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November 19, 2009 at 4:43 pm #64609AnonymousInactive
For the past 6 months I’ve been suffering from panic attacks. I was hoping that it will resolve itself but it hasn’t. It is becoming more of a problem that it was when I first started having them. So I finally decided to make the time to go and see my physician. He listened to my symptoms and said it’s anxiety and quickly offered the solution: MEDICATION (Ativan and Lexapro). My HUGE concern is this: I’M AFRAID MY BODY WILL BE DEPENDENT ON THEM. I’m afraid I won’t function without them. I don’t have an addictive personality and I can’t stand meds but if that’s the only way to control them…He also recommended I go into therapy to help me resolve panic attacks without the medication eventually. He reassured me that the medication is to help me to get back on track and that’s it’s temporary but I’ve heard tons of stories about how people were on medications and with time didn’t get off of them but rather got a bigger dose and couldn’t function without them. I’m not asking for your input b/c I understand that it’s a pretty personal subject and not everyone wants others to know about such issues. But if you do want to PM me, or reply on here, I’d greatly appreciate it.
P.S. It wasn’t easy to type this up but I figured if I was going to pour my heart out in therapy, might as well start practicing here.November 19, 2009 at 6:51 pm #64625AnonymousInactiveHugs Maianna. I don’t have experience with meds, but hopefully others will reply. Maybie kevieb can help a bit. I think you’re very brave to pour your heart out here. We’re all here for you and hope for the best for you to feel better. You can always come here if you need support, or someone to listen. Hang in there.
November 20, 2009 at 12:51 am #64628AnonymousInactivetake the meds!!!!! you don’t wnt to get to the depths of depression and anxiety i have been to—it’s not a nice place to be. if you can get it under control, you can avoid a total breakdown—which is really hard to come back from—i know, because i have been there. i would have been suicidal if i hadn’t been too afraid of that, too. i remember thinking i would rather die than go on feeling like i was feeling.
it sounds like a good combo of meds the doc is giving you. ativan will help the anxiety, lexapro will help depression—but also keep you from needing TOO much ativan.
dependency is the last thing you want to worry about right now—-you want to concentrate on getting well.
i started having anxiety attacks when i was in the 5th grade–but nobody knew what they were then. i was becoming agoraphobic, but somehow managed to pull myself out of it and function normally through jr high and high school. i then had a complete breakdown when i was pregnant with my 3rd baby—and they told me i couldn’t take anything. i went into a permanent state of derealization for about a month. i could see everyone and hear everyone, but i felt like i wasn’t really there. it was a very frightening state of mind to be in. with medication, after my baby was born, i slowly got better. i was on antidepressants for about 9 months and xanax for over a year. then i had my twins and felt more on top of things than i ever had.i have struggled off and on for the last 20 years with these problems. the last two years i have come the closest to having a nervous breakdown since the one i had 20 years ago.i just recently got on some meds that have pulled me out of my depression!!!! i can’t tell you how good it feels to not be crying almost every day for no real reason—or for reasons i should be able to deal with.i am taking 10 mgs celexa, 5 mgs abilify, 2 mgs clonazepam every evening, and 2mgs xanax if i happen to have a breakthrough crying spell or if i get really shaky from the meds. i also take vyvanse (ideally around 4-4:30 am along with my fibro meds) then i can wake up around 5 am without pain and with my brain working—i have been loving getting up and having some time to myself. since i take the vyvanse so early, i take an adderal in the early afternoon.i am also on hydrocortisone for adrenal insufficiency adn thyroid meds and DHEA.right now i am the best mentally i have been in over two years, but my fibro didn’t improve with the depression improvement—so now i know they are separate issues.i know this was long and i rambled on and on, but i hate to see someone suffer with this kind of thing because i have been there—more than once—and know how difficult it can be.i had a therapist i really liked, but had to quit going when kevin lost his job. we saw a marriage counselor through our church just 3 times and he had kevin read a book about ADD. he told kevin he needed to understand what was happening with me. it was an eye-opener for kevin and helped him to understand why i do some of the things i do, and that i don’t mean to do some of the things that irritate him.email me or pm me any time you need to—nobody wants to go through this kind of thing alone.there is hope—-i haven’t had an anxiety attack in years. i did feel a little anxious one day when they were first trying me on medications again—obviously i didn’t stay with that one!!LOL!!November 20, 2009 at 7:42 am #64629AnonymousInactiveThank you for replying.
