High needs baby or reflux???

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have gone round and round about how to deal with our son Cody’s problems. He is 9 weeks old and weighs 11 lbs. He is milk and soy intolerant and also has reflux. He currently is on Nutramagin since 2 weeks old and 7.5mg of Prevacid for the last 2 weeks. We definitely have seen some improvement. Cody is having much better days and nights, but on and off. The problem I need help with is that Cody is sooo use to being held during the bad days and times, that even when he is having a good day, he still fusses to be held. You know how you can tell if it is a painful cry or just a hold me cry. Well, this is driving my husband crazy!!! We have a 10 year old son who when through the same issues as Cody, and I held him ALL the time and he is still a very needy child. My husband feels that he is this way because we let him control us. Cody is not a self soother like my other son. This weekend, on a good day, I had been holding Cody for a long time and I put him in his crib while I ate lunch. He cried the whole time. My husband wanted to leave him to let him know that we were not going to pick him up just because he cried. So we let him stay in there for an entire hour…he screamed the whole time!!! As soon as I picked him up, he stopped crying within 3 minutes. He was fine and he won according to my husband. I agree, but I couldn’t leave him in there any longer. Any thoughts or suggestions?

[hellbennt]

lots of thoughts.

I personally don’t think holding a baby makes them needy.

I am VERY INTO holding my babies- in fact, I’m REALLY INTO

babywearing http://www.thebabywearer.com/forum

and both of my sons are VERY independent boys.

So, I believe it’s all about personality- the whole ‘nature vs nurture’ thing…

I think there are some babies that don’t really WANT to be held- they tell you by squirming to be put down.

Your baby is uncomfortable. 7.5mgs of prevacid is more than likely not enough. http://www.marci-kids.com will show you this as will the other posters here on this site…

I am truly sorry your husband is not on the same page as you…I am very very lucky that my husband saw what babywearing did not only for our baby(ies) but for US…

I think this link has more: holding baby often https://www.infantreflux.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5793&KW=dr+sears

I am glad you found us!

I hope we can help support you!

~laura

[Anonymous]

Hi there. Sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time with your son. I remember those early months and it was hard. Hailey also cried a lot, and really wanted (or needed) to be held almost round the clock. I had a hard time at that age deciphering between wanting to be held because of pain and just wanting to be held, so I wanted to make sure that I covered all the bases to make sure that she wasn’t in any pain. I have a few questions: First, is he tolerating the nutramigen or is it possible that he needs a formula like neocate? Secondly, I’m wondering if his prevacid is doing the trick or if he needs a higher dose. 7.5mg/day is really on the low side, so if you think he might be in pain, you definitely have room to move upward on the dose. What form is it in? If it’s the solutab or the packet, then it’s best given on an empty stomach and followed up with a meal 30 minutes later.

Beyond that, if you’re sure that he’s not in any pain and that he’s crying just because, then my best suggestion would be babywearing! I got a good sling and popped Hailey in and carried her around the house when she wanted to be held… she was happy and the sling freed up my arms.

My advice here definitely comes from my own biases views of babies at this age, but I’m really a big believer that you can’t spoil a baby at this age so I personally never worried too much about that. I also don’t believe that they’re old enough to manipulate at that age or that holding a baby a lot when they’re young will impact them negatively for later on, but as I said, that’s just my opinion. I held my older one a lot, and she’s Miss Independent, and I also held Hailey a lot, and she’s more timid and clingy. I think it’s just their personalities.

That being said, if you think he’s just “fussing” but definitely comfortable, then you might want to look into the book/video “the happiest baby on the block” by Harvey Karp. He talks a lot about fussy babies and offers some suggestions to help soothe them. Have you tried swaddling, rocking, or shusshing? These are some basic things but they sometimes help. Maybe you can enlist some extra help so that you can get a few minutes away. I know how exhausting it can feel to have to hold a baby all the time, and I always felt that when I got away for even half an hour, I felt better able to cope with it when I got back.

For all things related to reflux, you might want to check out Laura’s intro stickied under the introduce yourself forum. It’s very long, but full of tons of great info related to reflux.

Welcome to the site. Hopefully things will get easier soon.

[Anonymous]

Hi and Welcome,

I or someone else held Cooper pretty much for the first 4 months of this life unless I was fortunate enough to have him sleep in his crib, which didn’t last for more than a 2hr stretch at a time. That being said at almost 8.5 months he is very independent and will let you know when he wants to be held and makes it very clear when he doesn’t. I don’t know how he will be when he is older, but I felt that holding him vs letting him scream was my only option. Also about the meds, we started at 7.5 and went to 15mg split up into 2 doses and after much prodding with my GI he agreed to let me try 15mg 2x/day and that is when I had my happy baby which was at about 4 months. So I would push for a higher dose as it does sound like he is in pain. Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have a lot of advice. I went through the same thing w/Audrey. She had to be held constantly. It is much better now, though. She got much better at about 3 months–when she was able to start to play with toys, or watch baby einstein.

We swaddled alot and also put her in car seat and put that on top of the dryer. The slight motion rocked her to sleep. We put it on the fluff mode so it would not get hot. Plus our dryer is right in the hallway by our living room so we could literally see her the whole time.

I agree w/pp. I would call the gastro doc and see about upping that dosage. He needs some relief and so do you!

[Anonymous]

Both my girls were held a lot as babies – especially Kaelyn — and they are both incredibly stubborn, independent little girls now. So, I’m with everyone else, I don’t think that you can spoil them.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. I’m a first time parent with a 4.5 week old and still learning how to deal with what we think is reflux.

I’ve read a few books (the baby whisperer, baby whisperer solves yoru problems, the lull-a-baby sleep book) recently that discuss spoiling. Mainly their comments are in regards to holding/rocking/nursing a baby to get it to sleep. The books do encourage holding a baby while he/she’s awake however and specifically mentions that babies that are held more when awake, or have more skin to skin contact are less fussy? or so that’s their theory.

I guess we have a tricker time though, and that if what everyone recommends is to hold a reflux baby upright for 20 or so min after feeding, then she’s almost always going to fall asleep on me like that. This I feel like could develop into a bad sleep habit for us, but at this point I’d just like to see her not spit up all the oz. that I just fed her, and not have her screaming in pain.

Any thoughts or suggestions on holding your baby upright after feeding and this developing into the only way she’ll sleep? mamori2007-11-05 15:53:32

[Anonymous]

Hold your little one as much as you need to and want to. Babies need to know that you are there for them, it helps build stable and independent adults (this is in fact supported by lots of really good research rather than just old wives talk!). Of course there are times we just need a break as well, a few minutes breather…thats OK too. There were a few times I have had to put Alana down for awhile and just take a break.

I have stopped listening to other people know…apart from the ladies on these boards of course

I held Alana a lot until her reflux was under control…know I wish she would let me hold her more….but she is of…miss independent!

[Author]

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