desperate for depression help

[Anonymous]

i had a total nervous breakdown 20 years ago. it was a struggle to come out of it and find a new normal—yet 2 years later, after i had my twins, i felt like i was more on top of things than i had ever been.

i have been up and down so much over the years and tried so many different medications.

i think that in the last year and a half i have been the closest to a breakdown again than i have been in the last 20 years. i spend so much time crying—-and sometimes i don’t even know why.

i am tired of the constant pain and wish kevin understood what i feel like. i wish he could spend a few days inside my body—especially when the whether is changing—so he could have some kind of idea of what it is like to not feel good inside your own skin—-but he would also have to have all the little demands on him that i have, too, or he would never get it. all he has to do is get up in the morning and go to work and come home. i know he works hard and he hurts sometimes—but the things he has to wrap his mind around and keep track of are really minimal compared to what a mom has to keep track of. i have no idea how some of you are able to do all of this AND work outside the home—you must really be something!!!!

[Anonymous]

First, I have to say, most of us don’t have 9 to keep track of!!!!! I work full time but from home, but in some ways it is a nice distraction from the home stresses.

I have not had an official breakdown, (although I think I have been close at times) but can relate to having our husbands not always get it. It is hard to not resent the fact that we (the moms) do have so much more to think about, plan for, set up appointments, pay the bills, keep the house in order, are the kids clothes ready for the next day, is the homework done, is all the drop off/pick up stuff in order, etc, etc, etc, …… I was planning on cleaning the windows and screens this weekend, and I was washing doors the other day and David said “I would have never thought to wash down the doors”. WHAT? NEVER? I hear ya there! I just try to keep perspective that the time our boys are young is a very short amount of time in our lives together, and eventually some of these worries/issues, will fade soon enough.

I have had a few more ups and downs more recently than normal. Do you have a place to go to vent? I just started seeing someone near my home as it is covered by my insurance, but even without insurance there are a lot around here with sliding fees and you only pay a minimal amount if anything at all. It does really help to have somewhere safe to go to vent and also for some advice. Sometimes, I look at this woman and think “you have NO idea” but often times when I leave and just ponder, she is right on the money. I have to say between that and the chiropracter I have found (NO cracking bending, adjusting, only soft touch etc…) I have felt physically better and less tired than I have in years.

I am not sure I have any good advice but am here in case you need someone to listen. It has got to be a world of emotion as well with a daughter just having gotten married, etc… make sure you cut yourself som slack and don’t expect the world of yourself. You are only one person and you have a lot going on, so hopefully you can give yourself a bit of a break! We all do the best we can.

Ann Marie

[Anonymous]

Hi Christine… HUGS to you! I agree with Ann Marie that talking maybe just the thing you need as long as you can find someone you feel 100% comfortable with. Depression runs in my family (both my mom and my brother and they have both contemplated taking their lives) and I am so afraid that at times I am sinking as well! The Chiropractor might not be a bad idea either as sometimes getting your body back together can do a world for the brain as well. If you would like you can pm with all the depression meds you have tried and doses (if you can remember) and I can have dh (the pharmacist) look at them and see if he has any other suggestions? I am not a big fan of herbal things but have you tried St John’s Wart? It is supposed to be wonderful and pretty low on the side effects? HTH HUGS again!!

[Anonymous]

Ann Marie had to laugh at Davids comments about the doors and windows! Such a man thing! I once was wiping the door handles off with clorox wipes and my husband said “why are you doing that, do you do that all the time?” You just have to sigh and move on!

I have nothing more to add other than yes, there really is no way to understand all that a woman does unless you do it yourself. I have met ONE couple in my life that I think they both understand it b/c they truely seem to live a 50/50 life and the have 3 kids under 10 y/o– they truely amaze me.

You do need to find someone who understands you counselor/friend and I know this has been going on for years so you probably have exhausted a lot of resources. Keep your head up adn keep us posted!

[Anonymous]

I agree that finding someone to talk to that you can trust is a great idea! I think just being able to talk about anything and everything with someone is wonderful for mental health. I will be praying for you.

[Anonymous]

I had a really bad break down a few years ago and i went to talk to my pastor for some help. Turns out they have a ministries to help people in situations like mine.

Maybe you can find something similar or a close friend to discuss your feelings with. I know staying at home all the time did not help me much. Having girls night out helped at times.

Big hugs!

[Author]

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