UGH!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I needed your opinion on something about a situation that is happening to me as a Special Education Teacher. I apologize for this long story, but I want make sure that you ladies understand what I am going through. So here goes:

Last month we were given 2 comp days to write IEPs. We have the minimum of 16 kids on our caseloads, to which we are responsible to hold the meetings and plus whatever class we teach, for example…..I teach the math classes, so I wrote the goals and objectives for more kids (10 more). Ok, so I was going to write those goals during my Spring Break…….well Thursday (the day before Good Friday), my dad was going in to get the dye test on his heart and there was a possibility he may have open heart surgery. I asked the principal if he would mind if I left my cell phone on vibrate that morning just in case my mom needed to get a hold of me and he said no problem. So Thursday morning my mom called and asked me to call back.

I called back and she said that my dad would need either a triple or quad bypass……it all depended when they went in to see. So I got off the phone and was fine. I went in and told the principal about what was going on and he stated that I should go and be with my parents, which at that time I was ok until he said that and all I could think about was that something could happen and that I should be there. Well he did end up having the triple bypass. Of course they had to open him up completely. The hardest thing was seeing him with the breathing tube down his throat and realizing that if it did not rain while they were in the Bahamas (as the doc said) that we would have lost him. I really did not deal with this until it really hit me the week we came back to school.

It ended up that I did not have the chance to get the IEPs out to my parents when I wanted to, which I know that it is not compliant according to the state of Ohio……but I had to be there for my family……and being an only one child, I am the only one who can be there for my parents. But as soon as I got back I wrote a letter to the parents and explained what had happened, but not in detail……just that there was a family health issue that I had to attend to and I apologized throughout the letter. Now, I do have a relationship with my parents because I really feel that it is important.

I sent those out on Tuesday and my meetings start this coming Friday (Apr. 27). The principal did see this letter before I sent it out because I did not want to send them out without his approval. Now, I did take Thursday and Friday off as personal days because I knew that I was going down hill from there, I think that reality had set in and I was just rundown.

So, what ended up happening was that one of the other SPED Teachers had an IEP meeting with one of my parents, in which I needed to write the math goals for and writing those had completely left my mind……I admit, it is my fault, but I did not do this intentionally……mind you, I have never done this before….this was the first and I will make sure that I not do it again. So here is the nasty email I received on Saturday from the principal:

Holly,

We met with Tyler G’s. Mother Thursday and his math goals were not completed. You were given comp days and time out of inclusion class to work on these and I see that several are not finished. I realize you have had some family health issues but you have had several in school hours to complete these IEP’s. It is unacceptable for a teacher to go into a meeting, parents taking off work and not having the document completed. I expect the rest of these to be finished and also have the appropriate next MFE testing listed.

Respectfully,

Principal put his name here, but I thought I should take it out….do not know why though

Ok, so he has been working with me for the past 3 years, I have been there for 6 years. I took offense to this because he should of known that this is not normal for me. So what I decided to do was to call the SPED teacher and apologize. I then called the parent that had the meeting explaining what had happened, again apologizing to them. I had told them that I would come over the weekend to discuss these goals, she stated that she would be in and out the whole weekend. So then she stated that she could come in on Monday morning and said that she understood.

I am ONLY HUMAN…..so out of 16 years of teaching, I made one mistake, although big, my parents understand what had happened and are compassionate to say that it was ok.

Then I sent out my list of conferences and this is the reply I got from him:

The times that are marked and are still tentative. If there are any changes, I will send out this list again with the changes. (I wrote this to the one’s who are on the email…more than him)

Have they all received their copy of the new IEP?George (Principal response)
Now, I was offended because why would I have not sent them out!!!

Ok, sorry this was so LONG……but as parents, I understand that you want the law to be followed, but how would you feel about this? Would you be so completely angry with me? Please tell me your input about this and tell me how you think I should handle this as a parent? If you are a SPED or regular education teacher reading this, please tell me what your opinion is and how would you handle this?

THANKS LADIES!!!!

[Anonymous]

I wanted to start by saying, I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this with your father. That is so difficult. I pray that he fully recovers! How is he doing?

That is such a tough situation, but if I were the parent, I would be understanding. Being in the position that you were in, you needed to be with your family for yourself and for your family. I believe most parents would agree.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry about your dad and I hope he makes a full recovery.

If I was a parent in this situation I would have understood whole heartedly why you fell behind and I would not have been angry in the least. I think your Principal is over reacting some. He’s probably just flustered about the whole thing because what his teachers do is a reflection on him.

