Do you feel the same?

[Anonymous]

We’re doing much better now as a family with her reflux (I’m lucky to have a very supportive and understanding husband). We’ve learned how to deal with it without being stressed out too much. DH is so afraid to have #2 now that whenever the subject comes up, he says “no kids for another 10 years”. I’m not getting any younger so what is he talking about??

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean. I would like to have another, but I will have to do a ton of convincing of the DH since of course it is hereditary… I’m not the one that age is the issue. My dh is 7yrs older than me and if we wait too much longer he will be 40, not that that is old, but it is hard to keep up with the lack of sleep for me now and I am only 30!!

[Anonymous]

With our first 2 refluxers, I don’t quite know how we got through it, but those memories are so far gone. Carson and his daily occurances leave us RAW with memories, but I figure, if I have to do this for a couple years to get a few great kids, it is worth it! After one child with reflux/allergies/intolerances, you are very aware when the 2nd comes along and what to do about it. You skip over the Zantac. You raise the head of the bed BEFORE they are even born. You opt for samples of Nutramagin instead of regular formula at the doctor’s office. It is hard – but if they are in my life for 50 years, those bad 2 years is only 1/25th of that time. It is easy to rationalle, but nonetheless, IT IS HARD. When thinking of having another ==== Big Decisions!!

[Anonymous]

Oh, with respect to having another one…give it a little time. Our second son came sooner than expected (22 months after our first), so colic was fresh in our minds (we didn’t know our first had reflux), so we were SO scared. What a nice surprise when he came along and actually slept! Although the reflux caused him to have sleep apnea, so that part wasn’t good, but it was so refreshing to have an infant who actually slept. I was never sleep deprived with my second.

Fast forward to now with our 3rd biological son, and I think I could rewrite the definition of sleep deprivation! I have never been so tired in my life…although as some of the others have mentioned, I’m also older this time around (33 to be exact), so I’m not handling the lack of sleep as well as I did in my early 20s.

Believe it or not, this awful memory will fade as you begin to enjoy your baby more in time (when the reflux starts to go away). You’ll be amazed at how you actually can forget about this somewhat. You’ll never forget how hard it was or be able to go back in time and have a happy baby, but at least you will be more prepared if you decide to have another one since you know all about reflux this time, and perhaps you will be lucky and have a baby without reflux! Wouldn’t that be a blessing?

Take care

[Anonymous]

wow- this is all bringing back the memories of those early days… and yes i feel soooo cheated. and am i still mad as hell… yes sometimes i am.. but its rare now.. I really needed to grieve it for awhile..

what so irks me is those who think they understand( i know they are trying to be kind, but….) but have no clue… ” my son used to spit up sometimes too” hah! SOMETIMES?.. how about 20-30 times a day? EVERYDAY?…. ” oh he’ll be over it by 3 mos old..”… thanks.. can you get me that in writing? blah blah blah… stuff like that irritates me , especially when people really discount the severity of reflux… one comment that really really really and i mean REALLY ticked me off was a comment made by a couple of family members of mine ” yeah , I heard you werent adjusting too well…” and ” well , its a big change, you had your freedom for so long, and now..”… ok.. I dont freaking care about my freedom… if that was an issue i wouldnt have gotten pregnant… and adjustment issues? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ADJUST WHEN MY BABY IS IN PAIN AND I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT? How can anyone adjust to that? This whole reflux thing has really made me more aware of what I say to people when I think I am trying to be supportive… because sometimes is just doesnt come out that way…

And yes I am soo envious of those who have no feeding issues with their babies… but at the same time thankful that there is one less baby that is going through it..

sorry for such a long post.. I guess it still gets to me at times..

KimM

[Anonymous]

momof4 wrote:

Believe it or not, this awful memory will fade as you begin to enjoy your baby more in time (when the reflux starts to go away). You’ll be amazed at how you actually can forget about this somewhat. You’ll never forget how hard it was or be able to go back in time and have a happy baby,

I don’t mean to minimise anyones experience, my heart truely does go out to you, but this statement resonated with me. I have been so lucky that Alana was reflux free at 9 months, truelly blessed. And whilst I remember the early days (and that I nearly had at least a dozen nervous breakdowns), they don’t resonate with me emotionally in the same way that they did a few months ago. Hopefully that will be the same for you in a few months time

[Anonymous]

riley turned three in march….when he was three months old, i was at a party where the hostess had a three month old little boy as well. at one point, she was with her son and looked a little harried. i had been talking to her and saw this, and said, ‘so, don’t you love motherhood?’ (sarcastically) and she turned to me and said to me with complete sincerity, ‘of course, don’t you?’

i laugh now because i can, but back then things were so hard. i was so jealous of other moms who had easy-going babies….or babies who didn’t cry all the time! i’ll say it again…boy was that HARD.

i look at my little angel now and miss nothing. you will find this time, and you will relish it. the only regrets i have are not listening to my heart when he was so desperately trying to tell me what he needed. i was too busy listening to everyone else! i’ve learned to drink in this sensitive, funny, sweet, delicious little blessing.

these sad feelings you are having about the past will fade away and you’ll be left with all the wonders of the present. until then, hold tight!

[Anonymous]

Diapering at 4:00 A.M.

i saw a calf born once

it really was amazing

how soon (all tidied up by tongue)

he wobbled off,

and the new mother

went back to grazing.

but you, my little creature

at the top of the animal kingdom,

you would lie in the pasture for months,

and wave your fists and cry.

and so here we are,

you and i,

tied all together in all

the bathings and the dryings,

the pickings up and the puttings down,

and the turnings over,

the dressings and the undressings,

and the powderings and the feedings,

and the cleanings up of the comings out.

i know–

i know what it is all about,

this disguised blessing of unavoidable touch,

spinning a thousand threads

that encircle us like little lariats.

and before you know it,

we’re caught.

calves come for going.

but not–not my little ones.

the lord thought it all up,

this essential intimacy.

and he called it good.

he created the heavens and the earth,

and the seas, and the naked, needing

infants crying to be held.

he thought it all up,

this clever stratagem.

and yet—

i’ll bet he smiled

when he thought of diapering at 4:00 A.M.

carol lynn pearson

kevieb2007-07-20 10:05:19

[hellbennt]

beautiful!

did you write that christine?

are you a poet and we don’t know it?

[Anonymous]

i didn’t write it. it is by carol lynn pearson—-i guess i should edit that and put her name at the bottom. i received one of her poetry books as a wedding gift 25 years ago. i found it the other day and cried as i read through it again.

the poem just seemed so fitting with this thread.

i remember starting a thread with a theme similar to this several years ago.

but……i USED to be a poet. i almost always had a notebook and pencil with me and often had a poem in the works. at one point in time i wanted to be a writer. my senior year i was asked to write a poem for our high school graduation. it was printed on the back of the program and i was asked to read it as part of the graduation ceremony. i have written very little since then. life just kind of went a different direction, i guess. i would love to start writing again, but i’m not sure if i can find it in me again. i started a children’s book years ago, but got distracted and lost the notes. when i mentioned it in the teacher’s lounge at school once, the librarian asked me what was keeping me from writing again. shortly after that, i found some papers on the floor at home. when i picked them up, they were the notes from the children’s story—–i hadn’t seen them in years and didn’t know where they had been or how they ended up scattered on my floor—–almost like a sign, huh?

sorry for highjacking.

[Author]

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