Sandifer’s became learned behavior

[Anonymous]

My 4 mo. old DD started daycare on Monday and has absolutely no eating issues there. She finishes her bottles every day with no signs of reflux or Sandifer’s and no crying.

At home, Sandifer’s, crying during feeding and bottle refusal are still the norm. Ped GI thinks she needs time to stop associating her father and I with the pain of eating. Has anyone else experienced this and did it get better? We’re trying to relax our expectations of how much she will eat and make feeding a fun time together but it breaks my heart that she eats better with a stranger than with her parents.

Her endoscopy was normal, she sleeps fine, does not have excessive irritability except during feedings and does not spit up. What is going on here???

[Anonymous]

I’m so glad to hear that Alison is feeling better on Zegerid I remember that things were pretty bad when you first started posting here, so to hear she is doing better makes me feel happy

As for her eating better at daycare, I know that probably makes you feel sad. No mom wants to hear that her baby does better with another caregiver, but on the bright side, it shows that Alison probaby is feeling much better, and that she can learn to enjoy feedings, or at least accept them in a positive fasion. I hope her eating well at daycare makes you feel hopeful that she will eat better at home soon too.

I think your GI’s point that she associates you and dh with painful feedings is possible, but I think it’s more likely that her feeding behavior with you and dh has just become a habit. Habits can begin for one reason, and continue for another reason, or for no real reason at all. Myles has some negative feeding behaviors and I really, really doubt that he associates me with painful feedings. He’s been on meds and pain free for so long (thank God) that I really doubt he even remembers being in pain. I think he just has developed some negative habits that are difficult to break. (I didn’t catch on as early as you did(!) and he was not properly medicated until he was over four months old, so some of his behaviors became more entrenched than they may be with Alison).

Relaxing your expectations regarding how much she eats can only help, so that’s great that you are working on that. Maybe you can try feeding her in different areas of the house with different distractions. Have you tried music? Do you feed her on a schedule? Or do you wait until she shows signs of hunger? Waiting until she’s hungry instead of feeding on a schedule is probably best. Also, if she fusses with the bottle, try putting it down and waiting a little while to offer it again. Let her feel like she is in control.

I hope she is eating as well for you as she does at daycare very soon. She is so young that I think you have a very good chance of turning things around. Good luck!! Keep us posted!!

[Anonymous]

I understand where you are coming from. It’s difficult to deal with a refluxer and all that comes with it. Maybe it would be helpful to search for old posts on feeding therepy. Some of us have had to start seeing ot’s and speech pathologists. We started at 3 months old. I know someone posted so ideas and games to help at home. Glad she is doind well in daycare though!

[Anonymous]

Robbie does everything better at daycare. It’s peer pressure, I swear. He always does stuff for about a month there before he will even try it at home and then it can take WEEKS for him to get it right at home. (for example, he still hates to hold his own bottle if I am there to do it for him)

[Anonymous]

My son is almost three and is always an “angel” at daycare and a complete terror for me! I have no explaination. He eats better there, he won’t eat anything but yogurt, juice, crackers, and sometime fruit at home. I also think it’s the peer pressure. He NEVER throws a tantrum at daycare, and some days he throws a constant tantrum until I put him to bed. I don’t think he associates you and your DH with feeding pain – it was cruel of your dr. to suggest that. Oh, I also wanted to add that my son goes down for a nap with “no problems at all” at daycare (how is that possible? My Logan?!), I have to fight all day long to get him to nap. Kids just seems to act up more when they have the adults full attention? I have no idea, it sure isn’t fair to us parents though.

[Anonymous]

I think that a lot of Kaelyn’s feeding issues were better at daycare because it was so different from home. She loves to people watch, and there was always so much going on that she would get distracted and forget how uncomfortable she was. As Sarah mentioned, there have been many things that she has done better at daycare than she does at home. For example, right now, they swear that she is almost fully potty trained, yet she shows absolutely no signs of it at home. Sometimes, I think they are just trying to keep us on our toes.

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