How well does your infant sleep?

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone,

I’m attempting to figure out how much of Tess’ sleep problem are reflux related, how much is “normal” 2 month old behavior and how much is stuff we should be trying to nip in the bud, so to speak.

Tess has never slept anywhere except in someone’s arms. For the first few weeks of life we were able to hold her in a variety of positions and she would sleep several hours at a time. Gradually she started to prefer being upright on our chests and her daytime sleep went to he!!. Then we figure out that she had silent reflux. She would still sleep OK at night (2.5-4 hour stretches) but always on our chests. If we try to put her down to sleep (crib, swing, carseat, bouncy seat, anything) she will start squirming and wake up within minutes. If we wait until she’s in a deep sleep she might last 10-20 minutes before waking up. Doesn’t matter if she’s swaddled, on her back, on her tummy, on her side, inclined, flat… she just doesn’t stay asleep.

We went and saw the most useless GI today and after doing nothing for her reflux he basically told me we were spoiling her by holding her so much (we have to hold her most of the time that she’s awake as well to keep her from fussing) and that we needed to start training her to sleep on her own. From what I’ve read and my own personal feeling is that she’s too young to CIO, even if we wanted to do that. And there’s no way we could sleep train her without lots and lots of crying.

I’ve been saying all along that I think she’ll sleep better once we get the reflux under control. I was hoping to start down that road today but this specialist was a complete tool. But I do worry that, as time goes on, if we don’t start getting her in her crib (or somewhere!) then she’s going to be used to sleeping on us and we’ll be in for a much bigger battle. We have the Tucker sling/wedge and at this point she’s not crazy about it. I keep trying it, though, even when she’s awake – like after she eats.

Can you tell me your experiences with your reflux infants? When they were really little (< 3 months) were you able to just put them down to sleep while they were still awake? Did you have to get them to sleep first and then put them down? Were they like my Tess where you had to hold them all the time? What it different after the reflux issues were resolved? TIA!

Karen

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness you have just described my son Grayson. The only difference is that he will be 4months on the 17th and I am afraid that he has developed habits that I may not be able to break. In the evenings when he is ready to go to sleep he will have nothing to do with anyone but me.. cries for me and then once i get him he snuggles in and goes off the sleep. He doesnt sleep anymore than 1-2 hours at a time(big improvement) but if I am not holding him.. forget it. It is just like your Tess. I didn’t mean to “butt in” on your post but I am in the same boat.

[Anonymous]

Oh, how sad that the doctor told you you’re spoiling her! As a doctor, he

should know you can’t spoil a 2 month old baby! Your daughter is just a

few days younger than my dd, and I can’t imagine letting her cry it out,

especially when you know the reason she’s crying is because she hurts

and needs you. I can’t tell you what’s “normal” but I can tell you that we

also have nap issues. Julie sleeps in bed with us at night, and sleeps well,

but during the day she sometimes has those short 10 minute naps, even

when we are holding her. I’ve assumed it has to do with her silent reflux,

although since she usually wakes happy, although with a start, I’m not

sure. You’re doing what you need to for your daughter – comforting her,

letting her know you’ll be there for her when she’s in pain or feeling

yucky, and loving her.

[hellbennt]

OH MY GOD! I get so mad about spoiling a baby!

don’t get me started!

Jonah had severe GERD and could NOT sleep for like the 1rst 3 months of his life- it was a nightmarrish blurr…

babywearing SAVED US Babywearing: https://www.infantreflux.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1044&a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;a mp;PN=1

until we got the MEDS RIGHT, & then it continued to save us!!!

Even WITH the meds ‘right’ jonah was a terrible napper until he was 18months old…(don’t give up hope- he slept great at night!!)

hang in there!

SPOIL THAT BABY

~laura

[Anonymous]

Yeah, your ped gi is atrocious. You CANNOT spoil a baby by holding him or her, no matter what age. You CAN do permanent damage to your baby by ignoring her needs and tending to her when she doesn’t feel well. And at 2 months . . . .

I could write a book in response to your question, so I’ll try to restrain myself. Have you watched the video for the Happiest Baby on the Block? I’d be shocked if you didn’t find some help there. Seriously, it was a lifesaver for us.

