How am I supposed to deal with this?????

[Anonymous]

OK, I am so ready to @#?{+* Nathan!!!!

I swear his reflux is getting better. He doesn’t wet burp anymore, no abrupt screaming episodes, no coughing, etc. So now I just have to deal with his residual food/feeding aversions.

I posted a few days ago that he was doing so much better with solids. And he was. But now it’s been several days where he freaks out when I put him in the chair, and only calms down when I give him yogurt. I know the easy answer is just give him yogurt, and/or put on Baby Einstein to distract him. But his behavior is killing me. It’s not just that he doesn’t want to eat a certain food that I present to him, even if he loved it in the past (eg, rotisserie chicken, which he used to gobble right up). Now if he doesn’t want it, he picks it up off the tray and tosses it on the floor, and then ‘yells’ at me. He’s only 1 year old, how am I supposed to respond to this behavior?!

He’s been yelling at me all day. It sounds like a frustrated sound, but my grandmother thinks it is just that he found a new noise to make. I doubt it. He seems angry with me, like I don’t understand what he needs. And you know what, I don’t. I have no idea what he wants, except f*cking yogurt.

He has also lost all interest in the bottle. I have him down to 3 bottles, which was going well for a couple of weeks, and now he’s taking no more than 4 oz at best per bottle, and is usually outright refusing the nighttime one. So he’s getting like 8oz a day. I didn’t want to start milk until I met with the new ped (2 more weeks) b/c I think he needs a vitamin if we’re going to give up formula.

Arrrrghhhhhhhh I don’t know what to do. It’s so hard to keep my cool with him,when he’s in that high chair. He is such a sweet boy, I love him so so so much, but I want to kill him when it’s mealtime!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Sharon, it is so nice to listen to somebody who sounds like me! I guess we are human! Nate is only on 20 mgs of zegerid? Joel reccommended 30 mgs 3x a day for my 16 pound 6 month old.

I just wanted to throw out the idea of speech/occupational therapy. We are currently seeing one for dysphagia. So she is trying to strengthen the swallow. She is working with her on feeding too. She is responding well. She used to cry when i came near her with a spoon. (i give her prevacid in applesauce and she hated it!) I know another mom is giving it a try right now too, maybe she will post how it is going. The speech patholigist says she works with kids, especially kids with reflux, who develop oral aversions all the time.

I am about to loose it too with the temper tantrums and screaming all the time. I know she’s not feeling good, but she is going to be a handful! Mine has figured out the arching thing, so she won’t bend so she doesn’t have to sit in the high chair. At least she hasn’t figured out how to throw the food at mean. I’m sure that will come though!

[Anonymous]

Hi Sharon,

I am sorry this is so hard! I do remember around that age that Dylan took a TREMENDOUSLY less food. It was like he was living on air. I know it is the hardest thing to do, but we eliminated the high chair and put him in a booster seat at the table. He could climb in and out himself which gave him some control. And I didn’t push. I ignored him when I gave him food and if he ate, great, and if he didn’t, so be it. He always seemed to average out. There were days he ate no more than 1 chicken nugget, but then two days later he might make up for it.

I remember being incredibly frustrated and yelling at the doctors that he needs to eat more! But they were right. The less the power struggle, the more he ate. I also left food around for him to find. Such as cherrios in a ziplock at his level, etc. This way if he found it rather than me giving it to him, he would eat so much more. Not really a choice with chicken, etc…but I would leave his plate out for a while and he would graze over time as well.

I know these are not good suggestions if you want/need to have strict eating times, but these did work for us.

Good luck! And feel free to vent! It is so hard sometimes….

[Anonymous]

OMG!!! I don’t mean to laugh but that sounds SOOOO familiar!!! I’m glad I can look back on it now and laugh. My son at that age WOULD NOT DRINK MILK. He also was down to 8oz a day or something crazy like that. My suggestion is to find a store that sells milk with ACIDOPHILUS in it (it will be in really big print on the carton). Out of despiration when my son was 1 (he wouldn’t drink juice either) I gave him YO-J (yogurt and juice that comes in half-gallon containers) and guess what, he drank 8 oz in one sitting!!! When he was 1.5 years old I discovered the ACIDOPHILUS milk and he’s been drinking it ever since! I can only find 2%, but you can ask any “big chain” grocery store to stock it for you. Acidophilus is in Yogurt, it is a pro-biotic that helps with digestion. P.S. my son still rotates what his favorite foods are: Love bananas one week, hates them the next. Good Luck! Try the YO-J (not the orange flavored), I bet he’ll guzzle it down! lansima2006-3-2 13:30:8

