Cry it out????

[Anonymous]

I know this is a highly controversial subject but here’s my situation…

Sarah was ONLY able to fall asleep TIGHTLY swaddled and bounced before her reflux was under control (we started Zegerid a month ago with great results). Things got easier once the Zegerid kicked in…she still had to be swaddled but she didn’t SCREAM herself to sleep like she used to. She also still slept in her swing (not moving) b/c the elevation helped her. We were ECSTATIC that we could just put her down in the swing, swaddled and she would fall alseep on her own. That was a HUGE step for her.

She started daycare about two weeks after we started on Zegerid. Because the sitter has several other kids to worry about, she immediately started Sarah on a routine of sleeping in a motionless swing UNSWADDLED. Initially I was shocked and in disbelief that Sarah could sleep so well at daycare unswaddled. WHY couldn’t she also do it at home? We attempted a few times (every once in a while) to get her to do the same at home and after 10-20 minutes of crying we would go rescue her and swaddle her…she’d fall asleep almost immediately. SOOOO, she’s NEVER slept swaddled since she’s been at daycare (about 4 weeks now) Well, this week the sitter decided to try her FLAT in a crib since she was doing so well in the swing. Wouldn’t you know that she was able to fall sleep NO PROBLEM this way. MAYBE 5 minutes of crying, tops.

I was frustrated, sad and disappointed that she could do SO great sleeping at daycare but she couldn’t do it at home. WHY WHY WHY! The sitter kept telling me that her kids were the same way and they would sleep great at daycare too…but not at home. I don’t understand why it HAS to be that way so I decided I was going to let her cry it out at home IN THE CRIB, UNSWADDLED and FORCE her to start doing the same things at home that she does at daycare. I tried, half-heartedly last week a few times but would give in after 10-20 minutes. Tonight I decided I was going to be vigilant. I laid her in her crib an HOUR ago and she is STILL crying!! How long am I supposed to do this??? She has PROVEN she can sleep this way at daycare so is it REALLY torture for me to get her to do the same at home? Am I REALLY asking too much? Am I REALLY using too many capital letters? LOL…back to seriousness…

How long do I do this? Anyone else who has let their babies cry it out…how many days before they “learned”?

WAIT…the crying has stopped. I better go check on her…..Nope, still awake and now she’s crying again b/c she saw me. DOH!

It is so hard for me to be back at work to begin with. I have very few precious hours with her in the evening as it is…I don’t want to spend this time listening to her scream. She’s now an hour overdue for her regular nap so the rest of the night will be off.

I want so badly to GIVE IN and RESCUE her…but if I want her to LEARN how to fall asleep on her own…I feel like I MUST do this!

I have been on the phone most of the past hour and how I’m keeping myself busy typing this loooooooooooooooong (sorry) post so that I won’t be tempted to run in and get her. My friend is convinced that if I “rescue” her then she’ll know she only has to cry for x number of minutes before I come in.

Grrrrr, can you sense the desparation?

HELP! Any advice, personal stories, encouragment would be great!!!
Amy

[Anonymous]

Update: One hour and 15 minutes of crying. I haven’t heard her cry in 3+ minutes so I’m going to ASSUME she is finally asleep. I don’t want to check on her and have her see me if she’s not sleeping. *sigh*

Update #2: It has now been almost 2 hours and I haven’t heard her since the last update. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to go wake her up soon to start the bedtime routine! How silly is that?? Typically around 7:30 we do a bath, playtime, bottle then bed………..This is so hard!

She takes all of her naps at daycare unswaddled and now I’m trying to get her to do the evening nap the same way, but I plan to swaddle her still tonight. Is that dumb to start slow? I figure if I can get her to take ALL of her naps unswaddled then I’ll gradually try to do the same at night??

Ho hum…DH is home now so at least I have some back-up!

amy00132006-9-26 20:12:29

[Anonymous]

Sorry. I’m laughing because I’ve done that; typed frantically at the computer listening to baby cry and desperately hoping they’ll fall asleep.

I guess when I first started weaning Eliana from swaddling what I did was swaddle just one arm for a few naps and nights, and then when she got used to that I would just swaddle her other arm more loosely for a few naps and nights and then finally when that went well for a while I started putting her down unswaddled.

I can definitely understand you wanting her to do for you what she does in daycare, and I think if you work on it you will get there. But try not to be too stressed about it. It’s very common for babies to behave better and be more cooperative and less needy with other caregivers. I used to be a nanny and I worked in daycare so I heard this all the time from the parents. Even my own son behaves so much better with his daddy. When I go out (which isn’t often enough) he rarely cries and he is happy as a clam. As soon as I get home he dissolves into a needy, clingy, mommy’s boy! I know it’s normal so it doesn’t bother me too much but I often think I should just go out more.

White noise is sometimes a terrific aid in helping babies sleep. I have white noise machines in all my kids’ rooms and I think it really helps.

Well, good luck and keep us posted on her progress.

