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I really do understand how you feel.
My dh didn’t want to hear it, and I didn’t have anyone else to talk to either, except friends with “normal” babies who rarely cried. Until I found this board,
which of course helped tremendously in giving me hope and helping me to see that I wasn’t alone in this nightmare.A reflux baby is a tremendous challenge. No one understands this unless they’ve been there. I’ve had two babies with reflux and it was hell on earth each time. Every morning I woke up and asked myself the same question, “How in the name of God am I going to do this again?” My friends and family tried to be sympathetic but they had no clue what my daily life was like. No one did. Just me, and God. And the wonderful moms on this board who probably helped save me from going insane.
Anyway, I don’t have a lot in the form of advice because like you said you’re doing seemingly everything you can. The only things I can think of that you may not have tried are:
-Zegerid instead of Prevacid. Some babies do better on one PPI over the other.
-Neocate. But I do understand your concern about it not working and having stopped nursing for nothing. I think it’s rare for a baby to not do well on Neocate though. But there is at least one baby on this board who could not tolerate it.
-A perfect Elimination Diet. I know you said you tried it, but did you do it for the whole two weeks and did you follow it perfectly?
I will pray for you and your little guy.
You all are so great!
Thank you so much for your encouragement. ndrose – this is my 3rd time to go through this!
I thought maybe I could have one baby without colic, but apparently not…I felt really selfish today, because I just cried and thought to myself, “Why can’t my baby be happy like other babies I see?” When I should just be thankful my baby doesn’t have a more serious problem that will never go away. It’s so hard to be going through this again. Our last biological child was born 10 years ago, so I had forgotten a lot of this (believe it or not).
Our only child that doesn’t have reflux is adopted! So, this definitely runs in our family. Our older two outgrew it pretty early (6 months), and I breastfed them the entire first year, so I don’t think weaning this one will necessarily be the answer. I just consider it sometimes out of sheer frustration not knowing what else to do and because I’m much busier this time around with 4 children. It really appears that our children are born with immature digestive systems or something. Anyway, thanks again to everyone for being so supportive and just being there.
ndrose – I REALLY appreciate your prayers and need them so much right now. Thanks so much!
Emily,
I found it to be extremely difficult too because my refluxers were my second and third children. And the were so close in age. It was hard to take care of the older ones because reflux babies are so difficult and it takes so much time and effort to take care of them.
I think we’ve all wished our reflux babies were the “normal” happy babies who only cry when they are hungry or tired. Don’t feel guilty about that. We all know (and God knows) that you love your baby more than anything in the world. You’re just tired.
One good thing that comes out of this reflux nightmare is that you really find out what you’re made of. If anyone would have told me that I’d have a baby who was up every 20 -60 minutes every night of her life, and that I’d have to pump breast milk for her 8-10 times a day because she’d quit nursing, while taking care of a toddler on my own with no help (I have no family around and dh was not helpful), I would have said that there was no way I could do that. But I did do it. It was a nightmare but both of my children got the best care any child could hope for and I’m proud of that.
And then two years later I had a worse situation. Another refluxer who refused to nurse so I was back to pumping 8-10 times a day for a baby who hated to eat. On top of that he puked up nearly everything he did eat. He was developing a feeding aversion and it would take an hour to feed him 3 ounces. Then he’d throw it all up. So I spent all day every day pumping, feeding, cleaning puke and trying desperately to take care of the other two. And again, I did it alone, and my children got excellent care (it nearly killed me, but they got what they needed).
Now when I look back on it I am amazed at my own capability to cope and manage and I’m proud of how well I took care of my children despite the very diffiuclt challenges.I’m sure you’re doing a great job and when this is all behind you, I know that you’ll be proud of your strength and the good mothering you provided your children under very difficult circumstances.
I’ll keep praying for Caden.