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for your responses. I so needed to feel not alone! It’s so frustrating b/c his behavior regarding food is so variable. I think that means his issues are more behavioral. We did do a formal feeding evaluation at the children’s hospital where we used to live, and it was very thorough. One of the things that really concerned me was the gagging. But his gag reflux is totally normal for his age, so when he gags when the spoon has barely touched his lips, it’s b/c he just doesn’t want the food, not that his gag reflex was triggered. I’m interested in the dysphagia tho … I wonder if behavior is so variable b/c it’s tiring for him to eat, so sometimes he just doesn’t feel like it, KWIM? After lunch today (when I posted) I put him in his crib b/c I thought we both needed a break from each other, and he did end up falling asleep (but not for long). Anyway, back to the feeding evaluation … he was doing quite well at that point, and the therapist was pleased that even though he didn’t eat much variety, he was managing various textures (inlcuding shredded chicken, toast, yogurt, crackers). He still can’t bite something (he will put an entire Gerber arrowroot cookie in his mouth if I don’t break it for him). By the way, those cookies are like baby cocaine, he does love them!

Ann Marie – I think that’s a great idea to eliminate the high chair. Nate has used a booster when visiting with some friends, and he did fine. My sister also handed him a plastic bowl of bread that she ripped up, and he did great with it, holding the bowl and reaching into it. I’m afraid it I put a plate in front of him, the whole thing will end up on the floor. If I put too much on his tray at one time, he’ll put whatever it is on the floor just b/c he’s not ready for it yet (eg, if he’s still chewing the previous bite). I usually give him no more than 3 pieces of anything at a time. He can self-feed, but can’t use utensils yet.

Marsha – I’m looking forward to laughing about this at some point in the future! NAthan eats yogurt literally every day, sometimes as much as 8oz or even 12oz in one day. I know it’s a lot of sugar, but I’m sure there is far worse he could be eating. So I’m less worried about him not having enough milk, than I am about giving up formula before we get vitamins for him.

Sarah – Our old GI doc didn’t feel comfortable going higher than 20mg per day, and honeslty I was lucky to get them to go even that high. The practice was very conservative. I’m hoping that the new doc will approve a higher dose … but didn’t I just say that the reflux is getting so much better?! Honestly, I do believe he’s getting better in that regard, but he’s just got these awful eating habits that resulted from months of feeling so crummy and having eating be painful. It so totally sucks.

nate’s_mom2006-3-2 14:24:30

[Anonymous]

I think doctors mis-interpret children refusing food. From my experiences my son pushed away food, until his digestive system was ready to handle it. You wouldn’t try to spoon feed a 2 week old baby food. I just kept offering my son food, and one day, out of the blue, he’d start eating more/different kinds of foods. He didn’t eat cereal or #1 foods until he was 6 months old. He started with “table” foods at 13 months old. Try not to stress about it too much, he’ll eat when his body is ready. I don’t think its dysphasia. Your son is smarter than you think and I believe he is refusing foods, because he is not ready to digest them yet. That’s whey he loves yogurt so much – its very easy to digest because of the pro-biotics. My son too would ALWAYS refuse food (other than #2 baby food) before it even got to his lips until one day, “poof” he magically was ready for #3 foods AND soft table foods at 13 months old. I have heard many similar stories from the other forum that I frequent for ea/tef.lansima2006-3-2 15:21:3

[Anonymous]

This kid is going to send me to the looney bin!

OK, so I decided to put Baby Einstein on for him with dinner. I gave him everything I was eating, and I had yogurt on hand in case he refused everything. Well, he proceeded to eat the most balanced solid food meal of his life: turkey meatloaf, steamed broccoli, & steak fries. He fed about 1/3rd of it to himself. I about fell off my chair.

I swear, it’s feast or famine with him (no pun intended).

[Anonymous]

Congratulations! If he would at least do this every couple of days, it wouldn’t make you worry so much. And I wanted to mention, that I don’t think it’s that uncommon for him to want yogurt so often. Dylan will stick with a favorite and could eat it all day if I let him. If he isn’t eating anything else, I do let him!

You are doing a great job!

Ann Marie

[Anonymous]

I am sp sprry. I don’t know if it’s any comfort, but I’ve been there too. It is really frightening to fee; angry at your baby, but there were times I wanted to throw Gabriel at the wall for sheer frustration. The only other moms that know what I’m talking about are moms of babies with reflux. Everyone else is compassionate, but I think they secretly think I’m crazy! I recommend occupational therapy as well. It takes a professional to help a child overcome oral aversion, but take heart, it is possible. I think one of the things that made me feel so angry at Gabe was that I couldn not control whether he ate, but I was scared for him and felt responsible. I was scared he was just going to fade away to nothing. Remember that you are working with a team of doctors who share responsibility in your predicament and you are not alone. When you are feeling angry and out of control, walk away for a minute or two. The angrier you get about it, the more uptight your baby will get. Also, encourage him to be as independent as possible, even though it’s scary. Babies who feed themselves eat better in general than babies who are fed.

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