Mommy Shut-Down Syndrome

I’ve been there…it’ll get better. You’re exhausted. Taking care of an infant is an incredibley difficult, selfless, exhausting job in the best of circumstances. With a baby with reflux or any other illness, it’s even harder.

I’ve read that in many cultures in this great big world that we live in, post-partum mothers are pampered and taken care of by extended family in the weeks or months following a baby’s birth. In our culture women are expected to roll off the delivery table and be super mom 24 hours per day with little or no help. To the more enlightened societies in this world our way is ludicrous!

And, yes from what I’ve read and been told it is possible to have delayed ppd when you are nursing. Something about hormone levels not dropping or changing as quickly in nursing moms. If you are seriously depressed or are having any thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, don’t be afraid to talk to your docotor. He/She will probably give you some medication. (My doctor always asks post partum mom’s how they are feeling and if they are struggling with ppd – it’ s normal and there are ways to treat it.)

More than likely, your’re just exhausted and you’ll be fine. My middle child had silent reflux and was extremely irritable most of the time. She woke every 20 – 60 minutes every night of her life for 5 straight months. There were days I said I wished I’d never had a second baby…that I wanted to die…of course I didn’t mean it, I was just wiped out.

My third child has reflux and there were a few weeks there when I again said I wished I never had another child. I was just wiped out and exhausted and somewhat panicked about how the h*ll I was going to take care of him puking and gagging all day long and still take care of my older two.

With a first baby, the change in your lifestyle is tremendous, and even more so with a reflux baby. You need some pampering and some time off. Is there anybody who can give you a break once in a while??Can dh feed the baby once or twice a week at night? You’d be surprised at how much better you feel with just a little break and a little time to do something for yourself.

Good luck and hang in there. I hope things get better soon.

I have read that yes, you can get PPD a few months after birth, but i think that it is SO hard to take care of a sick baby, that some of us have been there at some point. You need to get some help, whether from your husband, some family or someone else if you can afford it; i don´t know how you feel about counseling but that may help as well? You need to vent and you need to rest — a lack of both is possibly the cause of your anxiety and your feelings.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope it gest better soon.

I could have written that post a few months ago. It happened to me, after I stopped breast feeding. I thought I was going to mess the baby up because i just didn’t care if she cried after a while. my doc. wanted to start me on lexapro- something not as potent as zoloft, it was supposed to just take the edge off and not knock you out at night. I was too scared to start it because my husband is gone 3 weeks out of the month. My friend uses it and has had great success. Reflux does peak at around 3-4 months. Once he is on solids more it will get better. Soon he will develop muscles to sit and crawl and that seems to help the reflux. Does he need a higher dose of PPI? Might want to play around with it maybe ask for a switch to prevacid or zegerid. Are you giving the meds. to him on an empty stomach 30 mins before you feed him? Might want to try pumping and thickening with oatmeal or simply thick. It really helps the make it heavier so it will stay down. Good luck!

Ruby,

I feel so much just reading your post….I have definitely been there, many different times… First off, you are reacting to a very stressful and overwhelming situation. Second, it’s very important to have someone around you know how you are feeling. It’s also important to get these feelings out by talking to someone, a good friend, family member, counselor, minister, etc. Third, sleep deprivation can do horrible things to a person. From what I was told in our birthing class, ppd can surface nearly any time for a very long time after giving birth. 4 months in could defiinitely be ppd, but also, they told us that exhaustion was THE major factor in making ppd worse, or helping it to really come out. On the flip side, I recently went through a spell like you are describing, loooong after ppd was really a possibility. I think that having a child who is sick, who has a condition that limits your ability to rest, sleep and rejuvenate, and also not knowing when it will get better….can cause major regular depression, not just ppd.

Getting some time to breathe away from your baby could really make you feel better. I’m talking even just 30 minutes or one hour. Something I did too, was just go outside and take the baby for a walk, if the weather is okay where you live. Just getting out of your house can do wonders for your spirits. Do you have family nearby or friends who can help? Do you live near any of us (meaning the infant reflux folks?) I am in southern CA. I think that these forums have literally saved me from being medicated, and possibly from suffering from severe depression and they’ve certainly helped me to make better decisions concerning my son’s treatment. This is the support group that I had, but having someone in person is great, too. Some of these moms have become so close that we’ve exchanged personal emails and really keep one another in the loop, also some of these moms call one another after becoming friends on this forum. Just writing your message shows that you recognize something is going on and you are asking for help….which is a very good sign. I also immediately wondered whether your baby is on a good enough dose of ppi meds, check this site: http://www.marci-kids.com

Also, for us switching from prevacid to zegerid (if your insurance pays for it) really made things a lot easier, we didn’t have to schedule around meals, you can give it whenever, regardless of when the baby has eaten. It made a HUGE difference.

HUGS to you!!!!!!

YES!!! You DO have a happy baby somewhere in there!!!

That’s EXACTLY what happened with Jonah!!! We were shocked!!

I’m so glad that the woman from church is willing to help and that you have the support of your parents!

keep us posted!

~laura

I had delayed PPD. I refused to believe it until my dh nicely pointed out that I am just not the same person anymore. When he gave me examples, I was shocked to realize at what I turned into. I have been on Zoloft for about 9 months now & am just a much happier person now.