Finally giving in

[Anonymous]

ok, I am finally just giving in to what the dr’s say. Aidan has been eating much better on the lacto-free formula, but I have no idea how much (how many oz) he actually eats. I stopped counting them about a week or so ago. All I know is somedays I have tons of empty bottles some days only a few, but I finally realized that he is happy, and me obsessing over how much he was or was not eating was making everyone nuts. Not to mention I was not enjoying the beautiful little boy I have. Yes, I have to hold him thrugh every single naptime, sometimes for 2 hours, but I don’t mind, in fact I LOVE IT!! because I know that all too soon he won’t want to even hug me (like my 6 year old). His reflux has not gotten any better or worse, but the prevacid seems to keep it at a steady level of “annoying” rather than painful. Now I have the attitude of , hey if he’s hungry he’ll eat, if not, he won’t..which I flipped out on the dr’s for saying not to long ago…I just had a “lightbulb” moment where I said ok, so he has reflux…..so he might always have it….but in the grand scheme of things if this is all he ever has to deal with, then I will consider myself blessed. (I know easier for me to think that way than some whose little ones have severe reflux).

[Anonymous]

Hurray for you and Aidan! You are brave; not only to “give in” so to speak, but to post about it.

A few weeks ago I had a moment like this, too. It wasn’t a lightbulb moment for me, though. Myles was at the worst with his reflux. I was spending what seemed like entire days just trying to get him to eat. I would try for up to an hour with the bottle, and if that didn’t work move on to spoon feeding cereal. A few times I even resorted to using a syringe. I was miserable and so was he. I finally came to a point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. I told myself that I was going to quit worrying about how much he ate and just see what happens. I was so frustrated and stressed that I thought if he lost weight and ended up in the hospital or with a feeding tube, it’d be better than what we were doing.

For the first few weeks (despite feeling better on Prevacid) he only ate about 15 ounces a day. Some days even less. I was worried and I couldn’t understand how he was thriving on so little food, but he was. I even posted about it (How can 15 ounces be enough?) and others posted that their children thrived on that little food, too. That made me feel better, but I still worried. Despite worrying, I just let him decide how much he was going to eat. It felt so d*mn good to not be obssessing over ounces of milk anymore!!!

Now, several weeks later Myles is up to about 19-21 ounces per day and is he eating small amounts of solids in between. Of course, like you said, the prevacid helps alot, but I think giving in and letting him take charge of how much he eats really helped.

I, too realize that many people out there have it worse with severe reflux and feeding aversions, so this may not help them (sorry) but it could be helpful many moms who have babies similar to Myles and Aidan. I hope so.

[Anonymous]

Jill,

It is a bittersweet moment to have that realization, but you are right, it really does relieve a lot of the pressure. I, too, had the realization yesterday. We had three great days in a row over the weekend and I thought we had it figured out, then, all of a sudden on Sunday, his reflux symptoms came back with a vengeance and it is so demoralizing you just want to cry. Somehow yesterday I finally came to the conclusion that yes, he has reflux, yes, we are doing everything in our power to make it as comfortable as possible for him, and yes, he is an amazing baby who will melt your heart when he smiles at you when you walk in to the room. I decided to focus on that and enjoy this time that I have with this incredible little man who has some special needs right now.

By the way, he sleeps on my chest too, but now only at night. We have found some relief in the swing (if you let a blanket drape on the floor, the swing will only move a little bit, just enough to console them, but not enough to get their stomach contents up in to their esophagus ). Just know there are a lot of us out here that are in your shoes. Thank you for sharing!

[Anonymous]

yep, I realized I was making everything about his reflux..every time he sneezed it “must be his reflux” I finally realized sheesh maybe the kid has just gotten a cold. I dragged him to a ped gi for no reason, and am glad she never suggested testing b/c I would have put my happy litle guy through a barrage of tests just to conclude that ( MAJOR DUH) he has relfux and slow motility, but that’s not really that big of a deal as long as the meds keep the reflux at bay and as far as the slow motility goes, well whatever so his tummy empties slower and he eats less, he’s healthy and that’s all I care about why put him on meds just so he can eat more? if he’s happy now?

[Anonymous]

This site has helped me come to terms with my son’s reflux. Before I found it I was waiting for the miracle cure or the magic age that would make it all go away. Whenever we tried something new I would be back at the Dr’s office in a matter of days telling him it did not work.

I have now accepted that this is going to be an issue for a while. We are currently in good phase but I am prepared for that fact that as he gets bigger we will have to find a new effective dose of meds. I am sure we will have many more sleepless nights in our future, so I will just enjoy the good nights while they last.

I have started focusing on the good stuff and trying to keep things in perspective. I am a therapist and have worked with many special needs kids. It could defiantly be a lot worse! I have a beautiful, happy and otherwise very healthy child. I am truly blessed.

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