.I was for 2 years with my older son until I met my husband…He’s suposed to come back to live with us in september….I can’t go out because my mother won’t watch the kids until they are asleep…I think I am the only person who goes grocery shopping at 11 at night.I’m just so darn tired…but I still have to play super soaker with the older one when all his friends are busy, and make snacks for them when they come over to play…read stories at night…teach him to swim while at the same time teach Aidan about the pool…(great place to go if they spit up btw..no one notices and the water washes it away..gross I know but what is chlorine for?? ), I never yell at the older one even when I have been up all night (my fault usually Aidan can roll over now and has taken to sleeping on his tummy which makes me anxious which causes me to wake up every hour to check on him) I want a pause button so I can relax for a few minutes in the daytime and do something for me…..My clothes (and I know you can relate) always smell like sour milk from spit up, and there’s no point in changeing my shirt when he does because I know he’ll do it again soon after (not a ton of spit up but just enough to be disgusting and frustrating)…I’m sorry this is so long, but most of my friends don’t have children and the ones that do have husbands who can help them and just look at me like they feel sorry for me the few times I have tried to get together with them.

My birthday is on friday and my husband has to be a pall bearer at the funeral of his best friends father.. (totally selfish paragraph coming up) and all I can think about is OMG it’s my BIRTHDAY……and my husband will be spending it with his friends… (the funeral is at 11, will be over at 12) he decided that hanging out with them afterwards takes precidence over being with me for my birthday…the understanding part of me says “well that makes sense I mean it is his best friend” but the rest of me wants to just scream and throw a giant selfish tantrum and say “I went through 9 months of pregnancy alone….I will be taking care of these kids alone until Aidan is 9 months old….i don’t care about your stupid friend!!!!!! I want you here with your FAMILY for my birthday!!!”I’m just tired….and all I wanted was one stupid day to be about ME not Aidan’s reflux (which on a good note seems better, the spitting does not bother him), not my older son, I just want my birthday to be about me…..BUT I’m a mother..so my life isn’t about me anymore….ok I’m rambling, and I doubt anyone has even gotten this far reading this (that’s the tired thing kicking up) anyway even if no one responds..it was good to just get this vent out……

June 7, 2006 at 9:36 pm #9321

Anonymous
Inactive

Jill,

I did read it all, and I do understand. I’m tired all the time. I have a husband but I may as well be alone becuase he fully believes they are my responsibility. So I do know what it’s like to be a single mom. I’m exhausted, and forget about ever having any day be about me or what I need. That hasn’t happened in four years!!!! I had to take care of my kids by myself two days after gall bladder surgery because my dh had a cold and wouldn’t get out of bed. My dh wouldn’t even stay with me in the hospital the night I had my third child (actually any of my children) because he wanted to go home and RELAX. I had to leave the hospital less 26 hours after my third child was born because dh and the inlaws were freaking out that they couldn’t handle the kids at home. I was up at 7am the next morning (after 12 hours of labor with no epidural and absolutely no sleep in almost 48 hrs.) to get my three yr.old off to preschool and I had to take all three kids with me. The teachers looked at me like I was nuts and asked me why I wasn’t still in the hospital. When I had the flu, guess what, I was on my own because in dh’s mind if I’m consicious I should be able to handle it.

Anyway, I could go on and on…..but I won’t. I just wanted to say that I understand. Motherhood is a huge sacrifice, especially when you are doing it alone, and sometimes we just need someone to take care of us once in a while. I hope he cuts out early and spends some time with you that day. You deserve it.

Christine

June 7, 2006 at 9:39 pm #9322

Anonymous
Inactive

Jill,

First of all: Happy Birthday (I know, it’s a bit early).

Second of all: I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time. Being a mom is crazy, that’s all I can say. I can only imagine how hard it is going through it alone, but it sounds like you are great. Sometimes I think that I should take some video of Hailey so that when we’re old and she wants to put us in a nursing home, we can show her what a terror she was and all that we’ve done for her (and this is only the beginning). Motherhood is a sacrifice, that’s for sure. I don’t even know who I am anymore except for Sarah and Hailey’s mom. I’m sure you can relate. But as we know, it’s worth it. So hang in there. I hope that you can steal a few mintues for yourself. I know how exhausting it can be.

June 7, 2006 at 9:40 pm #9323

Anonymous
Inactive

OMG, after reading your post Christine, I’d like to edit my reply just to say BIGGGGGG HUGS to you both! I’m sorry.

June 7, 2006 at 9:43 pm #9324

Anonymous
Inactive

I agree with Lori – big hugs to you both and happy early birthday Jill. Thinking restful thoughts for everyone…

June 7, 2006 at 9:54 pm #9326

Anonymous
Inactive

I swear men should be the ones to have babies!!!!!!!! I mean we’d probably still take care of them the majority of the time, but it would be nice if they actually HAD them 😉 whenever my husband whines about anything, having a cold, the flu, etc. I cut him off and say “grew a human inside of me for 9 months, had major surgery to give birth to him (c-sec) I win, stop whining” and wow, no epidural??? I went into labor a day early at about 10 pm with Aidan and they wouldn’t start the c-sec until 7 the next morning (because I ate some crackers ?!?!) and I put up with the contractions for exactly 2 hours before I started demanding an epidural (I mean I had to have one anyway it was a planned c-sec) instead they just kept doping me up with pain medication (mostly so I’d shut up I think) I don’t think I would ever be cut out for a “normal” birth-I’m WAY to much of a wuss!!!!!

