Am I mean?

[Anonymous]

Well this has nothing to do with reflux, but I thought that I’d see what the rest of you thought about this.

My dh came home today and told me that he had been doing a lot of work for one of the groups at the office, and now that the contract is done the boss wants to reward him for his hard work and a job well done- with a 5 day trip to Hawaii in March!! Then he said, but I guess I can’t go because how could I leave you alone to manage for 5 days. The thing was, he was obviously feeling me out when he said it. So I said, “Sure you can go, but coincidentally my boss told me that I get a 5 day trip to Mexico in March for all MY hard work taking care of Hailey”. He didn’t say anything. I really don’t want to be mean, but I don’t see how I can manage both of kids for 5 days, without any support from anyone and no help to speak of while Hailey is still like this… especially at a time when I have so many appointments for Hailey. Am I being really mean?

[Anonymous]

LORD NO you’re not being mean, you’re little ones are so close in age that it would deffinitly be hard to go it alone for 5 days (although you COULD do it!!! you’re always stronger than you think you are!!!) frankly I’d leave him with the girls alone overnight see how easy he thinks it it then ask him if he thinks it would be hard for you to go 5 days with no real support!!! If your older one was 4 or 5 it would be manageable but she’s so little too!!! Just gently let him know things like a trip to Hawaii should be saved for when the girls are much older and then the 2 of you can go together (even if the trip is free).

[Anonymous]

i’d be furious if my husband went on a trip to hawaii without me—-reflux or no reflux. what kind of boss gives an employee a trip without including his wife?????

[Anonymous]

kevieb wrote: what kind of boss gives an employee a trip without including his wife?????

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking when I read this. I’m appalled that his boss would even put you in this situation. I don’t think it’s mean to tell him no he can’t go if you really feel that way. It could be good if it will make him feel refreshed, but the being alone for 5 days thing is a little over the top. Pete’s going to be gone for one day over the weekend and I’m freaking out–and I only have one kid!

[Anonymous]

I completely agree with Christine! Hawaii without me? That is just crazy! Hardwork for a husband means that the wife had to endure a lot of extra work around the house since the husband was too busy at work! That trip should actually go to you, so you can get away and DH can step into your shoes, see how he manages 5 days alone with the kids!

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with everyone above – why would they offer him a trip
without you? I think that’s the mean part – not your reaction.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. Actually, his company always does this. They have celebration dinners, and holiday parties and they frequently have company-building gatherings away from home, and travel to do business as much as is possible- they never invite the wife. In all his time at this company, which has been about 5 years, I’ve never once been invited anywhere (and I know it’s not that my husband doesn’t want me there). He says that’s how they do things. In fact, once he told me that the people who work there said that the favourite part of this company is all the special events that they plan for them…yah, no kidding I thought- I’d love it to if I got so many opportunities for time to myself.

[Anonymous]

Good response, Lori. How did he react to the Mexico thing? I wish I was that quick on my feet!

I agree with the others, if you are not included, then he shouldn’t even consider it, nevermind that you have two young children and it would be impossible to go!

I’d bet his boss is divorced!

[Anonymous]

Ann Marie, funny because you’re right- I don’t know if he’s divorced, but he’s not married. My husband said this morning that of course he couldn’t go, and even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to have a good time. I said “Yah, I guess you’d be worried about the kids”. He said, “Yah, but I’d also be scared of your wrath when I got home”.

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone else. If you arent able to go to Hawaii with him, then he shouldnt go either. I think you should tell him how you really feel and explain why you would prefer he not go. I’m sure he’ll understand how hard it will be for you to stay at home alone taking care of two small children. Free trip or not, I think he should post pone until you both can go together.

[Anonymous]

Can’t they reward him with cash? I bet you could BOTH enjoy the cash that it would take for the company to pay for the trip.

[Anonymous]

Am at a loss for words, I can’t believe he’d even consider going to Hawaii and leaving you home with the kids! You outta just dump the kids with granparents or friends and buy a ticket and go with him…..If he goes alone, I’d change the locks! LOL!!!

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