pushy friend

[Anonymous]

ok, this is my latest issue..not really regarding Aidan’s reflux rather the way one of my friends is acting about it. Aidan’s Godparents are coming to visit for the 4th and although they are awesome people his Godmother is so annoying about the fact that I won’t let him try even the tiniest bit of table food (tiny bit of pizza crust, whipped cream etc)..I have explained over and over and over that he has reflux and that things like that could cause a bad reaction with him. She’s not mean about it, just pushy..I have the hardest time being assertive and really trying to get them to understand he can’t have the food even though he so obviously WANTS to eat everything in site (grabs for it screams when we eat and don’t give him any eat…etc)….I’m just very nervous about this whole visit and need some opinions..have already bounced this issue off several people here….I didn’t mind the first couple of times she tried to get me to give him table food, but she never shuts up about it…..maybe I should feed him applesauce in FRONT of her and ask her to babysit for a few hours….then she’d deffinitly get the point (although I would never do that, Aidan would go nuts)…..how do you guys deal with people who try to push you to give your kids foods they can’t eat and just never really get the picture that there’s a reason they can’t eat the food..even if the baby wants it?

[Anonymous]

I personally explain once, and then don’t listen to their comments. I also don’t leave Hailey alone with people like that who would go against my wishes and feed her things that she can’t have. People are ALWAYS going to have comments about how you’re raising your kids, whether it’s how/what you feed them, how you discipline them, when you put them to bed, how much extracurricular activities they do, how much TV they watch, and on and on and on. Personally I think you take the advice you want and then ignore the rest. In the end Aidan is your child, not anyone else’s and you have to do what you think is best. I try to be kind but firm with anyone who pushes too much. But that’s just me.

[Anonymous]

Hi Jill,

Not quite the same thing….but my in-laws insist on feeding my children food from off their own plates and forks. They even bite things and then give a piece to one or both of my girls. It drives me nuts. I can’t stand it because there are so many d*mn viruses and bacterial illnesses going around all the time, and I’ve told them many times that you can be infected with a virus or bacteria and spread it even before you have symptoms yourself. Of course, this goes in one ear and out the other.

Finally, the last time they visited I just sat them down and said nicely but assertively that I have enough to deal with (with Myles’ reflux and feeding problems…this was a few months ago…he’s much better now…) and that I NEED them to NOT share any food with the girls from now on. I felt like an idiot, but I reminded them at every meal that I would simply lose it if either one of my kids got sick yet again, so please NO SHARING OF FOOD OR UTENSILS. They actually got the message and did much better. A few minor slips, but overall a big change.

So, am I neurotic or what? Would it gross you out if people were sharing food and utensils with your boys?

Anyway, I guess all you can do is be assertive and ask them to respect your wishes. Also, you could just say, “Doctor’s orders…he’s to not have..this, that, or the other thing.” Period.

BTW, I saw Aidan’s pictures on the gerdling site. Would you like to see Myles and the girls? I can email pics if you’d like. Here’s my email if you’d like to email a recent picture of your boys. (I think Aidan was pretty little in the gerdling site pictures). He’s adorable, and it’s funny…but he looks a lot like I imagined he would.

ndakotarose@yahoo.com

Christine

[Anonymous]

aww ty christine, yep I decided that this time I’ll be a bit firmer with her!!! I remember all the advice I got from “well meaning” friends with my first, but as far as food went, he didn’t have these issues so I never cared if he got a bit of table food early on, and YEAH I would flip out if someone was sharing utensils with them, however with Austin’s ocd, and him being picky, he flips out at the mere mention of sharing a fork even if it’s been wiped off, blessing in disguise I guess!!! He germ proofs himself and is always telling people to wash their hands before they touch Aidan, while I meanwhile am picking Aidan’s teether’s right off the floor and tossing them back at him! I emailed you 2 updated pics, both taken a few weeks ago, can’t wait to see your little ones!!! (I think the email worked if not I’ll try sending it from comcast instead of outlook express) It’s so funny he looks exactly like a mini version of my husband, no me in there at all! I’ve had 2 strangers come up to me and say”ohhhh he’s so cute he looks like a little cartoon character”(which i THINK was a compliment?? lol)!!! when he raises his eyebrows they go up in perfect triangles like the kind little kids draw when they first start to draw faces!!!!Aidansmom792006-6-23 20:26:15

[Anonymous]

Hi Jill,

I got your pics (adorable). Thanks. I sent some of Myles and the girls.

I think the cartoon character comment is a compliment! He’s just very, very cute.

Christine

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