Nightmares!

[Anonymous]

My 3 year old, former refluxer, has been having some serious nightmare issues. She is a great sleeper. Even during the worst of her refluxing, she would go right back to sleep on her own after an episode.

However, since she hit 3, and since her brother came home from the hospital (a link I’m sure), her nightmares have been out of control. It is a rare night that she doesn’t wake up screaming and crying and won’t stop until we go in there. This can happen several times a night too. I have no idea what to do about it, but right now, she wakes us up more often than her baby brother does!!

She has always been a very sensitive child, shy, scared of many things.. bugs, loud noises, toys that move, dogs – even though we have one, etc. She often covers her ears when she is frightened of something… wierd.

She used to cry out at night when she was younger, and after growing out of the reflux, and when I would go in, it was like she was crying, her eyes were open, but she wasn’t awake. This is often how she is during her nightmares too. She will talk to you about them, through her tears, but keep crying, and then, all of a sudden, she stops and it’s like she woke up, and everything’s fine. This is why I don’t feel like I can just let her keep crying for a minute, because she is truly terrified and it’s almost like she can’t wake herself up. Like the other night, my husband went in to her, lay in bed with her and she just kept howling. He kept talking to her, and she was talking to him, but howling all the while. I finally came in, said “Claire” and she stopped crying and looked at me. She then turned to dh and asked him why he was in her bed!

We try to talk to her about them, we pray, show her that there isn’t anything frightening in her room, etc. I just don’t know what to do.

Any of you experienced this with your little ones? Any advice?

[Anonymous]

YES!!! I have expererienced exactly this same thing with Eliana. She slept perfectly after she outgrew her reflux – all night, every night – until she suddenly started waking up screaming in sheer terror a few times every night. I think it started around 21 mos. for her. I was in the last trimester of my pregnancy with Myles. When Myles was born I was getting up as much for Ellie as I was with Myles. It was very depressing because I was so tired and it seemed like it would never end.

I did exactly what you are doing, I went to her every time she cried and I reassured her that mommy was nearby and if she was awake enough to tell me what she dreamed or what she was afraid of I’d reassure her that those things were not real, that it was just a dream and that she was safe in her bed. This went on for a long time, probably a year. I know that’s a long time, but she was younger when it started. Maybe it will take less time for Claire since she is older. I do think it’s important to go to them each time and reassure them, so I think you’re doing the right thing.

Ellie is a lot like you describe Claire, fearful, sensitive, etc. and I think that contributes to the night mares. As she became more verbal and she could tell me what she dreamed I noticed that many of her nightmares were directly related to things she was also afraid of during the day. So, I found it helpful to talk to her about those things during the day to try and reassure her. She was afraid of dragons and monsters so we’d talk about them and I’d tell her they were not real. I really think that helped because some nights she’d wake up screaming about dragons and I’d just remind her that dragons are not real and she’d settle down. Overall I have to be more careful about what she is exposed to than I ever did with Liza. I monitor everything she watches on TV and the books I buy her to make sure they don’t contain images or ideas that will frighten her. This helps alot. Also, I tell her that Jesus and the angels watch over her at night and that reassures her a lot.

So, now we’re at a point where nightmares are only an occassional event instead of nightly, but she’s developed a full fledged phobia about flying insects. It’s always something.

Hang in there. It will get better.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have any advice for you b/c we’re not there yet, but I just wanted to say hang in there. I think Christine had some good ideas of talking about it all during the daytime. You’re doing a great job.

[Anonymous]

I just saw a television program about this. It is not a nightmare but a night terror. Apparently, they are very different. It was a program about a mom with the same situation, where the child was unable to be consoled and couldn’t even acknowledge the mother’s presence. It is much like sleep walking. The Dr’s advice was that it makes it worse to try to console her, but that the mom should be there quietly and help if she needs it or ‘wakes up.’ Dr. also recommended a strict, relaxing night time routine. NOt sure if this helps, but you could do some research on night terrors. Hang in there!!

[Anonymous]

Seth has night terrors not nightmares and they are horrible. They come and go but when he does have them they seem to last for several nights. I almost know when he will have one though because they usually happen when he gets overtired or overstimulated and the PP is right, if you try to touch or console him it prolongs th episode and makes it worse. You may want to do some research online (I’ve seen good info. on Babycenter) to try to clarify which type Claire is having.

[Anonymous]

Ellie used to have both night terrors and nightmares. When it was a night terror I could tell because she seemed to be still asleep and she didn’t to realize I was there, but when it was a nightmare she’d wake up and be comforted by my presence. It’s true that when it’s a night terror talking to them may make it worse. I’d just go in and stand next to her and sometimes lay her back down gently.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I do think she has both nightmares and night terrors, as there are certainly times when she is not able to be consoled, and it does seem to happen several nights in a row. We are doing our best to reassure her, help her to feel safe, monitor what she is seeing on T.V and reading, etc. Hopefully, this will pass soon. Her bad dreams are about the most innocuous things too… stars falling out the sky (she has glow in the dark ones on her ceiling), bambi , etc.

Christine, Claire and Ellie sound like they would get along just perfectly. She, too, is terrified of flying insects. My father is in town visiting and he took her to a local park. They had to come home early because she saw ants! Good grief!

[Anonymous]

Naomi,

I can’t help but laugh. My Ellie is the same way. She used to be afraid of the glow in the dark stars in her room too. We drove 100 miles last Saturday to go to this place called Story Book Land and we weren’t there two minutes when she noticed the flies. She was screaming in sheer terror and pleading with us to take her home. Last summer she actually fainted in her carseat because there was a bug on her car window. She holds her breath when she panicks and sometimes faints.

When is Claire’s birthday. I was wondering if she’s close to Ellie’s age or not? Ellie is 3.5.

[Anonymous]

Oh man, we haven’t reached the fainting level yet, but I can see how that could happen. Currently she just screams hysterically. No breath holding, YET, anyway!

Her birthday is November 5th.. almost 3.5 as well. It must be the age, huh?

[Author]

Posts