>>Subject: RAISING BOYS
>>
>>For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
>>
>>For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
>>
>>For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
>>
>>For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
>>
>>For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
>>
>>The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...Things
>>I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
>>
>>1.) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
>>house 4 inches deep.
>>
>>2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
>>roller blades, they can ignite.
>>
>>3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
>>restaurant.
>>
>>4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
>>enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
>>cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
>>paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
>>
>>5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
>>using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
>>before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>>
>>6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
>>by a ceiling fan.
>>
>>7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
>>too late.
>>
>>8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>>
>>9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
>>36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
>>
>>10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
>>old boy.
>>
>>11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
>>
>>12.) Super! r glue i s forever.
>>
>>13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
>>can't walk on water.
>>
>>14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>>
>>15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
>>show they do.
>>
>>16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>>
>>17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>>
>>18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
>>
>>19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
>>like ovens.
>>
>>20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
>>
>>21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
>>dizzy.
>>
>>22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
>>
>>23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
>>
>>24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
>>fluid.
.
