Infantreflux.org | How long does non-eating phase last

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August 24, 2006 at 9:36 pm #12231

Anonymous
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Several Mom on the forum mentioned that their toddler all goes through non-eating phase, I would like to know that how long does non-eating phase last?

Brian was eating well for two months, now he is not eating again, he says done after a few bites, it is so depressing to see him eat.

Sharon Liu2006-8-24 21:36:41

August 24, 2006 at 9:51 pm #12238

Anonymous
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Sharon, I don’t have anything to make you feel better, but I sure do know how you feel.

I’ve been getting philosophical about Hailey’s eating (or should I say lack of eating lately). I hate having to always worry about Hailey’s poor eating, and watch every bite of food that she takes in. See how she’s so slow- another kid will shovel in 20 macaroni noodles in the same time she’s eaten one. Why don’t other parents have to do the same thing with their non-refluxers?

Anyhow, it got me thinking… a friend of the family has the skinniest kid you’ve seen. He’s almost 3 years old and weighs not quite 27 pounds. He’s a very healthy good kid, but just an awful eater. When he was a baby, his mother used to tell me that “he never eats”, and I used to say “Oh, yeah, Sarah’s a bad eater too”. Well now after having Hailey I understand what she truly means, and realize how annoyed she must have been at comments like mine (that Sarah, my 24 pound 1 year old, didn’t eat!). I just saw them a few days ago, and I actually saw him eat a few bites and then say he was done and refuse to eat anymore, and his mother told me that it’s a struggle to get him to eat a few bites per meal. She also told me that he used to spit up a ton when he was small, and so I started to wonder if he was a former happy spitter and that’s why he’s a bad eater. He was always extremely low on the growth charts, but the docs never worried about it, and the parents didn’t like it but never worried about it either.

Anyhow, I started to think why am I constantly worried about how little Hailey takes in. Maybe if I just stop counting each pea she eats, then she’ll eventually regulate herself, even if that means that she’s always going to be a poor eater. She might eat more at some times, and less at others. But my worrying about it doesn’t help things.

Well, I know that doesn’t help, but it’s just what I’ve been thinking about lately. I don’t know how long they can go on the non-eating phase, but hopefully for Brian it passes soon. At least he was eating well for a few months, so you know that he can eat well when he wants to. Hang in there. I know how exhausting it is.

August 24, 2006 at 11:32 pm #12246

Anonymous
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as long as your childs weight os ok—–don’t fret so much about how many bites they take. toddlers will go through times when all they will eat is a couple of tablespoons——that looks like next to nothing when you put it on a plate. i think that you might be more likely to create long term eating problems if you fuss too much about their eating now.

lori, i saw hailey’s pictures——she is adorable, as is sarah. hailey looks like a little butterball—what does she weigh? i think you gave yourself some really good advice—-quit worrying about every bite she takes—–if she hasn’t already, she is going to figure out that eating is a real manipulative tool for her to use with you.

some kids are just picky eater. my oldest was HORRIBlY picky!! i used to hold chocolate chips in from of his mouth so that he would open it, then i would quickley stick in a bite of food. he was always skinny and a picky eater—-he is still a picky eater at 25.

sylvia will be 3 in about 1 1/2 months and she only weighs 27.5 lbs.

she’s not eating tons these days, but she’s healthy.

August 25, 2006 at 9:42 am #12267

Anonymous
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I totally agree. Sharon, how much does he weigh? Is he losing?? When Emma stopped eating solids(I mean completely stopped) she was living on formula. She was taking 30-35oz of formula and this lasted for about 3 months. When I took her to the GI she told me to lower her formula down to around 12 oz a day and she will eat, well she did, but it is only a few bites at each meal, of course the GI said not to worry. Emma maybe gets 10oz of formula a day. After I lowered it so much she really isn’t interested nor is she interested in food. BUT she is not losing weight, she is very active and maintains her weight very well. Some kids just don’t eat much, just make sure he maintains his weight.

August 25, 2006 at 9:50 am #12271

Anonymous
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Sharon, Seth has started to pick at his food and has been throwing it on the floor again. I think he is getting his two year old molars and is getting over a nasty stomach virus so I hope that’s all it is. It is so frustrating. I was hoping we were over those days. I am offering him all kinds of things at dinner and he is just not interested. I keep telling myself he will eat if he is hungry but it is worrisome. Hang in there and hopefully it is a phase for both of us!

August 25, 2006 at 11:00 am #12277

Anonymous
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Sharon,

We have gone through these times and we are now and they are very trying. As I mentioned in an earlier post this week, Brodie has been chewing up his food and spitting it out, he will say he wants something, only to take a bite and then spit it out. I was weighing him every other day to make sure he was maintaining his weight, but stopped, because I was just making myself nuts. He is getting his 2 year molars so I know that’s part of it. I wish I had more info for you, but it will pass at some point and probably return again too. It seems to be a cycle for toddlers. I always say, I wish I had a kid that loved to eat!!!!! P.S. I think Lori had some excellent advice, that I am going to try to use! And yes, Christine, I have to agree, Hailey looks like a butterball!!!!

