Did having kids change your relationship with DH?

[Anonymous]

I was just interested if any of you thought that having kids changed you, as a couple.

[Anonymous]

I said it made us better, but not at first. We had a rough go for a while when they were babies. Sleep deprevation and health issues can take an enormous strain on a marriage, and it definitely did on ours. I would say, now we are stronger than ever but Dylan is going to be 5 and Carter is going to be 2, so we are getting past this real baby phase, and almost loosing them each at seperate times, we know how lucky we are and how much worse our lives could be. We are very fortunate, and it took a while to get here and appreciate it, (and don’t get me wrong, we can still have a good argument as we are both pig headed) but we are a stronger couple now than we ever have been.

[Anonymous]

I voted that it made us a better couple, although I’m not sure if I’d really say better. I think it’s more that our relationship is different. In some ways it’s better and stronger (especially after working so hard to double team Kaelyn during her tough reflux days). But the stress of having two little ones has definitely created hard times as well.

[Anonymous]

I voted that it made us worse.. but things are getting back to normal now “i think”… it was rocky for a long time because of the reflux/colic rollercoaster..

but i would love to know if he hadn’t had issues.. if we still would have faught more??

sometimes i think it was the stress from the issues..

[Anonymous]

Definitely hasn’t helped our relationship. I think we’ve lost the “us” in the struggle to help the kids. We definitely need to find that again.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t vote b/c our situation doesn’t really fit. Our relationship is different b/c I feel like we’re just two babysitters who care for Sarah. So, our relationship is different but not b/c we fight…because we lost the “us” like Lori mentioned.

[Anonymous]

I voted for yes, that it did make us a better couple, but I have to agree that it’s just a lot different now. I had very serious complications the week after I gave birth, and if my husband hadn’t brought me to the doctor’s office, eventhough they wanted us to just wait at home by the phone for his nurse to call us back, and make the doctor see me, I could have died. I was immediately admitted into the hospital, and they did emergency surgery on me as soon as possible. I think that, as odd as it sounds, actually really strengthened our relationship. It was almost “until death do us part” and we realized that. I’m not saying the reflux didn’t kick us in the a** more than a few times, or that we don’t have our moments now that we could use a little more “us” time, but I think having gone through that, everything was put into perspective. We’re also lucky in that we do have a couple of family members around who are always happy to watch Dagney every so often when we need to do something together, or just need to go have dinner just the 2 of us. Now we’re even trying for #2–if you’d asked me in the couple of months following her birth, I would have said that 1 child was enough! dfb052008-01-24 19:35:57

[hellbennt]

I voted that we’re the same. but maybe we’re a bit better?

or, a bit worse as now we can add arguing about the kids/parenting to the list of things to argue about, lol…

but no, we’re pretty good. we definitely make time for ourselves, which we find to be important. we have date night (almost) every saturday night…w/o that, it’d be rough bcse we’re so busy during the week- work, home, dinner, bath, bed, computer (), tv, bed, morning rush to get everyone fed & then out the door…

so on that lovely note, dh is at work (late meeting) and now I’m off to eat my dinner w/ my best friend, Tivo (LOLOLOL!!!)

[Anonymous]

We are definately better. I don’t know how it happened, but we both seemed to lean on one another throughout the tough times with the kids’ GERD, MFPI and intolerances. It seemed to strengthen our relationship for me to see him become a great dad and for him to see me become a mom. We are definately each other’s biggest supporter, best friend, and pillar of strength! But we could certainly use more “us” time – anyone know a great babysitter??

[Anonymous]

I voted that it made us a better couple. I have to say though that the reflux tore us apart both times and then we had to come back together.

[Author]

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