Ally didn’t take naps outside of my arms until she was much older, maybe 5 or 6 months. At night, she slept in a sling on my chest until 6 weeks and then in a swing or Amby bed until 4-5 months and then in our bed after that. The strategy that I take for sleep is to do whatever I can to encourage good sleep–teach her to sleep first and how to sleep later. I won’t lie, it was awful and exhausting and her first 6 months are a big ugly sleepless blur in my head. I honestly can’t believe that I survived it. But now, she’s a good sleeper. Not great, but consistent and adequately rested. And I’ve never CIO and I’ve held her ALOT ALOT ALOT.

My advice to you is to forget what anyone says to you and listen to Tess. What is she telling you that she needs? As her mom, there’s no better expert. If you meet her needs, she’ll work the rest out in her time. I’ll also suggest the No Cry Sleep Solution for good ideas about reading sleepy cues and using routine–even if she’s not sleeping well now, you can set her up to sleep well later. It will happen, the thing you need to figure out is how to refuel yourself in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

we held sylvia almost 24 hours a day for the first 2 months of her life. i tried to let her cry once——our ped she she didn’t think that a 2 month old baby needed to cry it out. we did nit see any improvement until she went on prevacid, and even that was mininal. sylvia needed surgery to correct her reflux and repair a hiatal hernia. after that she still didn’t sleep……we went on to deal with a few other health problems BUT—–we were able to get them figured out and treated and she is such a better sleeper now.

[hellbennt]

Importance of routine: https://www.infantreflux.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2802&a mp;a mp;a mp;PN=1&TPN=1

[Anonymous]

Kaelyn didn’t sleep on her own until her reflux was at least somewhat under control. She slept on top of me at night until she was 9 weeks old, and only napped in our arms until she was 8 months old. You can not spoil a 2 month old baby, and I totally understand not being able to put her down. We couldn’t put Kaelyn down on her own for months!

[Anonymous]

My son was so bad that it got to the point that he would no longer sleep in my arm either by 2 months of age. I was forced to let him CIO at 3.5 months old (he also had surgery on his esophagus and soft airways that I had to worry about while he was screaming in his crib). I HATED it and it totally broke my spirit that I couldn’t do anything to soothe my baby. But surprisingly after screaming for almost an hour straight, he would nap for an hour and then at night, he would sleep a LONG time. Once he started sleeping, that’s all he wanted to do. He needed to catch up on sleep because he hadn’t napped for 2 months! To this day he needs more sleep than other children his age. I just wanted to say that CIO won’t hurt them. I had no other choice, and I’m glad I did it, because when he’d wake up – he’d actually smile and be happy for the first time ever! and I could actually put him in a car seat without him constantly screaming or give him a bath without him screaming the entire time. Here’s the catch, you have to look for very subtle signs (not obvious at all) of your baby being tired. My son would only be awake for 15 mintues before he was ready for a nap, and if I missed the window of opportunity and kept him up for an hour, he wouldn’t go back down for a nap!!!

I think for some reason, reflux babies can’t fall asleep on their own and this is how the entire cycle gets started – they never show signs of being tired! To this day my son will never yawn or rub his eyes or “look sleepy”. He’s bright eyed and bushy tailed ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I think he may be on crack – JK!! I always have put him to bed WIDE AWAKE since he was 3.5 months old.

lansima2006-3-8 15:37:25

[Anonymous]

You have described my daughter for the first three months after we brought her home. I could not put her down for 2 minutes. I remember pumping (she was a preemie), eating, and using the bathroom while listening to her cry the entire time. I remember thinking, “It’s okay, I deserve to eat supper, she can cry for a few minutes.” The only time she stopped crying was when someone would hold her. She would sleep at night, however, in her bassinet. But naps – you can forget it unless someone held her. There were days I didn’t have a half hour for myself. The only thing that provided relief was reading “The Happiest Baby on the Block”, where I learned how to put her in the swing (asleep) and then she started taking 2-3 hour naps in the swing. (It did take awhile for her to get used to the swing as well, first only 1/2 hour naps).

Not sure what changed, but the colic ended around 3 months and also we switched to prevacid solutabs from the compounded form, and suddenly she was a happy baby. Although she still will NOT nap unless held and even then she does not nap well. Seems to have trouble falling asleep on her own. We’ve read all the sleep books, none have helped her. She squirms and fusses as soon as she sees the crib! If she does fall asleep in the crib, she is awake within a half hour and looks tired all day. We are trying a modified form of cry it out, but she is 5 months adjusted age – I wouldn’t have tried it any younger.

