For Jess and Ella- re sleep training

I appreciate this thread. I have personally seen both sides of this issue.

DC1 was a horrible sleeper. I did the every hour/continuous bf’ing thing

for many many months. I read only Dr. Sears, and considered Ferber the

devil. There was no way I would ever change my mind and let my child

CIO. She did not sleep through the night until age 2.

Then came DC2. Another horrible sleeper. This time we confirmed silent

reflux, medicated, and had much more knowledge, but still I hit a wall at

9 months when not only were we doing the hourly/continuous bf’ing

thing again, but now I was chasing after a very active 3-year old. I read

Ferber, Weissbluth, Kurcinka-Sheedy, and completely changed my mind.

I mean, I really surprised myself. We reduced his night feedings

gradually, and now at 13 months he only wakes twice to feed (ok for

now). He went from sleeping in my bed, latched on nearly all night, to

falling asleep drowsy in his crib, and staying there. I have no regrets, and

if anything feel proud of myself for helping him learn to sleep better even

though it was emotionally brutal, and a bit of a slow process (I wanted to

be as sure as possible that he wasn’t waking from pain).

I think it’s so important to keep an open mind, and not judge others, and

soooo hard. It’s even harder not to judge yourself! It feels a bit lonely

sometimes to consider yourself an attached parent, and yet be ‘for’ sleep

training–it’s just not often a popular opinion in such circles. I appreciate

what has been said so far in this post.

Emily,

We didn’t do any type of sleep training on Brianna until she was 7 and a half months old. I will say I am glad I waited, but every child is different and you know Caden best, so you are a great mom and whatever you do will be right for him!

Emily,

When I read Ferber, it really was a lightbulb moment reading about how

the wakings can actually be caused by the feedings. I think for ds, he

woke to feed because of the reflux, and then nursed for comfort. Once

the reflux was under control, he woke out of habit to eat because he has

been conditioned to be hungry all night long. So we started there. I

decided at first to only feed him every 2.5 hours, and if he woke before it

was time, dh would respond and if necessary, hold him in the recliner

until the next feeding. Every few nights we added 30 minutes to the

interval. DH had some long nights, but I finally got some needed sleep.

Once he was only feeding 3x’s a night we tackled the falling asleep part.

This was the hardest part. I put him down drowsy, but awake, and left

the room (sat listening in the next room with dh and a good friend who

came for support). We checked on him every 5 mintues I think, and 35

excruciating minutes later he fell asleep sitting up. I felt sooooo awful,

but relieved at the same time. We determined that checking on him made

it worse, so the next couple nights let him be, and he was asleep in 10

minutes. I think it was under a week before I could put him down, and he

would literally just roll over and go to sleep. I honestly never believed it

was possible for a child of mine (dd didn’t go to sleep on her own until

she was 2). He woke up happy, every morning, and seemed completely

unaffected by the process. I watched his behavior closely during the day

to see if it might change, but he stayed the same sunny, confident baby,

only with a more rested mommy! Another development: from time to

time he even naps in his crib now. (DD never slept in her crib at all,

would wake the second her body touched the mattress. We slept in a

recliner with her for nearly a year, and held her for her naps for almost 2).

I ended up getting a video monitor for his room, and it was one of the

best things I’ve ever purchased. That way I know exactly what he’s doing.

We have a very small house, so sound was never an issue!

He is currently waking up twice to feed. He is still having some mild

reflux, and until it is resolved (I’ve recently gone dairy/soy free, again), I

probably won’t work hard to change that.

HTH!

Finally around 18 months we gave up on the crib, and bought a full sized

mattress for her room. It was easier to get her down in it, as we could lay

next to her.

I bought a lullaby cd, and played it at every nap and bedtime. It’s hard to

remember how it progressed exactly, but basically we started laying down

with her until she fell asleep, while the music played. Then, as she got

older and more used to her bed, we would only lay down for a specified

number of songs (3). Then we would leave, and if she was still awake at

the end of the cd, she could call for us, we’d come and restart it, and lay

down for 3 more songs. It didn’t always work smoothly like that, and

many nights I ended up driving her (my husband worked the midnight

shift at the time, so I was on my own a lot). But I’d say that by the time

she was 2, she was pretty consistent. We still play the same CD (best 3

bucks I ever spent), and I lay down with her for 1-3 songs, depending on

how late it is and how tired I am.

I’m not sure how I lucked out, but she never got out of bed! It’s almost as

if she didn’t realize it was an option. It wasn’t until recently (she’s almost

4 now) that she has even started getting out of her bed in the morning to

look for me–she used to call for me and ask permission.