How do I handle this???

[Anonymous]

I had the dr’s appt today and he told me that considering my history (having Ariella at 37 weeks) I could have this baby next week. Now, my question is… How do I handle being away from Ariella for those days I’m in the hospital?? She’s so attached to me. My inlaws tell me that whenever the phone or the doorbell rings, she runs to the door/the phone screaming “mama”. I’m afraid she won’t take it well, being away from me for more than 24 hours. I know I’ll be heartbroken. Every time I think about it, my heart aches. At the same time, I don’t want her visiting at the hospital b/c I know she will not want to leave me there and when it’s time to leave, will most likely have one of her crying episodes. Any suggestions??

[hellbennt]

I don’t have much to say…all I can think of is for you to start telling her the story of her being born over & over & OVER again…like:

“my belly got bigger & bigger and then it was time for you to come into the world! So I went to the hospital, had a sleepover, and then I came home with YOU. We had the carseat in the car and the crib all ready! You were soooooooo small! I held you & rocked you & held you some more. Daddy held you & rocked you & held you some more! You sat in your bouncy and your swing and slept in the crib. You cried and we held you! we LOVE you so much!!!”

something like that. Just so she gets ‘used’ to the story, of how the story will unfold. Going to the hospital for a sleepover, etc…then how she gets to be a BIG SISTER and how you and daddy (& everyone) have SO MUCH ROOM FOR LOVE IN YOUR HEART(s) to love Ariella and a baby. WE LOVE ARIELLA!!!!

[Anonymous]

I like Laura’s suggestion. hehe

I just wanted to add that my biggest anxiety was leaving Kaden. I know that it doesn’t resolve your problem by you hearing it, I just wanted you to know that he was fine. It was probably harder on me than him. He was also very attached at that point in time and I had a prolonged hospital stay with a c-section and he was fine! Totally entertained by grandparents, daddy, neighbors, etc. He did come to visit and seemed to understand more when he saw the baby. Also, he baby got him a gift (small things wrapped up) and he was more accepting. It is hard to be away from them, but soon the hospital stay part will be over and you’ll all be home together as a family.

[Anonymous]

also, you could get her a gift from the new baby….. We did that for Dylan and he loved getting a gift from his new brother…

[Anonymous]

Jill, I hope she handles it well. She seems to get very excited around babies so we’ll see how she does once she hears one crying.

Ann Marie, a gift is a good idea. A little bribing never harmed anyone (hehe, just kidding).

[Anonymous]

Oh Marianna, in our house we say that bribing is a very under-rated parenting tool!

We have a responsibility chart with a reward at the end of the week if Dylan earns all of his magnets for each thing each day. Some are brush your teeth, get dressed, be nice, use the potty, etc…. Make your bed. and then he usually gets something small, or it is an outing, a trip to the children’s museum, pizza at the restaurant (a favoite for him), but nothing too big…. If you think about it, it is all bribery, but his behavior is really curbed if all we have to say is something like “don’t you want to earn your “BE NICE” magnet?”, and he really keeps himself in check….

[hellbennt]

oh yes! we had a gift, too! jonah was on a “How Does a Dinosaur say Goodnight” kick (it’s a book), so when I was at TJMaxx & saw a “How Does a Dinosaur” book, I bought it & wrapped it & gave it to him at the hospital, telling him it was from Ari. He still refers to that book as the one from Ari!

We also use ‘bribery’ around here- I say “little boys who make good choices & decisions earn surprises & treats!” (that’s the guidance counselor coming out in me, LOL!) SO while we don’t have an official chart (I’m too lazy to make one & haven’t bought one yet), we have plenty of chances for surprises & treats to be earned.

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