It is so hard with a reflux baby because you are concerned that maybe they are in pain, plus we have set up habits of holding her constantly that I’m sure are hard to break at this age. She is used to being cuddled up to a warm body to nap and it must be hard to let that go! But when she was younger, we really didn’t have any choice but to hold her, given the reflux and colic, and I just laughed at any doctor who told me otherwise.

Megan

Mom to Mary, born @ 27 weeks 6/28/05

[Anonymous]

Thanks to everyone who has responded. It really is hard when you don’t know if they’re in pain or not. I have a follow up question. We’re now on the Prevacid solutabs but I think it’s still too early to tell if they’re going to work (only on day 5). Things certainly haven’t gotten worse than when we were on the Zantac but they haven’t gotten better either. Anyway, on to my question…

When we’re trying to get Tess to sleep she will often start squirming around and burrowing her head into our chests (moving it from side to side rapidly). Sometimes this eventually results in a burp, after which she will eventually settle back down (although not immediately). Other times nothing ever comes of it. On very rare occasions she will spit up (she has silent reflux and has never spit up much). Now when she spits up I know it is related to her reflux but what about the other times???

I ask because this is the main thing that is hindering her sleep. It makes it very hard to get her to sleep. She will drift off only to wake up again 5-10 minutes later with this routine. This pattern will repeat for 30-60 minutes; fall asleep, 10 minutes later squirm, fall back to sleep, 10 minutes later squirm, etc. Only once she’s in deep sleep are we usually “safe”, although it has happened once or twice even then. If it’s not due to the reflux I find it odd that she is having to burp sometimes 2 hours after she last ate but then what do I know?

We would like to try to get her to sleep in her crib (or somewhere other than on us) for at least some of the time but if these episodes are due to her reflux I’d like to wait until we get it under control. Otherwise I don’t think we stand a chance. As it is they wake her up even when we’re holding her but if we sway, ssh and pat her we can get her back to sleep. On her own I don’t think she can do it.

So what do you think? Is the squirming always a sign of a reflux episode, even when she doesn’t have obvious signs (gagging, coughing, etc)? Or is she just a squirmy baby? TIA!

Karen

[Anonymous]

Karen, that sounds just like my son Grayson. He “scrubs” his face against me while turning his head and then arching back only to do it all over again.He too wakes up doing this and can only sleep while being held. We have just went to Neocate and many things seem better but his reflux seems even worse.I can’t tell you if that is what causes them to do this routine but I can tell you that your not alone..and maybe someone else can shed some light for both of us.

[hellbennt]

the rubbing the head into you thing has been posted about & there is speculation that it is a sign they are uncomfortable- imagine if acid came up your throat and into your nose- you’d want to rub your nose, too? (like haven’t you had an itch in your nose and you use the palm of your hand to smoosh up against by your nostrils and rub to kind of itch it?)

[Anonymous]

I never associated the head rubbing thing with reflux, though it’s an interesting thought. Both my refluxer and my non-refluxer have done this. Hailey does it a lot more than my older daughter, but I always thought this was because we have to hold Hailey a lot more. My older one is past that stage now. I have read in some books (when I used to have time to read parenting books) that it is considered a normal sleepy sign- like rubbing your eyes with your hands, and that babies will do this when they are trying to fall asleep. I wish I could remember where I’ve read this so I could give a reference. If I get a chance, I’ll take a look.

[Anonymous]

Graysonsmom – It’s nice to know that my kid isn’t the only one who does that, even if we don’t know why.

Laura – It definitely makes sense that it would be in response to something bothering them. My husband has been arguing with me about it as he thinks she’s just a squirmy kid. But I think there’s more to it.

Lori – I thought about that too but since she squirms and even grunts when she does this I wasn’t sure if it was in the same vein as the eye rubbing thing. My oldest daughter used to rub her head and eyes (sometimes really hard!) while we fed her a bottle when she was sleepy but she didn’t get all fidgety. I’m guessing we’ll never know for sure.

Karen

momtotess2006-3-10 9:28:42

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