Why is this so hard?!

[Anonymous]

Before having Brian, I did not know that taking care a baby can be sooooo hard, and try to get a baby to eat can be sooooo much harder. The first year of his life is a rough start, we went to numerous specialist and ped appointment because his medical problems and eating problem. Now he is 13 month old, but things has not getting better. I can never go out except his md appointment, because I spend whole day at home and try to feed him. My husband and I usually only have 10-15 min for dinner, then we need to take him for med, after that I use 20 min to prepare his meal, and use another 30 min to feed him. Sometimes I just feel so sick and tired of this life, I really want someone to tell me that things will get better some day!

[Anonymous]

Sharon, to answer your question “why is it so hard”, I think the answer is because they’re sick and have a disease. I think that having a baby is always a lifestyle adjustment, but nothing like having a baby with GERD. Hopefully you will be lucky, and if you decide to have more, your next one will not have reflux- you won’t even believe how different it is. I wish I knew for sure that it gets better, but even though I’m really just hoping, I believe that it will. And when that happens hopefully I won’t be too old and grey and tired that all I’ll want to do is nap!

Things are certainly exhausting and rough, but after seeing my older daughter grow before my eyes every day, I try to “keep my eye on the prize” as my husband says. I relish the thought that one day I will have another wonderful child who comes up to me and plants wet kisses on my cheek, and says that she loves me for no reason at all, just because I’m mommy.

I know it can be hard, and I too wish that I had my “old” marriage, and not a business relationship of running the house and taking care of the kids, but I believe that one day we’ll have that again. As for going out, I don’t remember the last time I did it for pleasure, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to again. But when things are terrible, I always try to be thankful that I was given this child, who will one day, no doubt, be the absolute joy of my life, and certainly the biggest accomplishment I’ve ever achieved. Hang in there…when they’re eating us out of house and home it will all be a distant memory.

s&h’s mum2006-2-22 17:32:32

[Anonymous]

It does get better! I promise! Dh and I were just discussing how different things were a year ago and how much better they are now. She is still a challenge to feed, and we worry every time she refuses to eat or does something that might mean that her reflux is acting up. Most of the time, though, she is just your typical toddler — loving, frustrating, and amusing all at the same time. I can’t say when it will improve, but it will!

[Anonymous]

Taking care of a reflux baby is so far from the normal baby stuff! If I would have had Matthew first, I think I would have gone nuts. My hat’s off to you. I don’t think I have experienced eating aversion to the degree that you are. My two boys have been slow gainers but will still eat (with varying success). I will say that when I decided to not harp so much things improved and I relaxed. I am sure that is more difficult to do when your child has a true aversion. BUT I think you do need to get out there and try to do “normal” things. I spent most of Matthew’s first year telling everyone no. No we can’t do that, we can’t go there and I sat at home getting more depressed. I finally got out there and he did way better than I thought he would and it did worlds of good for me. Just remember to care of yourself and your marriage 🙂 Both need extra love and attention when you have been in such a stressful situation. I pray things improve for you very soon

[Anonymous]

i know how you feel. i actually felt like at 13 months, things were at their worst and i hit rock bottom. i would cry every time hannah threw up or refused to eat. i could only feed her in front of the tv. i raised the issue repeatedly to our gi (who is wonderful) and she told me repeatedly that refluxers “just take longer” to catch on. she said that around 15 months things would turn around (with or without feeding therapy, which we also were in). funny thing, she was right. so for the timebeing i know that won’t make you feel better, but that time where things get better is practically around the corner.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way! When i was pregnant no one talked about reflux babies and i had no clue it would be like this! Our ped gi says that he should be better by 18 months old (that seems like forever away). I know it will get better for all of these babies. I will be praying for you

[Anonymous]

I too have been in your shoes. Like Becky said, at 13 months this just seem to get worse not better and I had to cry on her shoulder multiple times and pray that Alexis would follow Hannah’s footsteps. Also like Kim said dh and I do comment on how much better Alexis is now compare to a year ago. Yes, we still struggle to feed her but at least now I think we are just battling with a toddler who just doesn’t feel hungry (unfortunately that was how dh was as a child) and doesn’t like to eat due to her past history. It is still very frustrating spending up to 1 1/2 hours to try to get 2 chicken nuggets and an applesauce into her, but I guess it could be worse. I’m waiting for the day when she is a teenager and all of her friends come over and eat me out of a house and home, I have to remember then not to complain since she is actually eatting and feel blessed! It will improve, every child at their own pace slow as it maybe but it will!

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for the respond and understanding! Beside GERD and eating problem, Brian also has urinary reflux and developmental delay (in gross motor and language), all those things make me sooooo overwhelm as a first time mom. It feels like I just got off the infertility roller coaster, now I get on a reflux roller coaster.

Lori – I did want another child (a girl), but I do not even dare to think anymore.

Becky – thank you for sharing your experience with me, it does make me feel better. Brian also has ST to help him with eating every week, but ST session has not make any difference. Did Hannah’s therapy help her with her eating?

Sue – my DH was a poor and picky eater until he was a teenage, so I do believe that Brian’s eating problem is kind of in his gene, when Brian does not eat, I often blame on my DH .

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