need nightmare help!!

[Anonymous]

Actually,more like I need sleep! After watching a few videos from the planet earth DVD series (which is really neat by the way), Hailey no longer thinks the world is a safe place and is up all night long crying that she’s scared. I’ve tried all possible things to get her to feel comfortable again (night lights, music, noise machine, stories, stuffed toy, flashlight near her bed, prayer, door open, open curtains, etc., etc. etc.) but I can’t rid her of the fear that “night dogs” aka wolves/foxes etc are going to come and eat her. So she wakes once in the night,and then is up repeatedly either calling me in every 10 minutes up to 20 times nightly, or coming to my room if I pretend to ignore her, or walking the upstairs trying to wake people up. A few nights ago I went to the guest room to sleep after b/c dh was snoring too loudly, and then when I woke up to go to work, found her curled up in my spot on the bed, much to my husband’s surprise. He had no idea she was there. She’s relentless.

My question is: Is it cruel to leave her in her bed after I go to comfort her? Is it going to scar her. Or should I let her into my bed (which I don’t want to do after sharing it with her for over 2 years), or sleep on her floor?! What to do?! It’s driving me nuts!!!

[Anonymous]

i don’t think it is cruel to leave her in her bed after you comfort her. after finally getting her out of your bed you don’t want to start something again.

does she have a night light? what about getting her her own “wolf” stuffed animal to sleep with to “protect” her until she gets old enough to understand things a little better.

[Anonymous]

I like Christine’s idea of the protector stuffed animal. 🙂

You have been through so much with Haley’s sleep. I remember how hard it was for you to transition her to her own bed in the first place…and she survived!!! I don’t think she will be scarred if you leave her alone in her bed. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Tough one. Dylan actually sleeps with a full night stand light on! EVERY night. It is like daytime in his room, (I don’t think it is good for him) but he is going through a phase that he is completely afraid of the dark, so we compromise. He is NOT allowed to get out of his bed at night even though he sleeps so little, but he knows he can not come out. I actually put it as one of his “chores” and if he doesn’t do his “chores” he doesn’t get his allowance. Allowance is a motivator for Dylan so this works. If it is not a true motivator, there is no good result. How about if you tell her it’s her “chore” to stay in bed and if she does, she can earn something like if she does it 5 days in a row, you will do a movie or pizza on the weekend, or maybe she can get 20 mins extra on the Wii (not sure if you got one yet) each day she stays in bed all night. Also, sounds stupid, but my kids really like a digital alarm clock in their rooms and Dylan knows what time he can get out of bed (Carter doesn’t really get it as he can’t tell time yet, but he knows the first number has to be a 6)….they like that control.

It is hard to know what is real fear and what is manipulation with my boys. (not sure if it is the same for Hailey) but I feel like now that I have them out of my bed, I really don’t want them back in! (Is that cruel?) I don’t know, but I feel your pain. Let me know what works, etc….as I know a lot of us have some of these issues and all input always is good.

[Anonymous]

ann marie, any chance you can install a dimmer on dylan’s light and slowly lower the light level over time? i guess it’s not his bedroom light—but you could get a lower wattage bulb every time you replace it to slowly lower the light level.

our kids have always tried to pull the “i’m scared” routine on us. kevin lets sylvia go to bed with a movie on quite often. we have one of those portable DVD players and we put it on a nightstand in her room. sammie will usually crash before the movie is done, but i think sylvia usually makes it through the whole movie.

personally, i would like to have my kids going to bed earlier than they do, but kevin and i have some differences of opinion on this—and it’s not worth an arguement. i just feel like i need the time without kids wanting anything from me.

[Anonymous]

Christine, that is actually a great idea! I will do a lower wattage bulb and switch it out even if it isn’t time to change it…..

Carter is OK with the movie thing and is asleep in 5 minutes of watching. But Dylan will stay up and up and up and gets more stimulated with the video so that is a definite no for D….Just depends on the kid but I would try it with Hailey….might just work!

[hellbennt]

I like the clock and the wolf idea.
I have a moby light for jonah and yes he’s six, and yes there are nights when I see that it is on, and in bed w/ him (usually it’s on it’s little charger stand)…also how about a dream-catcher…I have one for Jonah…
his is blue

hellbennt2010-01-15 20:06:25

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the great ideas guys. We’re already doing the sticker reward. Problem is that Sarah insists on the same treatment, so Sarah’s been getting trips to dollarama for prizes up the wazoo, and Hailey’s yet to get one. If they get 5 stickers, then they get a prize. Hailey’s on 3, after a few weeks time!!!

I do like the idea of a protector wolf… she has so many stuffed toys, and a stuffed bear (brownie) from her baby days that she sleeps with nightly, as well as a large blanket that she twirls for tassles instead of her hair, and sucks her fingers!!!… but, maybe I’ll see if build-a-bear has something special like that that we can make.

I offeredto turn her lamp on and her lantern which she can do herself, but she doesn’t use them. We have 3 night lights in there and the street light outside her window, but she’s still scared despite it being bright.

I thought of the dream catcher, saw a kit for the kids to make them and thought it was cute. Instead put a special little prayer book under her pillow that we got from a rabbi when she was sick as a baby. I told her that good dreams will go into her head and it will protect her. She also has a mezzuzah on her bedroom door, so I told her what it was for, and the idea of kissing it, etc. I’m going to look into that light though, Laura. I’ve never seen it here in Canada, but looks great! I’m afraid that movies would be a slippery slope, but we’re going to go out and look for a nice music CD or some kids books on CD (we already have some). Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Going to get a pink mobi light, thanks for the idea.

Anyone had any experience with a ChuChi light… not sure if she’s too old-

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=219737012848

s&h’s mum2010-01-16 07:57:46

[hellbennt]

love the prayer under the pillow and love the mezuzzah idea!
the link for the lighted stuffed animal does look ‘young’ – maybe ask her what SHE thinks..also about rewards- I would n’t make it so long for her to be able to cash in her rewards- bcse its not working for you/her…she needs something more immediate, it seems. now it might not seem ‘fair’ for sarah, but hailey IS younger….plus you have an immediate situation at hand…

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