MOMs groups

[Anonymous]

I joined MOPS when Seth was about a year old or so but dropped out before the year ended for various reasons.

I am now thinking of joining again this year. Though not the primary reason I quit going, I have to admit it was hard for me to see the new moms bring in their infants and such when Seth’s infancy was all consumed with the reflux and we were pretty much restrained to the house except for daycare. It’s also hard for me to hear about how children sleep through the night at whatever months when Seth is still not always sleeping all the way through at almost 3 years! Our situation reflux wise although much better is still not ideal and it seems like no one really understands unless they have been there.

So, my question is, how do you handle being around other moms? Do you just not divulge anything about your child that is out of the ‘norm’ (like why he still doesn’t drink milk, scheduling meals around meds., etc.?).

I really would like to meet some new people and try to have an outlet but on the other hand, I wonder if I am really ready to try this again?!

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think if you are looking for an outlet to join other moms, go for it!! I have learned to smile and just say “Oh that’s great” to others with their boasts and just keep the rest to myself. It is defintely hard to be around others who have not shared such experiences as the moms here have, but in the big picture of their lives, the babies who slept through the night earlier does not predict where all these kids are going to be as toddlers, preschooler, school aged, etc….

I think I would go for it! Maybe just change the subject when those things come up, or smile and find a token phrase for yourself that you can say that is considerate, but reminds you that the bond you have with Seth is so much bigger than this reflux, meal time, sleeping issues, etc…. I use the “Oh that’s great” pretty often. My friend uses “oh that’s true, huh” when people try to tell her how to raise her daughter (she lost her first at 2 and a half in her sleep) so she has learned to smile and brush it off as well.

Let us know what you decide..

Ann Marie

[Anonymous]

Hey Tiffany. I belong to a MOPS group too. I joined when Claire was almost 2, and it was such a lifesaver for me. I loved being around the other moms, and Claire had a great time being with kids her own age. Last year, I had every intention of going back, but after Ben’s birth, I wasn’t able to even leave the house until just a few months ago. I did end up going to a few meetings at the end of the spring, and was surprised to find that Ben was one of 4 kids with reflux!!!

They list the kids’ names and special instructions outside the door, and I noticed that their were several children who had food allergies and intolerances listed. I didn’t really have a chance to talk with many about the whole situation, but I have really found that (unfortunately) reflux and food issues are popping up all over these days.

Maybe you will actually find some women who know exactly what you are going through. And if not, at least you will have a chance to talk to a grownup during the day!

[Anonymous]

We just started Kindermusik yesterday and of the 8 children 2 including cooper have reflux… that is 25% which was surprising to me. I decided that we just had to get out for Cooper to be with other kids and for me to meet other adults. We both had tons of fun and I think he will really enjoy it. I did tell everyone in the class as it involves lots of movement to music and I had a blanket on the carpet and multiple burp cloths and bibs with me in case disaster… surprisingly it went very well and he didn’t spit once in the 45 min class. I just have decided that this is a part of our lives and when we are in public and he spits… my response to people who go “oh he is spitting up” is yeah that’s normal in our house… no big deal and leave it at that if they want more info then I will give it… Gotta run he is waking up.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely do it. I know what you mean though. When moms are bragging about their “sleeping through the night, just eating and sleeping and not crying” babies, I feel like saying “ok, you can keep quiet now”. I say that people are jugdemental b/c their lacking the knowledge on the subject. I would tell them about the condition (educate, if you will) if they were interested and point out that more and more babies are being diagnosed with reflux (they’re not just “colicky” anymore). Good luck

[Anonymous]

I started taking my older ds to play and music classes at Gymboree when he was about 6 months old. I had not left the house much before then due to his crying, spitting up alot, etc. Turns out 2 of the other moms had reflux babies and 2 others had had alot of problems with breastfeeding like I had. It was great to talk to other moms who had struggled. And one of the moms who had a really easy baby who drove me nuts now has a totally unruly preschooler who drives her and everyone else crazy so everyone deals with it sooner or later. We had a hard time getting pregnant with our second and ended up doing fert treatments and it was hard for me to be around other moms who got pregnant so easily and who sometimes unknowingly said things that really hurt me. So there were certain people that I avoided during that time but I found enough people who I felt comfortable with.

[Author]

Posts