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I thought this was funny… and true!
BIRTH
ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st
baby: You begin
wearing maternity
clothes as soon as your OBGYN confirms your pregnancy2nd
baby: You wear your
regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd
baby: Your maternity
clothes ARE your regular clothes._____________________________________________________
Preparing for the
Birth:
1st
baby: You practice
your breathing religiously.
2nd
baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing
didn’t’ t do a thing
3rd
baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month______________________________________________________
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s
clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little
bureau.
2nd baby: You
check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the
darkest stains.
3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can’t they?______________________________________________________
Worries:
1st
baby: At the first
sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her
wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old
how to rewind the mechanical swing______________________________________________________
Pacifier:
1st
baby: If the pacifier
falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home andwash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the
pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s
bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe
it off on your shirt and pop it back in.______________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st
baby: You change your
baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every
two to three hours, if needed.3rd
baby: You try to
change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see
it sagging to their knees.______________________________________________________
Activities:
1st
baby: You take your
infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby
Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You
take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.______________________________________________________
Going Out:
1st
baby: The first time
you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the
door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for
the sitter to call only if she sees blood.______________________________________________________
At Home:
1st
baby: You spend a
good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday
watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the
baby.3rd
baby: You spend a
little bit of every day hiding from the children.______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a
favorite):
1st
child: When first child
swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second
child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a
coin you deduct it from his allowance!______________________________________________________
So true!O-M-G that was HILARIOUS and so true. I read it nodding so hard and laughing. Thank you!
SO TRUE!! Although, I only have two and can say that I’ve already adopted a few of the “third child” behaviours.
I definitely fall more in the third child category than second. Very funny!
HYSTERICAL! I actually fell in the “3rd child” category in a few! Oooops and I’ve only got one!!!
You mean their diapers aren’t SUPPOSED to sag to their knees??? 
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