Christine, have you ever tried anything “homeopathic”? Yoga? I’m willing to try the meds but only if nothing else is working. I’m calling the therapist today to schedule our meeting. I honestly can’t believe that I’ll be in therapy. No offense to those who’ve been there but I just never thought I’d be doing it.November 20, 2009 at 7:44 am #64630AnonymousInactiveOh, and now that I think about it, I’ve had them for as long as I can remember. There were just never a constant thing like now. And I was agarophobic at one point too.
November 20, 2009 at 9:51 am #64631AnonymousInactivei think i have tried taking extra B vitamins and taking fish oil—–i did ALOT of walking after ian was born—lost the 40 lbs i had gained with him in about 6 weeks.
i am actually considering trying yoga or tai chi, except i want to try them for my fibromyalgia, not depression and anxiety.our bodies become “dependent” on alot of meds we take, but that isn’t the same as addiction—-but you probably already know that. i think you are most concerned that you won’t ever be able to get off of them.that is always a possibility, but if it did happen, it would be because you needed them to balance out your chemical systems, not because you were dependent on them just from taking them.i have had periods in my life when i did not need them, but over the last 20 years i have needed them more often than not.exercise and a good diet are supposed to make a difference—i have not given either one of them a consistent try for a long period of time. if i get started, i usually end up slipping and “falling off the wagon.” i think i’m addicted to sugar! more seratonin is actually made in your digestive tract than in your brain.i am taking abilify to augment the celexa. celexa worked alone in the past, but then when i tried it again later it didn’t work. i recently read that abilify has the ability to either increase or decrease the particular chemical it affects (can’t remember which ones) so basically, it personalises itself to your needs.sometimes i think that doing volunteer work or doing things for someone who needs help can help with these kind of problems too—i think i forces us outside of ourself so we don’t dwell as much on what is going on inside our brains.it is surprising how many people have these kinds of problems. i was in the health club the other day and just struck up a conversation with an older woman. somehow panic and anxiety came up and she said she had the same problem. i don’t like alot of loud noise or bright lights and am very sensitive to how things feel. i think there is a connection to these things since they all seem to involve the central nervous system. i was diagnoses with ADD when i was 40—and it is a neurological problem—which i assume involves the central nervous system. got to get kids off to school—be back later.November 20, 2009 at 9:44 pm #64641AnonymousInactiveMarianna,
the 2 meds your doc is talking about are great meds that you should be able to wean off of once you have been on them for awhile and have been in therapy and have been able to get to root of what is causing the panic attacks. I have panic attacks to but they are mild and usually only involve the fear of flying.. I take Xanax for that b/c it is so fast acting and clears the system quickly. I hate taking meds as well but if things are at the point that i sounds like they maybe this is the best thing for you and your family. Depression/panic/anxiety are scary things.. they run heavy in my family and I know how stressful it can be on the family members even when you don’t think it is affecting them. For the sake of those 2 precious little ones I say do it and do it fast. The sooner mommy is back to normal the better. Good Luck and know that we are always here if you need us.
November 21, 2009 at 11:43 am #64656hellbenntKeymasterhi marianna,
lots of good advice here!
I haven’t been on meds, well, like Beth, I take xanax to fly and I actually was ok w/o it when flying when breastfeeding, but now that that’s over I take it when flying…anyway, I HAVE been to therapy at various times in my life and I am one who actually LIKES it! for me, it’s almost like a ‘mental health spa!’