August 25, 2006 at 1:18 pm #12290

Anonymous
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Sharon,

Didn’t you say in another post that Brian had diarrhea recently? He’s probably still not feeling his best. It’s the body’s way of healing to lower the intake during and after an illness; especially a digestive/intestinal illness.

August 25, 2006 at 2:15 pm #12303

Anonymous
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Kaelyn’s phases last anywhere from a few days to a week or two. It’s so hard to know. I think that Lori had great advice. I was always a picky eater. For years during the preschool and elementary stage, I only gained a pound for every inch that I grew. I was a skinny, skinny child. But so much pressure was put on me to “just take a few bites” that I hated mealtimes. We went to a family counselor (for unrelated issues) and they suggested that my parents stop stressing about food. The whole dinner atmosphere changed and my brother and I started enjoying mealtimes. Now, being too skinny is definitely not my problem.

August 25, 2006 at 3:39 pm #12313

Anonymous
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I also grew up being painfully skinny- I was constantly made fun of, and adults always used to comment about how awful I looked. Now, middle age spread has kicked in (just around my middle for some reason), and I find that I’m always strategically holding Hailey to hide my midsection. Anyhow, my mom never used to pressure me to eat, but I guess I felt a pressure, and so I used to hide food (in the bathroom cupboard, in my bedroom closet)… gross (and wierd, I know). I did eat a lot, I just burned food really quickly.

I think that Hailey is the opposite… she lives on air it seems. Yes, she has grown well despite all of this. When I tell people about the feeding problems we’ve had, they give her the once over, and look at me like I’m nuts. She weighed 22lbs at a year, and just about a pound more now at 15 months. It’s not her weight that’s my issue, just her awful pickiness and terrible volume. But I can’t seem to do anything about it. I think for her she’s gained well, thankfully, on formula. But that’s still where her calories come from (she gets 16 oz a day now), but I’m stold that’s considered normal and not too much. The feeding team wants to cut her down to 8oz, but I know that she won’t eat more despite that. She just eats like a bird… yesterday she literally had a 4oz bottle in the am, then nothing until lunch, lunch was 4 peas, 3-5 macaroni noodles, half a strawberry, a quarter grape, a baby spoon of ice cream, 3 oz fomula at 2, nothing until dinner, and then dinner was basically the same as lunch plus 3 oz of soy milk, then a bottle before bed and a night feed. All of her bottle feeds are still sleep feeds. That’s a typical day for her. But I can’t help feel that it’s not healthy. That she doesn’t eat enough to get the nutrients she needs. As for how she gains, I have my theories, but I don’t want to post for certainty that you’ll all think I’m certifiably nuts. I do know that I don’t want a lifelong battle on my hands, and often wonder how these issues will translate when they get older, which is why I’m going to toss our food journal and pray for the best. Sorry Sharon, didn’t mean to hijack. Hope that Brian is eating better soon.

August 25, 2006 at 3:55 pm #12316

hellbennt
Keymaster

ok, now you’ve piqued my curiousity as to how she gains…

my guess would be that she has a very slow metabolism…that’s MY guess & I can’t take the credit for it- my niece (non-refluxer) was sooo picky, too, & my sister kept her on the bottle longer, too…and she was a buddha baby- when she became a toddler and ‘stretched’ out- she lost her belly but still had the ‘puffy’ dimpled wrists/hands and pudgey face…anyway my sister’s guess is metabolism…

August 25, 2006 at 4:10 pm #12318

Anonymous
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Okay, I don’t know why I’m doing this (I’m sure it will discredit anything I’ve ever said that was normal), but…

Yes of course she must have a slow metabolism, but for Hailey it has to be more. She eats so little. Every time we go to see someone from a feeding team, they calculate her caloric intake needs (thinking I’m going to realize that she’s getting more than she needs hence the reason she’s growing), and come back telling me that she’d not even taking in half of how much she should be getting. At one point, she was literally taking in 12 oz of 30 calorie per ounce formula, and that was it.

All right… divine intervention. Yes, I know it sounds crazy, and I’m partly joking. But before I got pregnant with Hailey, I was visiting my grandfather (who was 92 and who we all adored) and he told me that I was going to have a baby soon who was going to be named after him. For that to happen, would mean that he would have to die, and since Sarah was only 8 months old at the time, and my sister was next in line to have a baby, I didn’t think much of it. Well sure enough, I became pregnant when Sarah was 10 months old, before my sister did, and I knew that meant that my grandfather was going to pass. He went into the hospital a few weeks after I announced my pregnancy, and died a month later. When Hailey was born, it was like my heart was finally healed from the loss, and I felt his spirit with us again. She was named after him when she was 4 days old. When the feeding problems started and the nightmare continued, I used to get mad, and wonder why he wasn’t helping us. Why Hailey was going through this, why we were all suffering, and I’d pray for him to watch over her and to help us. I prayed that she wouldn’t need the tube, and I think that he’s been there as her guardian, sort of. So I know you all think I’m crazy now, and I’ll probably come back soon and delete this bizzarre confession so no one else can see it, so hopefully you read it before I lose my guts (or regain my sanity!)

