Me again – Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

OK. So Tyler is on Prevacid solutab now. 15 mg. Probably not enough and probably needs it 2 times a day – but I am giving it a try as prescribed before complaining. I still have to give him Zantac until it kicks in (not per doc – just per necessity that i found out on this sight) I just space it out from the PPI and if he is really arching and fussy I give Mylanta for some immediate relief. We had to quit the Oatmeal cereal. We tried it for a week. That was the most miserable week of his (and my) life. The spitting was much better but the gas was unbearable. I am going to try organic rice cereal (last time we tried Gerber not knowing about the soy) to see if that will work.

OK so here is my question. I read on these posts the problems that you all are having and I am wondering if I am overeacting to Tyler’s problem. Some friends and family have told me that I am. You know “babies spit – babies cry – babies are sometimes uncomfortable – you can’t protect them from everything – blah blah blah”

Tyler was born at 5 lbs 15 oz 4 weeks early and is now 17 lbs 2 oz at 5 months (he is very long though – 27 inches). So he went from the 5th percentile in weight to the 95th. So he is obviously gaining weight fine. He eats 30 oz a day and that is with me controlling it (he would eat more if I let him – but i limit to reduce spitting), so he eats fine. He sleeps through the night perfectly almost every night and he is not on a wedge or raised crib. He never spits at night. Whenever he eats sleepy he is fine(weird?) He does have Sandifiers Syndrome – no doubt about that. He really does not cry very much and never has. He does this kind of whining / scream type thing when he arches his back so I know he is in some pain, but he does not cry much. He does that probably at least 5 times a day, but it does not last long. Any pressure on belly makes him spit so he hates tummy time and sitting. He is very gassy and has hiccups all the time. He used to spit up on a bad day at least 20 times a day even when he was just sitting there 2 hours after his feeding. Now we have it down to mostly a lot of burps with spit up or movement or pressure on belly and it is probably 10 times a day on a bad day.

So I guess my point is compared to the not eating, not sleeping, crying constantly and having to carry the child around all day long scenerios that I see many of you enduring (which by the way you all deserve a medal of honor – I have no idea how you all find the strength to handle it – you are outstanding moms!) I feel like maybe I am overreacting. Do you think that I am? I really value your opinions. My friends who have “normal” babies I know won’t get it – but since you all are dealing with it I know that you can speak from experience on whether I am warrented in my concern for this or just an overprotective mom.

[Anonymous]

Hi Shelly

No you are not overreacting! It is easy for others that dont spend 24 hours a day with our children to say that things look normal to them. The fact that he is sleeping well and not crying much means that his medication is helping him.

It is really normal for reflux babies to eat better when they are sleepy, they are not so aware of the pain. We have gone through many periods where we could only get my Tyler to eat when he was asleep.

What your baby is going through is not normal and is mainly reflux symptoms. My daughter never had reflux so its easy for me to see what is normal and whats not with my son. It must be really hard for first time moms.

Hang in there, it does get easier!

[Anonymous]

Shelley,

Just because you do not have the “worse-case scenario”, does not mean that you are over-reacting. (And don’t let people tell you that you are!) The problem with reflux is that it is at the abnormal end of the spectrum in a continuum of normal. So, yes, it is normal for babies to spit up, but it is not normal for them to cover your house with vomit like a fire-hose, or to lose their lunch every time they cough or move the wrong way. It is also NOT normal to have Sandifer’s. Other than the Sandifer’s, it sounds like your guy may be a happy spitter. That still doesn’t make it normal, or fun to constantly clean up vomit. I would try my best to ignore people who don’t have any experience with this that tell you that you are just overreacting. Often, they just mean well but don’t know any better. I would also keep my eye on the Sandifer’s- it is considered a pain response to the reflux- so you might want to see if increasing his meds will get rid of this entirely. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Thank you -Thank you – Thank you!!!! I need to trust my instincts more, but being a first time mom it is hard. You guys are lifesavers!!!!

[Anonymous]

I agree. Robbie was never that bad. He still doesn’t sleep through the night — ugh! But he doesn’t cry a lot and now he is off meds. because he is no longer in pain. As a matter of fact he hardly ever spits up anymore. I always thought that I was overreacting too. I wasn’t. He had reflux, needed medicine, and needed some feeding intervention to improve his relationship to food. Trust yourself. You are a great mommy!

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you are overreacting at all! People always want to tell you that you are worrying about nothing but until they go through it I cannot take them seriously!

[Anonymous]

Shelly,

I’m glad you posted this because I find myself thinking the exact same thing at times. Tess has silent reflux so I don’t even have the spitting/vomiting to go by. And she was a big comfort eater before we started the meds so that made it really look like we didn’t know what we were talking about! I’m not a first-time mom but people keep assuming so when we go to the doctor’s office. My first DD was high needs and I got a LOT of the cr@p that people aways seem to give first-time moms – you don’t know what you’re doing, she’s like that because you’re not doing it right, she’s normal and you’re just expecting too much, blah, blah, blah. It’s SO annoying!!! I’d listen to whatever these ladies tell you – they’re the experts! I’m still trying to find my way in this reflux world. Hopefully we’ll both figure it out soon!

[Anonymous]

Karen, just wondering what you mean by high needs? I’m asing b/c that label could certainly apply to hailey.

[Anonymous]

Lori,

Some people call them ‘high maintenance’ or ‘spirited’ babies. Dr.Sears coined the term ‘high needs’ and here is a link to his web site that lists the 12 traits of a high needs baby. Basically these are babies/kids who are more everything… more sensitive, more demanding, more vocal, more needy, more stubborn, more intense. They get easier with age but I think most are always a little bit different from the average kid. My DD has many quirks that can make life more challenging. For instance, she gets upset when air blows on her face/head (no driving with the windows down), she cannot wear any clothing that is the least bit tight (no elastic on the cuffs of sleeves, etc.), she has super sensitive taste (will not take any medication, even the flavored stuff that most kids love), can “smell” when the heater is turned on in the car, etc. I know all kids have issues but Addison has more than most. There’s some good books and websites out there if you want more info.

[Anonymous]

Karen, thanks so much for the link. Interestingly, this describes both my children, though I never heard the term before. My older one, Sarah, we call spirited (I use the book the spirited child). She was just like the description except that she slept at night from about 3 months on. She could always, and still can, scream louder than other kids. Tantrums can get out of control. We always describe her as “more of every emotion”…. she’s happier than other kids when she’s happy, and she can very quickly go to the other end of the scale. Interestingly, she too wouldn’t take medicine until she turned 2 years old (It was awful b/c she often needed round the clock dosind of meds for her seizures). Hailey is also just like the description in the link, except she doesn’t like to eat, and she only likes people she knows well. Our doc always says that she has no ability to self soothe, and she goes from zero to 100 in less than ten seconds. Meltdowns with her are common and severe. We always say that she has “social anxiety” and that she is “touchy”…easily overstimulated by the environment. Throw in a case of reflux and it’s quite the challenge at times. We call both the kids “hypersensitive”. I’m much that way too as an adult, though apparently I was a dream as a baby.

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