New weird phase – is this normal?

[Anonymous]

OK – so I don’t know if this is related to reflux or not. Owen is 14 months old and has always been SUPER independant. So much so that I used to worry about autism because he would never want to be held and always wanted his own space. Well, since last Thursday he has become SUPER clingy – only wants to be with me. Cries when my husband is with him, cries when I bring him to daycare, cries when I put him on the floor even if I’m RIGHT next to him. I have to be holding him or he’ll cry.

This doesn’t exactly coincide with our soy trial – I started that on Thursday night, but he had started this behavior in the morning. I stopped the soy over the weekend because we were away for the weekend and he still was like this, and then started again on Monday – so I don’t really see any relationship because we’ve started and stopped and started again and this has continued through it all. He might be teething, but I’m not exactly sure.

So is this normal attachment stuff for a 14 month old? Or is this something else? He did have a cold but that is getting better and he doesn’t have a fever or anything like that. I just am at a total loss – I feel like someone has snatched away my son and replaced him with mr clingy and I don’t know what to do! Help!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he’s just playing a “power” game with you and it’s not that he’s in pain? Maybe just seeing what he can ‘make’ you do?

OR, my son will do that when he is VERY tired (he never ‘looks’ tired by the way). Every time you set him down, he’ll start screaming until you pick him up. He may be extra tired from any number of things. When that happens, I put my son down to sleep and he’ll have to scream it out in bed – which sadly is the only way to expell all that adrenaline that kicked in from being over-tired.

Don’t worry about autism, I have heard many stories that refluxing babies show autistic-like symptoms because they are easily over-stimulated because of their sleep defecit.

[Anonymous]

lansima wrote: Maybe he’s just playing a “power” game with you and it’s not that he’s in pain? Maybe just seeing what he can ‘make’ you do?

I don’t believe that babies play power games with or manipulate their parents, unless their parents play power games with or manipulate them. This sounds like separation anxiety to me. The Emotional Life of the Todller by Alicia Lieberman (which I just read) has excellent information about separation anxiety and how kids go through waves of it throughout toddlerhood. I strongly recommend reading this book. Her advice, which I agree with, is to honor it, support the child through his feelings, and he will emerge on the other side more secure.

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds like normal seperation anxiety/attachment. My ds did the exact same thing when he was around that age. I had to literally pry him off of me when I would try to give him to someone else. If I went to leave the house, he would run up and grab my leg and hold on for dear life. This phase lasted for a couple months, and then was replaced with Mr. Independant. Life with him was a roller coaster. lisaann2006-3-15 10:10:18

[hellbennt]

as usual, I totally agree with Tiffany…

Jonah goes through cycles of clinginess. He is now 2 and will be 3 come July and he’s going through one of those stages.

This too, shall pass

[Anonymous]

Absolutely separation anxiety! Yep, we are going through what Laura called “cycles” too – actually we’ve been through a couple of them already. First, it was me who couldn’t leave the room, it made me feel so good at first and then it got kind of crazy when I couldn’t go to the bathroom without her throwing a huge fit. Next, it was my husband who had to be holding her and that was rough on me because she always wanted him. Right now, she’s pretty independant and I can even leave her upstairs for a few minutes while I go downstairs to throw in a load of laundry. She even waves bye bye and says “see ya” when I go down. It will pass! debit342006-3-15 20:47:38

[Anonymous]

We’ve gone through several of these stages as well. Last week, Kaelyn would take off and play when dh brought her to daycare. She barely even noticed when he would leave. This week, she cries and clings to him as soon as they get there. We’re hoping that this one will pass quickly!

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