My sensitive child

[Anonymous]

I’ve posted before about Claire, my 4 year old and how she is super-sensitive, shy, etc. She is terrified of bugs, loud noises, large groups of loud kids, etc. It took several months for her to be ok with her preschool class, and she still has to literally be pushed into her Sunday school class every week.

She will talk an adults ear off, but she is nervous around her peers. We have had her in gym classes, dance classes, etc. to all help her get used to children her own age, but she is really hard to encourage to join in.

Well, I just signed her up for indoor soccer at the Y, and she has LOVED the practices. Her dad has taken her to them. She will typically sit with him for the first few minutes and he has to cajole her into going out on the floor, but once she does, she has a great time. And, she talks about it nonstop for the rest of the night. She is the only girl on her team But we’ve convinced her that it’s because she’s so good at soccer!

Saturday was her first game and what a disaster!!! She was excited about it the whole morning, but as soon as we walked in the gym, she grabbed my hand and refused to go out and warm up with her team. After about 10 minutes of talking, encouraging her, etc. she finally was moving out to the floor, when the score board timer BUZZED!

Well, she FREAKED! She HATES loud noises, and she immediately burst into tears and refused to play at all.

The rest of the entire game was spent with her crying and refusing to play and dh and I trying to convince her to.

It is so frustrating, and I really don’t know what to do. DH doesn’t handle it well at all. He tries to reason with her, and gets so frustrated when she balks.

How do I help her get over her fears?? I know she would really enjoy playing, as she has a blast at practice (eventually). But everytime I ask her if she will play next game, she says no, because the buzzer is too loud!!! ARG!

Help!

[Anonymous]

I could be overreaching, but Dylan has some sensory issues regardign loud noises, etc…. Have you ever asked an OT?

But for a quick fix, could you get her some earplugs? it is not like they hear direction from the coach with all that loud noise during the game anyway, and that woudl be a quick fix?

Sorry you are going through this. It can be very tiring when we try so hard to do something great for our kids and then they are not enjoying it as much as we know they can. Hopefully there will be others that will chime in with much better advice than I have given you.

Hang in there!!!

Ann Marie

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear that Claire is like that. My friends son is afraid of loud noises as well, fireworks and ballons popping are the worst for him. He does play soccer but it is outside so the buzzer isn’t as loud. The earplug idea makes sense as it would dull the noise. I was the only girl on my soccer team for the 7 years I played and techincally I was the only girl in the rec league… must be something about NC and no girls playing soccer when they are little… such a shame, it is a great sport. I hope it gets better… sorry I don’t have any good advice. Cooper hates the vacumm cleaner so I am afraid we will have the loud noise issue as well.

[Anonymous]

Ariella is afraid of loud noises and one of my coworkers (an OT) told me that it could be a sensory issue for her. She got evaluated and is going to get OT services (not for that but for other things as well). I’d consult an OT. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Oh crap… you guys are scaring me. What kind of “issues” are we talking about here? How do I go about consulting an OT? Is that something that would have to go through her pediatrician’s office first? This sounds so crass to ask too, but would it be something generally covered by insurance?

[Anonymous]

I am only familiar with OT services up to 3 years old through Early Intervention but I’m sure you could contact one privately through a local hospital.

I can’t explain HOW OT works but I can tell you that I saw MIRACLES with some of my clients who had been through OT when I worked in Early Intervention. Children who hated bathtime, were picky eaters, had texture issues (touching objects, eating food), NOISES, etc…all improved DRAMATICALLY after OT services. Don’t be alarmed or upset at the thought of her having some sensory issues. We ALL do…it’s just our bodies way of dealing with those issues that makes us all different. Again, I can’t explain everything they do (it’s usually therapy through play) but I highly recommend checking it out. It can’t hurt!

Regardless of the recent frustrations…you still have a beautiful, sweet little girl! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Naomi, I didn’t mean to scare you. You need to check with your insurance whether or not they cover OT services for Claire. I’d contact any agency that deals with providing services to children (therapists). It doesn’t hurt to have her evaluated. I’m not an OT and I can’t say if she needs the therapy. Let us know what happens.

[Anonymous]

she is only 4 years old—she may just be a little bit of a late bloomer when it comes to social activites. i was afraid of so many things when i was little—-when i hit my teenage years there was no stopping me. one of my children seemed to have a lot of sensory issues when he was young, we actually thought he might be autistic. loud noises were an issue for him—now, he will complain about noise in the house, but play his music so loud that it drives the rest of us nuts.

personally—and this is just my opinion—-i think that 4 years old is a little young for organized soccer.

you might just try inviting one child at a time to your home so that she can get used to children her own age in a setting that is comfortable to her.

[Anonymous]

You might be right Christine. But she really seems to enjoy soccer itself so much.. except for that darn buzzer. And, in its defense, Y soccer for that age is about as unorganized as organized can get. The kids just run around like crazy. They don’t keep score at all. Parents cheer for both teams. It’s mainly for the social aspect and they focus on a character attribute each week. This week is “teamwork” next week is “respect” and so forth.

I guess my main worry is that her fear of loud noises is starting to become a bit debilitating for her.. ok, maybe that’s not the right word, but it definitely keeps her from doing the things she would like to do. She won’t go to see a kid’s movie at the theater because it’s too loud, she doesn’t like birthday parties because of how loud people sing the happy birthday song; she won’t play group games at school, etc.

I think I will at least give her pediatrician a call and see where it goes. Thanks everyone.

[Anonymous]

I also did not mean to scare you at all. Believe me, we were at a PPT the other day for dylan and they were speaking about one of his “quirks” and I was thinking to myself “OMG, that’s me!!!”.

I think they see a lot today that we just dealt with, but if a mild OT programs helps her deal, it is not a bad thing.

Anyway, our Soccer program at 4 through 6 is not “Organized” per se. It is more like the kids kick the ball back and forth, no keeping score, little scrimmages on an extremely shortened field, 10 minutes at a time, etc… More like a playgroup, but gets the kids outside and having fun. No pressure, buzzards…. I think if we had that Dylan would have been very unsuccessul at his age now, but being only mildly structured, he had a blast!

I also agree that she is young, so she could just outgrow it, but if you are concerned, most insurance companies will pay for it so a consult/eval would be an easy way to either ease your mind or help Claire with a few strategies to deal with the noise. I think I still would just put ear plugs in her ears and send her to soccer so she can enjoy it and have a great time….

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