has never slept in his room

[Anonymous]

Noah is now a year old and he has never slept a single night in his own room. We’ve had a crib in there since before he was born, and he has yet to even take a real nap in there either. He has always slept in a bedside cradle. Once he got to big for it, I still couldnt bear to put him into his room all alone, so I put a pack n play in our room, and he’s been in that ever since. For his naps, he continues to sleep in a pack n play that is set up in our living room. I had to do this because of his sleep feeding. I would pick him up while asleep and go straight over to the Lazy Boy and start rocking and feeding. For some reason, sleep feeding never worked if he was in his quiet room. He would always wake up.

This poor baby is never going to figure out how to sleep in a room where he is all alone. And now that he’s getting older, I know its going to be really hard to break him of these horrible sleeping arrangements that I’ve created. Anybody have any advice? Do you think its ok to continue to take naps in the living room and sleep in our room at night? I NEVER did this with my other two children.

lisaann2006-4-17 22:20:43

[Anonymous]

LIsa

With Matthew, we have now started co-sleeping. My husband is about to divorce me i think (we were on holiday and he ended up sleeping in a different room). It is the only way that i can get some rest (matthew wakes up now about 5 times but will be crying for 1 hour sometimes, or a min of 10min). I don´t have much in the way of advice. He will not sleep in his crib right now, which is in my room by the way, but i think i have created it but i could not go in with no sleep…. I think Noah will be OK. He will figure it out when he is ready.

[Anonymous]

Lisa, Hailey has slept so few nights in her room that I can count them on one hand. It was before we accepted that she wasn’t going to sleep in there any time this year- we kept trying, but she woke up so often that we moved her into our room. Just a few weeks ago we actually moved her crib into our room as well. I just decided that it was more important to try and get some sleep, however little it might be. My niece co-slept until age 2 and then had no problems moving into her own room at that point.

Thais, I know what you mean…when I say “our” room, I should actually be saying “my” room. My husband has been in the guest room for ages now. We take shifts, so it’s basically the only way either one of us can get some rest.

[Anonymous]

I think co-sleeping is a perfectly good option. However, if you want to move him to his own room, I suggest doing it gradually.

First we moved the co-sleeper bed a bit away from our bed for a week or two, then we moved it across the room but still in our bedroom for a few weeks. Then we moved it to his bedroom for a few weeks and finally we moved him to his crib. This slow transition worked for us.

On the other hand, I don’t think you should move him until YOU are ready. You need to do what is best for the both of you.

Best of Luck.

Ruby

Henry, 5 months old, reflux

Breastfeeding on the eat-nothing-that-you-like-diet

7.5 mg prevacid 2x a day

[Anonymous]

I have no advice but you are not alone. Seth used to sleep in his crib (not well) but for the past month or so he has slept with me or DH in the guest bed propped up in a boppy. This is the only way he seems to half way get any relief from the reflux even though he has a wedge in his crib and it is elevated. Me and DH are exhausted since we don’t sleep well for watching out for him so that is why we take turns. We just bought the comfy lift bed and are getting him a toddler fire engine bed frame to go with it that we are going to set up in his room. We are praying this will not only be the fix for his reflux but also get him back in his room. So much for that expensive convertible crib that we bought!

I know some people don’t understand our arrangement and think we are too easy with Seth but I think he associates his crib with pain so I refuse to make him stay in it if he does not want to. I think you just have to do what works for you even if it is unconventional. I often joke that we will have a five year old sleeping with us but we’re just taking it one day at a time for now.

[Anonymous]

Brian has been co-sleep with me since day one (I am glad that my MIL bought the crib), we tried to put him in his crib when he was younger, then he cried for 1-2 hours, the last time (6 months) when I tried to put him in the crib, he vomited his whole feeding out, then I said that is it. I really need a good night sleep to take care of him during the day, especial those difficult feeding. He still wakes up pretty often during the night, and DH does not take turn with me, so I think he will co-sleep with me for a while.

[Anonymous]

Hi there,

Trust me, your son will be FINE!!!! You do what you have to do to get sleep, and things will work out in the end, you may have to get creative, but you’ve already proven yourself creative by dealing so well with a refluxer. One thing I read recently about pottie training that can be applied to many of our situations with these kiddos is that the best thing you can do for your child is believe that it will really happen. Like pottie training, sleeping in their own beds WILL happen, they won’t be sixteen and in your pack and play, right?

My son has slept in all sorts of different arrangements: bassinet next to bed in “our” room, pack in play, several months in the bouncey seat, months in the car seat, and now for nearly a year in his room co-sleeping with me, while dh sleeps in “our” room. Like so many of the moms here, we got so little sleep that sleep— anytime, anywhere, in ANY fashion, became my biggest goal. I think he was also in his real crib for a few weeks, but we’ve taken the crib down and packed it away for good. I’m hoping by around age two to be nearing weaning and nearing getting ready for Lucas to sleep alone in his bed. Sounds like at least you are sleeping with your husband– I mean– but sleeping NEXT to your husband– which believe me, is better than not!

Take heart, at least your little guy sleeps and if sleep feeding is helping you avoid feeding tubes and all the other trappings of horrible reflux, then I say do whatever it takes. Hang in there. It’s so good to know we’re not alone in this.

[Anonymous]

I agree that what ever gets you the most sleep is the way to go at this point. I had to move my son when he got to big for the bassinet (3 1/2 months) I did not like the idea of having him so far away (his room is right across the hall, but it felt like miles away that first night) He actually stated sleeping a lot better! He is a light sleeper and I think the noise of us going to bed and dad getting up in the morning was actually bothering him.

Thats just my story. I thought it would be so hard on him, but it turned out I was the only one that had a problem with it. Just do what ever is the best for you and your little guy

[Anonymous]

I made the mistake of never putting my older son in his crib, he went straight from my bed to a toddler bed at 2…he never learned how to soothe himself to sleep, and as a result has been taking melatonin to put him to sleep since he was 4-he’s 6 now ( I know not all kids who never learn to self-soothe have sleep issues but his dr said it was a huge factor in why he continued to have a really hard time getting to sleep) My little one is almost 5 months, and I only plan on keeping him in my room until he is 6 mos old ( as recomended by his ped.)…even if the poor guy has to cry it out for a few nights, I think its better than what my poor older one had to go through

[Anonymous]

I think the question is…do you want him to sleep in his room? And if so, what are you willing to do to help him like his bed and feel safe. It is so easy to give up, when you found something that works just because we are so worn out from everything else. I think co-sleeping or not is very personal and both have pros and cons. I know lots of people whose children continue to have sleep issues as toddlers, like they cannot sleep alone and the poor parents never have a night to themselves.

I was very lucky with my first son. He was easy to sleep train which was helping your child get to the point of drowsy, but put them to bed awake. My first son was willing to be sleep trained and had his reflux under control. Refer to Baby Whisperer books for infants and toddlers for how to do this.

My baby, is the complete opposite and needs to breastfeed, or needs motion to sleep. He always starts out in his bed and around 1am, is back in his swing all night ( he naps their as well). I haven’t thought about sleep training him, until I start getting some sleep. I think if you want some privacy or want to be able to leave him overnight, it is not to late to do 3 day magic. If he is used to white noise or doesn’t like quiet get a sound machine or cd player with soothing songs. Also start slow, every night do your normal routine but start moving the pack n play down the hall until it is in his room.

There is no rule that a baby has to sleep in his crib just because he has one. Look at what you are looking for and what is best for your child and see if an independent sleeper is what you want. It may take a long time because he is older, but I have known mothers who have done it. I hope someday to try to get my child to be able to fall asleep on his own as well. Good luck!

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