My sister’s husband is an alien (I swear) not only did he stay with her in the hospital with her when she had both her kids, he stayed home from work for almost a month after she had her second so he could watch the older one (he’s 18 months, the new one is 3 weeks) AND he takes the night shift so she can sleep….AND he did the same with the first…he loves changeing diapers is happy to watch the kids so she can go out sometimes..and he is only 23!!!!!!! Sheesh

Lori-LOL about the video thing, that is a good idea, I actually HAVE a video of me trying to feed Aidan when he was going through his bottle refusal thing (as great as his ped is, she didn’t believe me until I showed her) was going to erase it but now I might keep it around-lol

Thanks for taking the time to read my rambling post, you guys are the best.

Aidansmom792006-6-7 21:57:38

June 7, 2006 at 10:08 pm #9327

Anonymous
Inactive

Hi again Jill,

Thanks for the sympathy! Actually I had more thoughts for you but I got myself in such a bad mood complaining about my dh that I forgot what was on my mind!! Sorry about that.

My thought was that from reading your post I can tell you are a terrific mother. BUT, I wonder if maybe you are a bit of a perfectionist. My house is probably only half as clean as your’s and my kids probably don’t get as much attention as your’s but I know they feel loved and secure and happy. Maybe you could give yourself a little more of a break, let some things go, and your children would still be happy and well loved. Just something to think about. Remember…taking care of mommy IS taking care of the children.

Happy Birthday! (Please don’t clean at all that day).

You’re a great mom.

Christine

June 8, 2006 at 5:56 pm #9379

Anonymous
Inactive

Hugs to all of you………..I know how hard it is to have an older
child who we are running everywhere and a little refluxer but I’m lucky
enough to have a husband who pitches in. Don’t get me wrong, I
definitely get frustrated with him at times and he could always do more
but I can only imagine how tough it would be to do it all myself.
I have a ton of respect for you guys!!! Jill, happy birthday a
bit early and try to take time for you that day. I know it may be
hard, but even leaving the dishes in the sink and toys on the floor
sometimes is a good break!

June 8, 2006 at 7:52 pm #9380

Anonymous
Inactive

Hi Jill, so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. I only have one child so far so I cant really relate. I defiantly want more kids, but the thought of having another reflux baby and an older child to take care of scares me to death.

I agree with Christine, you can be a good mom without being the worlds greatest mom. You may just have to prioritize and let some things go. I did not clean a bathroom for three months after Sebastian was born! You wont be any good to anyone if you have a nervous breakdown, or end up sick form being exhausted. It is great that you give so much time and attnetion to Austin, but at six there is nothing wrong with scheduling some time for him to play by himself or watch TV so you can get some work done.

I would not worry about the tummy sleeping. Sebastian started doing that at four months. I worried a little at first but there was nothing I could do. He was determined to sleep on his tummy. I figure if he can move around that well then he will be able to get himself out of trouble if he has a problem. He now alternates between his tummy, back and side throughout the night, and is all over the crib.

There is no such thing as putting yourself first when you have kids, but you do need give something to yourself or you will end up miserable. Hang in there and good luck.

June 8, 2006 at 8:47 pm #9384

Anonymous
Inactive

oh, my house is so far from spotless!!!! a 6 year old boy in the summer is like the tazmanian devil!!! Not to mention he’s at the age of clumsiness where everything he eats or drinks ends up spilling on the floor at one time or another!!! Although he puts forth his best effort to try to clean the spills up, at the end of the day I’m always mopping up lemonade residue or finding the waffle I put in front of him for breakfast sitting in his play room ( with a good amount of syrup on the floor!!!) and all this can happen in the time I run upstairs to change Aidan!!!!!He’s the sweetest kid, just not the most tidy ( think making mud pies and bug hunting in the dirt and forgetting to take his shoes off before walking into the house!!!!) Most of the time I take it all in stride but on the day of that post I had just cleaned up an entire jug of lemonade that spilled over the majority of the living room (he wanted to get his drink himself)… 6 is the funniest age..but as fasr as the cleaning goes..if I didn’t do a spill/crumb check at night and get it cleaned up, we’d have ants and bugs up to our ears!!!!! but ty guys so much for the encouragement…!! and I did indeed do something for myself today!!! I bought new makeup for the first time in..oh sheesh I can’t even remember the last time I bought any!!!(not that I’ll have the time to put it on except for special occasions, but I was using brow pencil for eye liner…it occured to me then that I might want to invest in some new stuff)

June 8, 2006 at 8:51 pm #9385

Anonymous
Inactive

Thats funny I just had a mini shopping spree myself today. I got a new purse, new underware and some make up. Most days I only leave the house to walk around the subdivision, but if feels good to at least have it around

June 8, 2006 at 9:48 pm #9398

Anonymous
Inactive

Lori,

Somehow in my exhausted state last night I missed your post on this thread. Thanks for your sympathy, too!! Hopefully one day it will get better, but for now I’m on my own. At least the moms here understand that I work hard. I just had a big fght with dh because he says he doesn’t have to walk in a man shoes to understand their life because he is gifted with empathy, and therefore he fully understands how hard I work. HUGH?? I’d like to see him do my job for one full day!

Anyway, thanks again. I’ll stop ranting now.

I hope Hailey is feeling better and still experimenting with eating.

Christine

June 9, 2006 at 9:13 am #9416

Anonymous
Inactive

Oh my gosh Christine. I’m really sorry that you have to do it alone. Without my husband I don’t know how I’d get through it.
Author

Posts