Messy eater

[Anonymous]

Seth throws his food everywhere and I mean everywhere. When he is done eating, he just throws his plate and cup across the kitchen. At first, it was funny and cute but now it is really starting to be annoying not to mention the MESS! I am having to strip him down after every meal and wash his clothes. What can I do to make him stop? He does not do this at daycare or when we are eating out. Do you think letting him sit at his own little table and chairs (like at daycare) would help? We currently have him in a booster.

[Anonymous]

Tiffany, we are going through the same thing with Hailey. As soon as I put her food down, if she doesn’t like it then she immediately starts throwing. Our kitchen is in a scary state, and we have to wash food from the walls, drapes, and I won’t even get started on Hailey… we just strip her down to her diaper. It’s awful!

I wish I had some advice for you. This started a little while ago, and has become progressively worse. Sarah used to do it as well, but not as badly. Hailey is in a class all her own.

Back when it started, our feeding therapist told us not to pay too much attention to it either positively or negatively. She told us that yelling “NO” would be just as much reinforcement as laughing. She said to be firm, calm, quick in responding, and to set boundaries with what kind of behaviour we would accept at the table (I know, easier said than done). So if Hailey started to throw food, we were to matter of factly look at her, and say “no throwing food. food is for eating”, and then to take her tray away for a minute. Then to give her another chance. If she kept doing it and wasn’t eating, then she said to remove her from the table for a few minutes. At that point we could either call the meal quits, or put her back and see if she wanted some more, but if she started throwing again then the meal was done. She also suggested a change of venue, like a little kids table or a picnic table to keep her interested. Though this doesn’t apply to Hailey, she said that some kids throw food if too much is expected of them at the table. She said to make sure that they are not being expected to sit there for too long while we finish a huge dinner, because they might start to get bored, and often that is when the throwing starts. For other kids, it’s just a testing kind of behaviour and when they learn the limits of what will and won’t be accepted, it fades away.

I have to admit, that because of Hailey’s feeding issues, I have not been very good at setting boundaries at meal time. I used to think her throwing was kind of normal toddler behaviour, but lately it’s escalated and I see her laughing and smirking when she’s doing it. Only recently have I stated taking her tray away when she starts throwing. It hasn’t worked for us yet, but I’m trying to stick with it.

Good luck. I hope that we both have cleaner kitchens soon.

[Anonymous]

Tiffany –
Do you ever have Seth pick the food up, or at least help pick it up? Owen used to be very bad about throwing food on the ground but we were always very serious about it and any time he does it, he has to clean it up, or at least help the best that he can. At times he would refuse and we would physically move his hand to pick up the food and eventually he would do it himself – and now he won’t throw ever. I know that it sounds kind of harsh but we were at our wits end with him and the mess he was making and this finally stopped it. Now if he drops food by mistake he’ll say uh-oh – climb down, pick it up, and get back in his seat. A little overboard but at least it shows we really taught him that dropping/throwing food is wrong!

I’m sure you’ve tried something like this already, but if you can be really consistent with it, even though it can be hard, it may help.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Hi Tiffany,
My son Parker is just a few months older than Seth and he does the same thing. Whenever he’s done eating he’ll throw his dishes on the floor, or if he doesn’t like something, he’ll play with it and throw it.
My approach is somewhat what Lori has already suggested. If I see him playing with his food, first, I don’t give him any attention for it (either negative or positive). I just take his plate (or his whole high chair tray) immediately away, even if he’s not finished eating. Then after a few minutes, or if he tells me he’ll stop playing, I try giving it back. Also, I’ve found it’s best to try and take his dishes as soon as he finishes his food as possible so he doesn’t have a chance to throw them.
One other thing that has helped is letting Parker help out by putting his own dishes in the sink when he’s done eating. He thinks it’s cool that he gets to do it himself, and now he’s gotten in the habit of doing that after every meal and most of the time he doesn’t think about throwing the dishes.

Good luck!

Bryce’sMom2006-10-16 11:55:7

[Anonymous]

Thanks guys- I really try not to react even if it means leaving the room for a moment because I am so upset!

I have thought about trying to make him help clean up but he loves the broom and dustpan so much that I am afraid he will throw even more on the floor to get to play with them. He is aware of what he is doing, because he will say “uh oh” as he throws it down. I keep telling him it is not an “uh oh” if he does it on purpose!

I really think in this case he is testing us. I guess I need to be firm and take his plate away when he starts and then remove it as soon as he is done as you all have suggested. We have been somewhat lax in disciplining him and I think we are starting to pay for it.

At least I know I don’t have the only little around LOL! Maybe this is a phase they all go through!

[Anonymous]

With my girls I did what Laura (Owen’s mom) did. I always tried the firm “NO” first, and that worked very well with Liza when she was younger (like 10-15 months). As she got older she needed more of a consequence for throwing food, so I’d make her pick up her mess and she quickly stopped throwing food. It sounds so harsh, but it really isn’t. I didn’t make her pick up every little crumb, but she’d have to get down and pick up what she could and that helped alot.

The firm “NO” was enough for Eliana (she’s such a doll)

Also, I usually would only give her (and my other two) small amounts of food at a time. This way if they threw it, dropped it or whatever, it wasn’t such a big mess. I’d just give them more food as they finished what they had.

Good luck. I know how frustrating it is. You should see the mess with three!!

[Anonymous]

“At least I know I don’t have the only little around LOL! Maybe this is a phase they all go through!”

Yes, LOL!!! I feel that way too… I guess misery loves company! Though unfortunately Hailey isn’t as much of a little as she is a little !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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