Thank you, Christine. You definitely had it harder than I do. My two oldest are much older and are able to help out around the house and with our daughter. The most difficult part for me is finding time for my 2 year old during the day since Caden needs so much attention.
I admire you for all you did while you were going through such a hard time. Caden hasn’t refused to nurse (thank goodness), but there are times when he is a very fussy nurser and pulls off a lot and cries, etc. I only hope he doesn’t get to the point where he won’t nurse at all, because he won’t take a bottle, so that would be really hard on all of us. Plus, I really believe nursing is the best thing and want to do my best to continue it for the entire first year just like I did with my older boys.
I’m also lucky that I do have family close by, and they offer to help, but they don’t really understand what I’m going through and so I’m not really able to talk to them about it.
Thank you for your post. It really puts things in perspective. You know when you’re in the middle of this you forget that things will get better and that this won’t last forever. I also tend to be really hard on myself (like all moms I think) and feel guilty that I can’t solve this completely for him. I’m just going to keep doing the best I can to make him comfortable and take good care of him (as well as my other kids) and I think I’ll come back to your post when I’m feeling down! It really brightened my day
Thanks to everyone else too! This really is a nice group of ladies.
One more thing…what do you all think of this? When Caden needs to have a bm, sometimes he gets really gassy and won’t go for 2-3 days and then when he goes, he cries before he goes sometimes (like it’s hard for him to go) but when he finally goes, it is a normal breastfed bm (not constipated). I know that can be normal for newborns, but by 3 months should that be clearing up? Does that sound like anything you all know of and if so, what could be causing it? Thanks
I’m glad I was able to help you feel a little bit better. This board saved me from losing my mind when I was in the thick of it, so it means a lot to me to help others who are going through the same thing.
The bm thing you describe could be a sign of DGE (delayed gastric emptying). Myles had dge and he would strain and strain to pass soft, normal looking stools. I guess it’s due to the lack of motility in the gi tract. Eventually Myles became constipated and we did have to give him some remedies to keep him regular, but as long as Caden’s stools are normal I think it’s probably fine for now. If they start to get very dry or hard you may need to add some natural remedies or meds to help prevent him from becoming consitpated.
Just so you know, Myles did outgrow his DGE shortly after he outgrew his reflux.
So this is another thing that will likely pass with time.Myles was on breast milk but one bottle of soy at bedtime from 2 months old until 9 months when I introduced good start, so no there was no formula change that caused the consitpation. It started out being an intermittent problem around 3 months of age and then progressed to being a chronic problem by 5 or 6 months of age.
I’m not sure about the eye watering. Is that he he’s wanting to cry but he soothes himself or is easily calmed and then doesn’t cry? ‘
As for gassiness at night it seems most of our refluxers have more problems at night with any digestive issue. Probably because they are less active and digestion slows down.
Alana seems to tear up a bit occasionally if she has a major regurg (she doesn’t seem in pain though). Kind of makes sense with the whole sinuses and everything connected with the throat.
I notice even know that occasionally Alana will wake at night- to let a nice big one go- and then go back to sleep- so it is possible that wind can cause night wakening just like reflux.
Also Alana only went once every three days- and was a bit of a strainer only to do LIQUID poos when she was only on Pepti Junior. Now she is doing solids x3daily she poos like a trooper- up to three times a day, with no trouble (OK she does look funny occasionally when she is squeezing them out- but not painful funny- ha ha funny
). Maybe it is something about the breast milk….not sure. Gee they are just toooooo hard to work out.I hope it helps to know other bubs do similar things- even if we can’t help with the answers
Thanks, Therese. Yes, it does help to know other “bubs” (that is so cute) have done the same thing even if there isn’t a definite answer to the problem. My pediatrician said I could start rice cereal at 4 months since he has reflux (even though they normally wait until 6 mo now), so I’m hoping that will make a difference with his bms. I seem to remember my other boys doing better once they started solids too. We have always had very large babies, so maybe they just need a little extra in their diets.
Have a great day
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