As for his question, “have they all received their copy of the new IEP?” I personally would not have been offended by that. It could mean he trusts that you sent them out, but that doesn’t neccessarily mean that they received it since the USPS is not always 100% reliable. Also, it could be that he’s just nervous and neurotic and he’s just trying to calm his nerves by asking you to reassure him that they were sent out. But you work with this guy, so you’d know him…

[Anonymous]

hpaterniti-you seem to be very resposible. In NYC, where I work as a speech-language pathologist, IEPs are not written up on time more of the time (ok, that sounded weird). I would not pay attention to the principal’s comment. They’re known to cover their behinds (in NYC, anyway). So concentrate on what’s more important in your life right now, your family. I hope your dad feels better soon. If you have a good relationship with the parents and they’re understanding (I’m sure they know that you have a life outside of the school), I wouldn’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Hi Holly,

Being the parent of a special ed child (although only preschool special ed so far), I can tell you what I think.

First of all, if I got a letter in the mail saying you had a family issue etc…, I would have been FINE with the delay. In Connecticut, though, we help determine the goals as the parents, not the teachers in isolation, so why are you having to do the goals prior to the PPT? We all come, parent(s) and teachers, to the meeting with proposed goals, and then utilize the ppt to decide what is the best goals for Dylan. We do not expect or want the teachers to write the goals without us. Only then, after the PPT is the IEP officially written and we all sign and retain a copy. The IEP usually follows in the mail within a week.

I am not sure the Principal meant to be offensive, but rather just cover his butt incase anyone called him (another parent, etc), so he could have documented in writing from you that they were sent out.

I am sure you are an extremely responsible teacher. My husband is a high school English teacher, (I am certified Math, but not currently using my certification right now) so we have both seen these issues from both sides of the coin. I would not worry too much what the principal meant by the e-mail. He could be taking heat from the superintendent for other non documented issues, so it could have nothing to really do with you why he asked that question.

I am sure that most if not all of your students’ parents will be understanding, and the ones that are not, well, you do the best you can.

Hang in there and know that you made the right decision to be there with your family when they needed you regardless of who takes offense.

Ann Marie

[Anonymous]

Hope that your father is doing better. Sorry to hear that your boss is being less than supportive- it only makes things harder to deal with. HUGS.

[Anonymous]

I’m really sorry to hear about your dad. When my mom was really sick, my principal was really understanding. It’s unfortunate that yours wasn’t.

In my current position, I fall in the gray area between teacher and administrator, which means that I see a lot of interesting things and hear things from both sides of the issue. Personally, I think that you’re right. You have a history of being responsible and that should carry a lot of weight. However, I’m wondering if there is a back story that you’re not aware of. Like, maybe there are other people who have consistently had a problem finishing their IEPs and he feels that he has to come down on all of you the same way (even though you obviously had a unique situation). I don’t know. It’s a stretch, I know, I’m just searching for some sort of explanation.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this!! How is your father doing?

As a regular education teacher…I don’t see what the big deal is (with your principal…not you). It sounds to me like you have been VERY thorough in ALL of your communications with both parents and your administrator. Our spec. ed. teacher is a bonehead and most of the time there are several things not being completed on time or even correctly to begin with. I would be THRILLED to have a teacher like you who is so open with communication and efficient at completing all paper work. Man, one mistake and you’re receiving all that grief. It’s not fair to you. I would try to let it go (MUCH easier said than done, I know) and continue to do the great job you’ve been doing all along. The fact that this has hit you so hard just says to me how much you VALUE your position with the school and how much you truly care about your job and your students. I think it sounds like you’re doing a great job. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

I want to thank you ladies for all of our kind words. I ended up talking to our union rep about this situation. I told her that I called both the SPED teacher and the parent. So what she said is that I should go in and just let him know how I handled it and that I apologized. So I did go in and told him exactly what she said I should let him know. Let’s just say that he did not look at me, which I thought whatever…….and I did not suck up to him nor would I. I have also realized that I have 2 really great friends where I work and who I can really trust with my life……I have changed my mind about some others and I am now just going to go in and do my job then leave. I am so tired of this back stabbing…..this is worse than high school.

I guess you can say that I have re-evaluated who is a friend and who is not. I am still VERY hurt, but I can deal with that. My one good friend there said it the best “Holly, administrators will come and go, but we will be here longer”. And she is right!!

Again, thanks ladies for listening and for the kind words.

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