Nightmares!

YES!!! I have expererienced exactly this same thing with Eliana. She slept perfectly after she outgrew her reflux – all night, every night – until she suddenly started waking up screaming in sheer terror a few times every night. I think it started around 21 mos. for her. I was in the last trimester of my pregnancy with Myles. When Myles was born I was getting up as much for Ellie as I was with Myles. It was very depressing because I was so tired and it seemed like it would never end.

I did exactly what you are doing, I went to her every time she cried and I reassured her that mommy was nearby and if she was awake enough to tell me what she dreamed or what she was afraid of I’d reassure her that those things were not real, that it was just a dream and that she was safe in her bed. This went on for a long time, probably a year. I know that’s a long time, but she was younger when it started. Maybe it will take less time for Claire since she is older. I do think it’s important to go to them each time and reassure them, so I think you’re doing the right thing.

Ellie is a lot like you describe Claire, fearful, sensitive, etc. and I think that contributes to the night mares. As she became more verbal and she could tell me what she dreamed I noticed that many of her nightmares were directly related to things she was also afraid of during the day. So, I found it helpful to talk to her about those things during the day to try and reassure her. She was afraid of dragons and monsters so we’d talk about them and I’d tell her they were not real. I really think that helped because some nights she’d wake up screaming about dragons and I’d just remind her that dragons are not real and she’d settle down. Overall I have to be more careful about what she is exposed to than I ever did with Liza. I monitor everything she watches on TV and the books I buy her to make sure they don’t contain images or ideas that will frighten her. This helps alot. Also, I tell her that Jesus and the angels watch over her at night and that reassures her a lot.

So, now we’re at a point where nightmares are only an occassional event instead of nightly, but she’s developed a full fledged phobia about flying insects. It’s always something.

Hang in there. It will get better.

I just saw a television program about this. It is not a nightmare but a night terror. Apparently, they are very different. It was a program about a mom with the same situation, where the child was unable to be consoled and couldn’t even acknowledge the mother’s presence. It is much like sleep walking. The Dr’s advice was that it makes it worse to try to console her, but that the mom should be there quietly and help if she needs it or ‘wakes up.’ Dr. also recommended a strict, relaxing night time routine. NOt sure if this helps, but you could do some research on night terrors. Hang in there!!

Ellie used to have both night terrors and nightmares. When it was a night terror I could tell because she seemed to be still asleep and she didn’t to realize I was there, but when it was a nightmare she’d wake up and be comforted by my presence. It’s true that when it’s a night terror talking to them may make it worse. I’d just go in and stand next to her and sometimes lay her back down gently.

Naomi,

I can’t help but laugh. My Ellie is the same way. She used to be afraid of the glow in the dark stars in her room too. We drove 100 miles last Saturday to go to this place called Story Book Land and we weren’t there two minutes when she noticed the flies. She was screaming in sheer terror and pleading with us to take her home. Last summer she actually fainted in her carseat because there was a bug on her car window. She holds her breath when she panicks and sometimes faints.

When is Claire’s birthday. I was wondering if she’s close to Ellie’s age or not? Ellie is 3.5.