SORRY TO HIJACK, SHARON!!!

August 25, 2006 at 4:55 pm #12323

Anonymous
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I definetly do not think your crazy!!!! Emma weighed about the same when she was Hailey’s age and she eats about the same. When you were explaining how much she eats, that is Emma to a T. For breakfast it is a couple bits of cereal, lunch is a couple noodles, maybe 2 bites of hamburger (or hot gog), at nap she takes about 4-5oz of formula. Dinner time she is usually never hungry, maybe a few bites of something and then bedtime is 4-5oz of formula and thats it. Every once in a while she will snack on a couple of those finger graham crackers. I so understand how you are feeling. But my mom always reminds me that she will be OK and that I survived after being super thin when I was younger (not 20 lbs until almost 2). I just have to keep telling myself that she will be fine b/c as a mother you are just so worried that they are not healthy. Hang in there Lori, you are doing a great job!!!btrue2006-8-25 16:56:59

August 25, 2006 at 10:26 pm #12349

Anonymous
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Thank you everyone for the reply!

After months of pushing him to eat, I am able to bring his weight to a good place in the chart, but I am really worried that if he doesn’t eat, then he will lost weight, and end up with a tube. That is why I am so obssesive with his eating, but after seeing your reply, I feel better knowing your toddler does go through non-eating phase too.

Lori – Thank you for the advice and telling us Hailey’s story. I remember you mention on another forum that feeding therapist is going to d/c Hailey soon because she has adequate feeding skill, so did she d/c Hailey? Does Hailey eat better when the therapist is there? Our therapist is going to decrease the session to twice a month, Brian really eats well when the therapist is here, and he even tries to use a spoon to self feed when she is here, but when she is not here, he hardly eats anything and only bits on the spoon, what a stinker! I am planning to video tape while he is eating and show it to the therapist.

Brady – Brian only knows how to eat soft pieces of table food, he doesn’t know how to bite off a piece of bread, don’t even mention hamburger or hot dog, how did you teach Emma to eat those food?

August 26, 2006 at 8:42 am #12356

Anonymous
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Sharon, I wouldn’t worry about the tube at this point. All of our docs have said that in order to need the tube now, they would have to have months and months of no weight gain or a very significant weight loss. Especially now that they’re toddlers and they don’t really gain much anyhow. I know that doesn’t really help because I still worry about it too. How much does Brian weigh?

As for feeding therapy, we see her again next week, and then that’s our last visit, unless I can convince her that we still need her. Which is why I’ve been keeping the food diary. She seems to think that the amount that Hailey eats is on the low side, but fine. Hailey doesn’t eat better when she’s over, and I think actually even does worse if that’s at all possible. But lately her new thing is that you can’t get a spoon or anything near her and she wants to do everything herself. She won’t eat ANY meat, no cheese, no bread, no purees, only corn and peas, throws mostly everything we offer on to the floor at the first glance. So I know your frustration.

Sharon, for those kinds of foods (like Bread, hot dog, hamburger), you should cut them up into tiny bite size pieces- so that they can’t choke and let him pick them up that way. Another option is to cut them into long skinny strips. Few kids that age know how to take a big piece and take bites.

Brandy, glad to know that we’re not alone in having a child who eats like a bird, though I wish that Emma was eating better for you. It is maddening sometimes, especially when you make food only to have them reject it.

August 26, 2006 at 2:49 pm #12374

Anonymous
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Hi Sharon and Lori – I haven’t been around in a long while, but happened to check in today and saw this thread…first, Sharon – Lori is right – you can take the tube off the list of worries – a toddler would have to be really, really underweight and undernourished with no hope of turning things around to even consider a tube. So – congratulations – you made it! He’s a happy, healthy toddler! The way he eats, or how much he eats, may not seem “normal” to you, but the more you can leave it up to him the easier it will be on everyone. Lori – so glad to hear you’re giving up the food journal! It is incredibly freeing! I have a confession though – I didn’t throw mine out! I hid it in a file drawer for years, and look at it now every once in a while – it is a lot easier when the child in question is a 90lb 10 year old! When Andrew was in the hospital hooked up to all sorts of stuff, and the monitors would go crazy, the nurses used to say “watch your child, not the numbers!” If he looks ok, he usually is…same with food – see the child, not how many bites, ounces, or calories they consume. See that they look good, they are active, and they are happy…it makes it a whole new world…

And I don’t think your theory is crazy at all re: your grandfather…there’s more to this world than what we can see and touch!
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