Wow, so sorry I didn’t see your post til now. the short answer is that YES YES YES reflux can be SO MUCH WORSE at night and I have found that it’s not just me and my baby, but many mothers who go through this. Have you completely cut dairy and soy from your diet to see if he’s MSPI? Oops, I forgot to ask if you are breastfeeding? If you are bottle feeding, try doing a non-dairy, non-soy formula and not giving any solids with hidden dairy or soy for two weeks. THis could be a huge factor for you.
This web-site will explain a lot about MSPI for you:
The longer answer is that my son has horrible sleeping problems related to his severe reflux and for many months his good nights have been your bad nights. My bad nights were waking every 45 minutes or worse with teething, nearly every 30 minutes screaming and needing to nurse back to sleep. I really encourage you to check out ppis, are you seeing a specialist? The husband/habit thing is also really hard to deal with, I hope as you look into this further he will open up to the possibility that your little guy is much more uncomfortable than you might imagine. My little one basically didn’t nap at all regularly until about 8-10 months, when I finally cut all dairy and soy from my diet. There’s more to the story if you are interested, but just know you are not alone, and YES, this should get better, but it might go very slowly. It sounds like you still have a lot of options to look into, so that’s very good. Hav eyou tried using Mylanta Cherry Supreme at night or naptime when he wakes? Laura (hellbennt)’s intro has links to Mylanta dosing, etc. It could really help you. We also used carafate for a while and it was really helpful. Now my little guy is on Zegerid, which we both LOVE, and we just use Mylanta on an as needed basis. He gets out of control crazy with sleep when he’s teething or sick, so watch out for that, it can get so much worse with the teeth. Have you had any testing done? Please write more and I can tell you about some of hte things we’ve tried.
Keep your chin up. No sleep can really make you crazy. I completely understand. 