I like rambling on to someone who isn’t judging me and whose job it is is to try and help me see ME. I also like getting help in expressing myself so that if/when I need to explain to dh what is going on, I can. For me, I like going when I need to bcse usually at the point when I feel the need to go, I’ve been dwelling on issues & talking to dh about them and then HE would start to feel like I was blaming him somehow and really I just wanted him to listen…as for yoga: go for it! I actually like yoga, but to be honest, it’s hard for me to sit still- ok I’m not ACTUALLY sitting still, but I mean it’s hard for me to stop thinking so much when going from one pose to another and then I start to feel anxious…that’s MY deal, but just sharing..to be honest, I am such a slug (I know I shouldn’t talk about myself negatively, LOL!) that yoga is the only exercise I can tolerate (well, walking is good, too)…I just don’t make time for exercising nowadays (I did this summer when I wasn’t working)
this leads me to hypnosis: I decided to try it this summer, just because it was something I’ve always wanted to try and I finally got a really good recommendation (turns out she’s the BEST in miami!)- my ‘issue’ going in was me not wanting to exercise- is it fear? is it anxiety? is it lack of motivation? anyway: who knows?! LOL! no, really, what I got to is that I feel ‘stuck’ and yada yada there are childhood issues, etc, yeah yeah. SO: did it WORK (the hypnosis)? Well, I’m not exercising, now…but I did this summer…BUT: regardless I thoroughly enjoyed hypnosis!!! now THAT was
TRULY like a spa treatment for me!!! This most likely has to do w/ my personality- I don’t mind ‘losing control’ which I hear a lot when the topic comes up- people saying “I don’t like losing control; I don’t want to lose control!” For ME, it wasn’t about losing any control! for me, it was so relaxing; a guided-imagery vaction for my mind!!!Anyway, I hope you find something that helps you & sorry to ramble on- I hope somewhere in there I wrote something helpful
thank you for sharing and know that we are all here to support you!
~laura
November 21, 2009 at 11:41 pm #64671AnonymousInactiveok, i must be really weird. i have had anxiety problems off and on since i was in grade school—but i can fly in a plane no problem. i love the feeling of acceleration when the plane is taking off.
we also went to an amusement park this summer and there is this ride called the “catapult” that has you sitting in an open metal ball hanging by wires. it throws you up in the air way high and then drops you back down and kind of bounces you back down slowly. you have to pay extra to go on this ride—not sure why because it wasn’t scary like it looked to the people watching. tianna and i did this together.i also loved the “rocket” they take you way up high, and then they just drop you suddenly—-it was such a cool feeling—kind of like free-falling i guess. that was the re-entry. there was also a blast off that sent you up in the air really fast and then dropped back down pretty quick. it actually lifts you out of your seat at the moment the momentum changes. they both have air brakes so you bounce gently to the bottom after the fast motion.now, i have almost panicked when i couldn’t get my wedding ring off when i was pregnant—made me feel very clostrophobic—i got it off, but i bruised my finger in the process. also, the first time i had an MRI on my head and neck, i took xanax before i went and had to breath slowly so i wouldn’t panick. heck, getting braces on made me feel a litttle panicky at first when they put the thing in that holds your mouth open.i guess we all have our things!! i had a therapist that i really liked, but i had to quit going to him when kevin lost his job. sometimes i think i have an underlying negative feeling towards men—but i prefer men doctors and men counselors. i wonder if it is some sort of subconcious desire to find a father figure i can trust.most importantly, you need to be able to function and there is nothing wrong with taking meds to help you function until you can get to a point where you don’t need it anymore.ihave been in counseling several times since i was about 17years old. i went through a period when i had a problem with counseling–i didn’t like the “selfish” period during the late 80’s, early 90’s—but they seemed to get away from that, finally.kevieb2009-11-21 23:45:47
November 22, 2009 at 7:43 am #64677AnonymousInactiveChristine,
You mentioned ADD before. The sensations that you describe sound almost like seeking sensory input. A lot of children find that certain things like bouncing, swinging, etc can actually help to calm their nervous system. So doesn’t sound strange to me.LoriNovember 23, 2009 at 10:43 am #64697AnonymousInactivelori, i have rocked all of my life–since i was a toddler. it is a very calming sensation to me. i like to swing, too. you should see the swing set kevin built at our new house. it is as high as the railing on the second story balcony—–big enough for us adults to swing on. we even got one swing that has a flat seat so that we don’t have to have our bums squished by the saddle swings.
