Daycare Issue

[Anonymous]

Ok, I have another daycare issue and I am trying to find out if I am overreacting. Basically, the story is Seth has a new afternoon teacher and when I picked him up yesterday he was sitting in the middle of the room by himself crying (very unlike him). The teacher seemed zoned out and was doing nothing to comfort him and when I asked what was wrong, she said he was playing with a couple of other kids and must have got upset. Then, she tells me he was just changed and that she had set him on the potty because that’s what they did with the kids his age at the center she came from! Well, I was furious then because we have not started potty training at all and I feel like this is something that should be consulted with us first. He’s not even two yet! So, I am wondering if that’s what really upset him. Who knows? I am also mad because it was her first day and she was in there with the kids alone. I told the director that I was not comfortable with that and she tells me they ask them questions in the interview to make sure they are good with kids, etc. and this morning I had an e-mail from her noting their hiring process which includes making sure they have three good references, pass a background check and can satisfactorily answer questions determining personality, etc provided by the state. What do ya’ll think? I am calmer today but I was so mad yesterday, I even stopped by and toured a new center on the way home. Do your centers make sure the parent’s are on board first with major transitional things like potty training?

[Anonymous]

Tiffany, I don’t think you’re overreacting at all! I’d also be really mad!!!

First of all, if a child is sitting in the middle of the room crying, I would expect that the teacher would at least know why, or try to find out what happened and comfort the child. Second, there is no way that a school should start potty training without talking to the parents first. It can be very confusing for the children.

At our centre, we are notified in advance of any staffing changes that are going to be made, including teachers moving from room to room, and new hires. They usually tell us where the new staff member came from and how much experience they have.

As for leaving them alone with the kids, once they’re hired at our daycare they’re allowed to be left alone with the kids, but it always has to be within the allowed ratios, and generally they don’t leave them to do anything challenging or that would require extra training.

I hope you can sort things out.

[Anonymous]

I agree with Lori. They should NOT start potty training without consulting you. And I don’t like the way she reacted to your questions about what was bothering Seth. I also don’t like the Director’s reaction. She seemed to give you the royal brush off. I don’t care what her hiring practices are, or how many references the person has, or how well they did on their interview, if a parent is uncomfortable with a particular caregiver, the director needs to look into it.

If at all possible with your job, I’d pop in unannounced from time to time for while to see how things are going.

I hope it was just a first day fluke and she’s going to work out fine and be a good caregiver, but definitely go with your instincts and keep an eye on things.

[Anonymous]

She sat a child who’s not 2 yet on the potty??? ok idiot, that’s just idiotic, not to mention the disrespect of doing it without talking to you. Aidan’s not in daycare but I would have been livid!!! I agree with Christine, pop in once in a while if you can!!!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she may have been covering her you know what! Hmm… Playing with a couple of kids that are now no longer near him and she’s done nothing to intervene or try and help the children all play together appropriately! Sounds kinda fishy. Maybe she wasn’t paying attention and then thought she could just soothe you with a few simple possibilities? I’d definetly do a pop-in if possible or maybe an extended family member might be able to? Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

I certainly don’t think you are overreacting. Children are precious and day care centres have a responsibility to treat them as such. Thinking about it, whenever I care for someone elses child, even babysitting, I make an even bigger effort to make this experience positive and pleasurable, because it is someone elses child and I want to live by the maxum “do no harm”. I guess like you I thought that was day cares job to.

I wonder why they would even consider commencing such an important thing as toilet training with no communication with you…this is one of the most important developmental tasks of early childhood- as they should know- and bad experiences now can make things very difficult. Perhaps you could point this out to them!

It is so hard to hand their care over…I am preparing to do this in about 8 weeks time… it is hard enough without having to question the standard of care children are recieving.

I just read over this and I think I am as mad as you were. Maybe its because I am freaking out about Alana going into care!!!

Perhaps for perspective, there was a story in Aus a couple of weeks ago about a child care centre that was inspected after a complaint from work experience student- they found the babies in the nursery with their ankles tied together in their cots!

[Anonymous]

I was so upset when I read this that I couldn’t find the words to write what I wanted to say. There are major flags being put up and I pray that you see them. First she doesn’t know whats wrong then he was playing with others and might have got upset and then she put him on the toilet and that might be it. First of all I have three boys and never were they even started training until after two. They need to verbalize much better before they can even tell you that they need to go to the bathroom. I have seen some trained before two but not many. Second what in the world is this daycare doing allowing a new employee to watch children on her own. Third why wasn’t she consoling(sp?) your son when he was crying? Just reading your post made me feel ill. I think you really need to check into this. I might be overreacting but this just doesn’t sound right to me. I am so sorry I hope you find some answers.

[Anonymous]

Thanks guys. I am still pretty upset about it and Dh is furious and pretty much threatened to report them to the state. It has turned in to a very awkward situation as I am employed by the same organization that runs the daycare so the directors are coworkers so to speak (I’m the accountant for the church) and we all report to the same person.

The good news is I am on the premises and have made a few “pop in” visits and so far he is fine when I do. My husband has demanded a letter from them detailing exactly what happened that day which they are supposed to give me today and we will have a conference next week. We have decided after we meet with them and outline our expectations, we will continue to monitor the situation for a couple of more weeks and if we still feel uneasy, we will look into some alternatives. We really don’t want it to come to that though because Seth really loves it down there and I feel it is a real asset to have him on the premises but on the other hand we simply can not let them to continue with practices we find unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Lots of daycares switch teachers without notice, so while that’s annoying, in your situation I’d let that one go. I am surprised that they left her alone with his class on her first day though.

However, I would be really upset about the fact that he was sitting in the middle of the room crying and she wasn’t even a little concerned by it. She should have been at least trying to figure out what was going on and trying to comfort him.

[Anonymous]

Good luck Tiffany. I hope it all works out and he can stay there, but it’s certainly wise of you to keep an eye on things.

[Anonymous]

i haven’t been on the computer in a few days and just read this post. i had somewhat of a similar experience at my son’s daycare, although it did not involve potty training. my son who was 4 at the time and going to be graduating to kindergarden brought in a bunch of stickers to share with the teachers and his classmates. they were reward stickers, ect… well i was on my way to work and prego at the same time. my son was so excited about sharing his stickers….. well when we got there the teacher said absolutley not i had to bring the stickers home…. i looked at my son and i could hear his little heart breaking. he started balling and the teacher just walked away. well after much consoling on my part i left the daycare to go to work and started balling myself… how could a grown up treat a little kid like that. needless to say my dh, myself and his aunt all reported the teacher. they were very apologetic and she kissed our ass for the rest of the year. anyhow, the way that the teacher handlded the situationn was innnapropriat. she was reprimanded(i think)

i would deff set some ground rules regarding youre wishes about youre child. nothing against daycares but alot of them are underpaid and overworked… but if they can’t handle it then they should go work some where else. we dont’ need them around our kids

good luck and stick to youre guns

gracegirl2006-11-9 20:53:46

[Anonymous]

just wanted to add a little note about something that had happen to someone that i know…. like i said i have nothing against daycare (except there outrageous price) but i had a patient whose great granduaghter was killed in her daycare by one of the workers. apparently the worker had went to the head and said that he was having a bad day, well needless to say they made him stay and he ended up backhanding a little baby into the wall…… i know i sound like debbie downer but if you have a gut instinct about something then deff follow it

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