I just want to scream!

[Anonymous]

So where do I even begin. Cooper of course has his wonderful egg allergy and last year it wasn’t a big deal with preschool but for some reason this year it is turning into a bigger deal than it needs to!! He is at the same school just in a different class. Anyway this year I have been asked to bring in a “safe stash” of treats to keep in the room for birthdays etc… which really irritates me since I have volunteered to either to all the treats for the year or make a “similar” treat for Cooper to have on the child’s birthday if the parents don’t want to make an egg free treat. I understand they want him to be safe, but seriously why does he need to be singled out for every child’s birthday and special event that they have!?!

Maybe I am just hormonal b/c of the pregnancy but this just really touched a nerve tonight when I found out. Sorry I just needed to vent.

[Anonymous]

beth, this is just one of the tough things of life that as mothers are really hard to deal with. i brought a stash of treats that were safe for molly for her teachers to keep when treats were brought that she couldn’t have—-it’s just the way it is. OUR kids have the problem, not everyone elses, and it’s OUR kids that have to learn how to accept that they have a problem that will make certain things in life different for them—such as not always being able to eat the treats that another child brings for their birthday.

getting to decide what to bring for their birthday treat is a BIG DEAL for some kids—it’s their special day. it’s not really fair for us to say that some other child can’t have recognition and a treat he chooses on his special day because one other child in the classroom can’t have it.

i think it is a VERY generous offer to make all the treats for the year, but the other kids need to have their chance to choose what they want, too.

i love the idea of making a similar treat for cooper, but the problem, is that not all parents are organized enough ahead of time to know for sure what they are going to bring—sometimes it is a last minute deal when they get birthday treats—-like on the way to school.

also, in our school district, children are only allowed to bring prepackaged store-bought treats to school—-nothing homemade.

i really hope this doesn’t sound harsh, i don’t mean it to be that way at all—especially when talking to a hormonal woman—i going through major hormonal problems plus the bipolar problems.(talk about a crazy woman) so i understand how easy it is to get upset when our kid have a problem that makes them different—and there is nothing we can do to fix it. i have several breakdowns in the past over my kids having celiac—-and i carry alot of guilt about it, too, for some reason.

the best thing we can do for our kids is to help them understand that they arespecial children, no matter what problems they have, but also help them to understand that sometimes those problems aren’t always going to be easy to deal with.

we have actually started letting molly eat school lunch this year. she is at the high school now and they usually have at least a salad, if not some other things that are gluten free. i think it makes her feel more normal—–and she is probably eating better than the lunches she used to pack. we’ll see how her blood tests come out the next time they are done.

just make sure that the stash of treats you bring for him are REALLY GOOD treats—it just might help ease the feeling of being different. i’m sorry for your heart breaking over this, because even though you didn’t say it is—-i know it is because i live in that world, too. i just keep hoping that none of my other kids get celiac since 8 of my 9 carry the gene for it. odds are, we will have grandkids with it even if none of the other kids get it.

[Anonymous]

sorry for all the typing errors above—too many to go back and correct.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see why they aren’t atleast willing to let you make a “similar” treat for Cooper to have on the child’s birthday if the parents don’t want to make an egg free treat. That seems a little funny. The kid would still get to have whatever it is that they want and in addition you make Coopers. Hmmm…

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry Beth. I can totally understand all of this frustration (and sadness for you boy!).

We went to a b-day party on Saturday where they had cake and also provided little bowls of ice cream. I allowed both of my boys to have a small peice of cake (knowing it would probably have dairy in it) but asked the lady handing the bowls of ice cream out (an employee of the inflatables place) not to give the 2 little boys (and pointed them out) any ice cream please. She turned to me and said “Oh mom, LET them indulge, they had SUCH a small peice of cake” and made a huge big deal of it. Everyone turned to look at me.

I quietly said to her “They are severely intolerant to dairy, please do not give it to them”

[Anonymous]

I think it’s always hard when our kids can’t do something that the rest of the kids are doing. We always want the best for them. But on the positive side, they are trying to keep him safe, and better safe than sorry. With all the anaphylaxis these days, when schools hear “allergy”, they panic. They are probably just trying to protect Cooper and their own liability. In Sarah’s school, they were so tired of trying to deal with this issue that they banned all birthday and holiday celebrations in the school, which imo is a worse alternative. HUGS.

[hellbennt]

I hear you. WE hear you.

hang in there…

hellbennt2009-09-23 20:29:28

[Anonymous]

Yes, we hear you!!!… sorry if my response didn’t sound supportive!

[hellbennt]

[I wasn’t trying to insinuate that anyone wasn’t being supportive. I just wanted to say I hear her and then, after posting that, I went back and added the ‘we’ to it so as not to leave anyone out]

[Anonymous]

I know Laura!… no snarkiness intented!!!

It’s just that after reading your response, I reread my own and realized that I could have been a bit more suportive rather than opinionated. It’s like I tell my husband- sometimes I just want him to agree with him for support even if he doesn’t agree, rather than try to rationalize or solve the problem.

[Anonymous]

Ladies there is never a doubt in my mind that we don’t all support each other! Lori you didn’t sound harsh or unsupportive at all. You said everything I already know. What I was most frustrated with was that they didn’t seem to be willing to let me take the lead with making him treats… luckily that whole situation has been taken care of… Now yesterday when I picked him up his teacher said “He got bitten today, I’m so sorry” my response was “by a mosquito?” She said “no another child!”.. Of course not what I was expecting to hear, but didn’t break the skin and Cooper was so brave! He didn’t cry at all and his response to the boy who bit him was “Don’t bite people!” I couldn’t have been more proud of my little guy… so no more screaming only beaming! thanks for all the support and understanding.

[hellbennt]

[reminds me of when jonah then ari got bitten at preschool- I said It’s because you’re so DELCIOUS! the teachers were happy about my attitude, lol! now…if this was a regular thing…watch out!! grr! lol!]

[Anonymous]

Happened to us with both girls too. In Hailey’s case, the kid drew blood!!

[Anonymous]

beth—your automatic question,”by a mosquito?” was so funny!!! when my twins were 2 years old, i babysat the neighbors’ two year old boy. he went home on a regular basis with bite marks from my girls. i think he referred to them as kassie and the “other kassie.” somewhere i read that kids that bite are usually more social, and twins are usually more social at a younger age than singletons. fortunately, they never broke skin and she kept bringing him back to be babysat.

my oldest son bit another child once at the sitters, and the parents got freaked out and wondered if they should take their child to the doctor. fortunately, the sitter had it all handled before i ever even came to pick my son up—–and as far as i know, that child is still alive.LOL!LOL!

i’m glad you got the treat thing worked out—what did you finally come up with?

[Author]

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