[Anonymous]

I may sound totally cruel but Abby was only 2 months old when we taught her to sleep by herself by using cry it out. We knew her reflux was under control so we thought, why not give it a try. She was only waking up once during the night and didn’t want to drink when she woke up so we tried it. When she woke up crying, we would set the alarm for 15 minutes, turn down the monitor so we could just barely hear her (one parent would put in ear plugs) and wait. If she didn’t stop after 15 minutes, we would go to her, talk quietly to her but not pick her up. We also would try soft music which really seemed to work well. After another 15 minutes, we would do basically the same thing. We did this for about 3 nights and wahlah – sleeping through the night. Of course, we have had a couple of nights in between where she woke up a couple of times, but for the most part, it has worked great.

I really think it is important that you know the reflux is controlled before using CIO but I guess I am a believer. Our first daughter was such a good sleeper once her reflux was controlled, we never had to use it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!!

Robin

[Anonymous]

Hope it works for you. I must have the only kid who sleeps no better at daycare then at home…

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for your replies. I do think that Sarah’s reflux is under control and I’ve made sure all her other needs have been met so I know that her only fuss is being tired.

I woke Sarah up around 8. She looked SOOOOO adorable sleeping in her crib like a normal baby! I have watched her sleep in a swaddle (aka – straight jacket) for so long…it was amazing to see her sleeping NORMALLY. She was still so tired when I woke her up that she LET me cradle her in the rocker forever! I talked to her about why I let her CIO and she seemed to forgive me. Within 5 minutes she PEACEFULLY drifted off to sleep in my arms. FIRST TIME EVER!!! No bottle, no swaddle, no crying…amazing! Don’t worry, we had the digital camera, video camera and any other form of documentation you can think of you capture the moment. LOL!

So in my moment of crazy bliss, I decided to put her BACK in the crib UNswaddled for the rest of the night. I might regret that ALL NIGHT LONG…but I HAVE TO TRY! I turned on her mobile and haven’t heard her since. Not sure if she’s fallen asleep yet…and I’m not sure if she’ll be able to sleep through the WHOLE night that way…but I’m hopeful. What a HAPPY ending to a HORRIBLE evening!

Wish us luck and I’ll post in the morning to let you know how it went!
Amy

[Anonymous]

Hi Amy,
Good luck with everything! We tried the cio with Isaac, and it only took about 3 nights until he was sleeping through the night. My husband would go in every 15 min. and reasure him, but not pick him up, then go back out. (It didn’t work when I did it).

[Anonymous]

Good luck – we did the CIO for naps and for first falling asleep at night. It worked well after maybe 3 days. You have to be consistent and have a routine and always put them down at the same time… and they always said not to let them cry for more than 1 hour for a nap?? I would recommend the weissbluth book if things do not work out. good reading although it is a bit all over the place in my opinoin. Oh and we never did the extintion (ie not comfort them) method. we did the gradual approach because it worked better for Matthew’s temperament

[Anonymous]

I am SO thrilled to report that Sarah slept UNSWADDLED ALL NIGHT in her crib last night! WOO HOO!!! I am still shocked and in disbelief. She did great again at daycare with her naps and fell asleep after LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES of fussing tonight for her evening nap! I am so thrilled! That is such a huge difference from her 1.5 hours of crying last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of her and proud of myself for sticking it out last night even though it was the hardest “mommy moment” I’ve had yet. Wanted to share the great news and I hope it continues! I’M SO PROUD OF HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for all your support. It really made all the difference!
Amy

[Anonymous]

YIPPEE!!!

Good job Sarah.

[Anonymous]

You did good, I dont think I could have done it. Good mommy. THey can only stay swaddled for so long, we stopped at 2 and half months when she kept unswaddling herself with them wild legs.

[Anonymous]

LOL! All my friends joked that she would go off to college still in her swaddle blanket. I knew we had to get rid of it sooner or later! It’s just unbelievable! I still lay the blanket on top of her so she can grab it and play with it. I guess it’s more like her “security blanket” now. I know that’s a SIDS no-no…but it works.

I am speechless really about the whole thing. I just keep shaking my head in disbelief that MY daughter was able to accomplish so much! This sleeping thing is just HUGE!

For the first time (hate to admit) I now have those overwhelming, wonderful, proud, joyous feelings that mommies talk about all the time. Don’t get me wrong… I have loved Sarah from the beginning, but dealing with reflux and sleep issues definitely made things very trying at times!!! Thanks to this site, I can ADMIT that! So many of my friends with “perfect” babies just don’t understand and I always felt guilty for feeling so overwhelmed with Sarah. NOT ANYMORE! I want to tell the WORLD about my wonderful little gal!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…Thank you ZEGERID! Without finding this site and getting her on that medicine we’d still be miserable! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Enough bragging! I’m off to grade papers!
Amy

[Anonymous]

I remember feeling exactly how you feel. Good for you and Sarah!! Here’s to many more sleep-filled nights!! Brag away!!!!!!! You deserve it!!

Robin

[Author]

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