crying when dropped off at daycare

[Anonymous]

Seth has been crying every morning when I drop him off at daycare. At first, I thought it was the new teacher but then an old teacher that he loved subbed in there and he did the same thing and then I thought maybe it was because he was not feeling well for a while with his ears but now that has been resolved as well. To make matters worse, he moved up to another room today with yet another teacher (his whole class moved). He seemed excited about it (I had been showing him the ‘big boy’ room every morning for the past few weeks and talking it up) but today, when we got there he started in “no school, mommy, please”. He even tried to keep me from unbuckling him when we got in and when he finally did get out of the car, he tried to run off in the parking lot! I know there will be some adjustment with the new room but as I said, this has been going on for weeks and weeks now. I don’t think it is the school itself since he seems ok when I pick him up (but should I be concerned about the school at this point??) Could it be separation anxiety? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Dylan on and off does this as well. do you call periodically throughout the day and check on him? I used to call once a day for DYlan right after lunch when the kids were napping and check in. Is there a window you can peak through to see after you leave if it is just for your benefit? I think I would probably just pop in early, or take a half day and not tell the daycare, so you can drop in at a very unexpected time to see how Seth is when you get there. Is he happy when you pick him up, or not? I think I would think it is a normal phase (as Dylan at 4 and a half threw a fit about getting on the bus for school today, but loves it there). I am curious what other’s think…..

[Anonymous]

Awww…Tiffany, I have no advice (since I haven’t dealt with that yet) but I definitely know what you must be going through. I think I’ll be worse than Ariella when it’s time for her to go to day care. *sigh* not looking forward to it. I hope he does better soon.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if it is an age thing. My friend’s twin boys for the past few months have been doing the same thing. They have been going to the same babysitter every day since they have been born and they are about the same age as Seth their birthdate is 8/22/04. They too have been crying and screaming, and not wanting to go, but by the time they are picked up they are fine, then the next day the same routine. She thinks it is because they do so much over the weekends when mommy and daddy are home, going out shopping, friend’s homes etc… they think everyday should be like that and do not want to be left at the baby sitter, they do not understand that mommy and daddy are going to work not going out shopping/playing without them. Sorry no advice…just wanted to question what’s going on myself since my friend too is at a loss.

[Anonymous]

Sarah goes through phases like that too. It’s hard, but I’m probably a bad mom, because I drop her off screaming and crying- I give her a kiss and a hug, tell her to have a good day. Then I leave and try to brush it off. I usually ask the teachers what she like during the day, and they assure me that she’s fine and doesn’t cry much after I leave. I figure that there’s nothing I can do about, so I try not to think about it once I’m gone, though it does make me feel bad while it’s happening. It also makes the morning routine take that much longer. I don’t know what to suggest. When you talk to him about it at home, what does he say? Again, no advice… just symptahy and hugs. I hope it passes soon.

[Anonymous]

Lori, you are not a bad mom!!! That is what all the research says to do. It says to stay strong, not prolong the goodbye and stay consistant! That is exactly what we did, too, so if you are a bad mom, I am right there with you!

[Anonymous]

I got to witness this behavior for the first time last Friday…but thankfully it wasn’t with my child. A little girl who only comes to daycare on Fridays was being dropped off at the same time as we got there. I was so heartbroken to see her break down when she realized her mommy was leaving. She is the same age as Sarah. It made me thankful that we haven’t had to go through that (yet). I almost cried and it wasn’t even MY child! I have complete and total sympathy for you because I understand how hard that must be. I think if he is happy when you pick him up that chances are it is just a phase he is going through. I agree with others too, if possible try to “pop in” at daycare and see what’s going on. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Kaelyn went through a stretch of this a few months ago. It lasted for a couple of months (but she wasn’t at daycare for a month in the middle of it) and now she’s fine again. Hopefully, this will pass for Seth as well. She was always really happy and having a great time when we’d pick her up, so I didn’t worry about it too much.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone, hopefully it is an age thing. Just to update, he was more than fine yesterday when I picked him up, he didn’t want to leave because he was having so much fun with the new toys and then another mom came in when I was there and her DS keep playing too so that made me feel good. He did have a night terror early this AM so I am wondering if he got a little overstimulated but thank goodness, he went in the room this morning and just called out to me when I left but no hysterics like yesterday (I had half decided I was turning in my resignation if we had another day like yesterday!!). He was talking on the way to school about spinning (they have sit n spins in there!).

I have always heard too it is best to drop them and leave unless you are prepared to stay or take them with you and that is hard for me but I am working on it.

I am on the premises with him so I think I will peek in a time or two this week especially since he has a new teacher.

Had to laugh at the post about maybe he thinks we are out having fun without him! I can totally see him thinking like that. I told DH and he said, if he only knew, like sitting in Atlanta traffic for 1+ hours is fun!! So, I did make a point to tell him today that mommy and daddy were going to work while he was at school.

Mom2Seth2007-10-02 10:58:10

[Anonymous]

Glad to hear that things were better today. For some reason Hailey’s crying and not wanting to go pulls at my heartstrings more than when Sarah does it, so I can imagine how you feel. I react the same way to both of them overtly, but inside it breaks my heart when Hailey cries. I’m not sure if deep down everything she’s gone though makes me feel worse. Anyhow, glad it was a better day.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, Lori. I know what you mean. The thought is always in the back of my mind that maybe he does that because he is hurting or something with the reflux or maybe he starts to feel bad there and wants us. I hope we both come to a time soon where we don’t have to worry about it!!

[Author]

Posts