I’m feeling a bit reflective as Palmer’s 3rd birthday quickly approaches next week, and even though I haven’t been good at keeping up on this site I think that this is the place to reflect. This site was my lifesaver for so many months, and I occasionally still pop in just to see who is still around. So please forgive me for hopping on here to bumble through my thoughts…I just believe that you all are those who understand.
First of all I want to say that I still remember how newcomers (or “near-newcomers”) to the reflux battle feel, and you may not want to read this. I know that when we were initially going through this with Palmer I probably would have FREAKED at reading a post from the mom of an almost 3 year old who was still dealing with infant–turned childhood reflux. Part of the reason for stating this awareness is to let you know that I don’t mean to cause anyone any stress by writing this post. Hopefully what you can take from this is that (as Laura and others often tell you)…IT DOES GET BETTER…even when it doesn’t go away.
What I’ve realized in my reflections is that it’s OK that we still have this in our lives. When Palmer was an infant, at least for the first few months, reflux almost became his (and in some ways our) complete identity. It was such a huge part of our lives that sometimes people would ask about Palmer’s reflux before they asked about him. It’s a bit sad to me to reflect on that, but it was the reality of our lives at that point. We still tried to not let it overshadow what an amazing kid he was even then. But it was an overwhelming reality of that period.
Next week he begins the 4th year of his life, and still he lives with reflux. We talk occasionally about trying to cut back to just tums & mylanta — getting off the prevacid — but he’s just not there yet. In fact he sometimes still needs a dose of mylanta during the day in addition to his prevacid. The positive thing is that he now can tell us when his chest hurts, as he knows when he’s refluxing. Even though he doesn’t say it that way (that he has reflux)…he tells us “my tummy hurting up to my chest.” It doesn’t happen often, but enough to know…
But reflux is not his identity, and in fact it’s not even really any part of his identity anymore. It’s just a tablet that he takes at night. These days major parts of his current identity are tied in to golf (Santa brought him a golf bag for Christmas to put his 3 clubs, his balls, tees, and tiny golf glove in), Pinky the teddy bear (children of some of our friends gave him a hot pink teddy bear on Christmas Eve and it hasn’t left his side since), and “Don’t Break the Ice” (which we’ve played about 100 times since Christmas morning). We’re fairly certain that he’s developing his first imaginary friend, which is a bit strange to us but understand is a great developmental stage. And he’s trying to ride his bike without the training wheels. So, yes Palmer still has reflux, but the reflux is not even close to who he is. Instead he’s our imaginative, athletic, creative, big boy. (Ok, he’s not really a big boy but ever since last summer, when he started wearing big boy underwear, he hates being called a baby or even a little boy).
Not that I ever would even think that reflux defines who he is. But my reflections on his upcoming birthday made me realize that a long time ago, in a far away world, for short blink of an eye, we let that happen…or at least thought that it might. It makes us a bit sad that he still has to deal with reflux, but that’s because as parents we just want to help him to always be healthy and happy. But we have to realize that he IS those things, reflux or not.
Here’s wishing you and your wonderful, beautiful babies and children the greatest happiness in the New Year!
Christine
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Seth just turned two and I have been feeling and thinking the same way but don’t think I could have expressed it quite so eloquently. 