the funny thing, is that i can read and crochet while i rock—i think i have had someone aske me before how i can read. i have just done it for so many years that it is second nature.when i was finally diagnosed—when i was over 40—one of the questionares asked about rocking—that is the first time i have ever seen it on a questionare. when i play the piano, i will kind of sway with the music, too.sylvia rocks all the time—but she does it even when she is not in a rocking chair. when her preschool stood to sing at the christmas festival of trees, she swayed back and forth the whole time. when she sits in her chair or on the ground in a a group at school, she will rock back and forth.i’ve thought for sometime that my central nervous system was messed-up—-but i had not heard what you told me about sensory input calming the central nervous system. i just barely learned that ADD is considered a neurological problem—which helps make sense as to why bright lights and lots of noise bother me–and also the way my clothes feel. if i walk into a room that is really bright and noisy (from a quieter and darker place) i sometimes will immediately go into derealization—as if my mind is trying to remove me from too much external stimulation. i just ignore it, and it goes away.thanks for the input.November 23, 2009 at 10:49 am #64698AnonymousInactiveChristine,
I know you are an adult, but you should read “the out of sync child” (can’t remember the author, but it is really cool and might shed some light. Sounds totally like sensory integration disorder. There is another book called “the out of sync child has fun” that might give you some good ideas for Sylvia. (doesn’t sound like she is having any issues or anything, but sounds like she might really enjoy some of the activities).Hope all is well!Ann MarieNovember 23, 2009 at 6:38 pm #64702hellbenntKeymasterNormal
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mso-bidi-language:#0400;}The Out of
Sync Child by Carol StockKranowitz. Think of it like the Sensory Integration
Dysfunction bible.
It’s a quick read, but very comprehensive.
An excellent web site is the SI Network site at
There are a LOT of kids misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD who
most likely have SID/SPD.
HTH!
There is a book
called Answers to Questions Teachers Ask about Sensory Integration
by Carol Stock Cranowitz et al. I think that unfortunately many may
be mislabeled as ADD/ADHD when there really is an underlying sensory
issue. Though some will have SID & ADD/ADHD. There also is a school
evaluation that is being developed to identifyhow SID affects children in the classroom. They are asking for school
personnel to sign up for the pilot stage.
November 23, 2009 at 7:51 pm #64704AnonymousInactivewhen you all first started talking about sensory integration disorders several years back i wondered if it could be a problem for me. i’ll have to look up more info on it.
we always laugh about the kids complaining about being touched by each other—-sunday at church sammie kept leaning on me. i would ask her not to, she would move, and then lean on me again. after the 3rd or 4th time, i was about nuts and told kevin i had to get up and leave because i couldn’t stand her touching me anymore—-i’m as bad as the kids!!November 25, 2009 at 10:21 pm #64716AnonymousInactiveThank you, everyone for your input and support. I am trying a few things before I finally take the meds. No, I’m not being stubborn. I am willing to try the medication only if all else fails. I am going to find a good yoga instructor and I already found a good holistic doctor (I know, I know, most of us don’t believe in “natural” meds but i’m a strong believer) who said that there is a great new pill designed specifically for anxiety/depression made out of enzymes, all natural with no side effects. I’m sending in my blood work results to him and my saliva (I know, sounds gross) for him to analyze. I’ll keep everyone posted.
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