Hi Girls,
I’m at my complete wits end.
One of my girls has severe reflux and laryngomalacia (medical term for floppy airway). She eats between 10-17 oz of Neocate each day, and every single feeding is a circus. She should be eating AT LEAST 17 oz each day. The doctors keep telling me that “she’s growing” (just hit 11 lbs, now at 4 months) and that I need to “keep doing what I am doing.”
I’m ready to assassinate these doctors.
The only reason she is “growing” is because I attempt to feed her every two hours around the clock. It’s clear that the doctors have NO ANSWERS and instead choose to blow smoke up my ass with their unrealistic advice.
Next week, my daughter is scheduled to have exploratory surgery to “fix” her floppy airway by cutting the membrane that restricts her breathing. The doctors feel this is necessary because she is wasting so many calories just trying to breath. (Eating and breathing at the same time is so hard for her).
I am a nervous wreck. I want to cry just looking at her. And this is awful but: I’m beginning to resent her for “ruining” this time in our lives.
Her twin sister is nearly 14 lbs. Eats like a champ. A wonderfully happy baby.
I’m heartsick over this. My daughter’s main job in life is to eat; my main job in life is to feed her. I absolutely hate feeding time. I’m happiest when she’s asleep.
Can someone offer any advice/support? I am so upset and feel like the biggest failure on the planet.
xoxo,
Cat
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