feel like a bad Mom

[Anonymous]

My 2 girls were born at 30 weeks. Which in itself makes me feel guilty because I know they might not have issues with food/reflux if they were born more full term.

They just both seem uncomfortable all the time which decreases their sleep and makes them crabby. I just want them to have happy comfortable times. I hate watching my one daughter arch her back and squirm so much that I cannot hold her after a feed. I read a lot of posts and thought that prevacid would help her but now she has been on it for 10 days (with Zantac) and I still don’t see much improvement. And now my other daughter seems to be having some issues. I just feel so hopeless. I know that my girls were only born 4 months ago (2 months adjusted) and many of you have gone through this much longer but how do you get through it

[Anonymous]

(((HUGS))) I have SO been there but only with one at a time~ First, you are NOT a bad mom and have nothing to feel guilty about! Of course you would have loved to make it to full term, it was just not meant to be as I have had 2 preemies, and I too, felt some guilt, but it was totally out of my control, and I am sure it was out of yours, too. You can’t feel guilty for anything you didn’t intend, so time to forgive yourself there!!!

I remember them being really uncomfortable. How long have they been on the Alimentum? Both of my preemies needed to move to Neocate (an amino acid based formula) which has no milk proteins at all. The Alimentum still has the proteins even though they are very broken down, they are still there, and my boys’ tummies were way to immature to handle Nutramigen (similar to Alimentum) but when we went to Neocate, their tummies took approx 2 weeks (full two weeks for Dylan, only about 1 for Carter) and they really did so much better! I would ask your Dr about trying this.

Also, what form of Prevacid? Some are harder on their tummies than others. My boys, neither of them, could handle the solutabs for whatever reason, but others have had a lot of luck with them, so that might not be the issue. Also, I know they have been on for 10 days, but that sometimes can also take a good two weeks for them to feel better.

Hang in there! Preemies can be very tough! I had some very bad days that I spent in tears with each of mine and they were only one at a time, so two has to be at least twice as hard! You are doing great! I don’t visit this site very much anymore but will look to see if there is anything at all I can help you with!!! ((HUGS))

monty1232010-08-17 20:59:23

[Anonymous]

Don’t feel bad- you are definitely NOT a bad mom! Don’t think that, and don’t let anyone who has never been in your shoes make you feel otherwise! One thing I realized is that sometimes well meaning outsiders give us advice on things that they know nothing about. Having twins is a challenge that I can’t imagine, have one preemie is a challenge that I can’t imagine, and having one refluxer is hard enough. Having two is that much harder, so give yourself a break. The first few months with even a non-refluxer can be so hard. I remember the first few months when my first dd was born, I thought, what the heck did I do!! And she didn’t have reflux. With my second, who had reflux and was miserable, I had some pretty bad thoughts… let’s just leave it at that. I didn’t think that I’d make it. But it will get better. Surround yourself with people who can help you so that you can get a break. The good thing is that it may just be due to an immature LES (throat muscle), which goes away during the first year. In any case, like Ann Marie said, come here when you need support. This site truly saved me from I’m certain would otherwise have been sure insanity. Hang in there!!! HUGS!

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much

[Author]

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