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At what age do you normally let your little ones stay over at Grandma’s or whoever’s houses? We have rarely even left Seth in the daytime (outside of daycare) much less overnight because of the reflux. I am asking because MIL keeps hinting about Seth spending the night with her. I think it is still too soon. I keep telling DH I thought it would freak his mom out too bad if he had a reflux eposide over there (it’s scary enough for us to watch) or woke up crying for us. Am I being unreasonable? DH made me mad over the weekend because he told her if it were up to him, Seth could have spent the night on Saturday (it was her b-day) which makes me look like the wicked DIL.
Well, Griffin slept over at people’s homes very soon after birth (6 wks)b/c we were on a already scheduled vacation that we had planned b/f his birth. I was fine b/c he was a “normal” baby. Everything was fine. But it was very hard.
I go nuts when I leave Owen anywhere and we are an “on the go” family, so there are just places we can’t take kids sometimes. The first thing I do in the morning, is call to see how the night went, and I have usually called 3 or 4 times b/f that! Neurotic mom!
Now, the MIL thing will always be a touchy subject, or at least for us it is. I just don’t think my MIL takes care of our kids like my mom does. I never said my mom is better, especially not to DH, but I always say they have different ways. I don’t know for sure what goes on, but MIL always has these horror stories about something that goes wrong and some reason that the kids don’t sleep and she drags them all over creation and then their all out of whack and she expects things to go smoothly from there.That being said, it may be interesting for her to experience what an “episode” is like and hopefully it doesn’t happen. My MIL, still doesn’t really get it as far as what we go through. Most likely if he wakes up and wants you, they will get through it. It’s going to be harder on you then him! You know, you have to figure out what you are most comfortable with as a parent, but most importantly, sit down with DH and say, this is why I’m not comfortable and please support me in this so I don’t look like the bad DIL. Reflux has been the hardest experience of my married life! It has taken a toll b/c even though we both want the best for Owen, it seems we have different ways of getting there!
I always leave detailed instructions of what to do if this happens, etc, how to give meds and when and then a feeding schedule. Hopefully they don’t live far away and the worst thing that could happen is you get a call in the middle of the night!Good luck in your decision. It’s always hard to leave them the first time!My MIL makes me crazy because she only hears what she wants to hear. She stops listening halfway through anything that you are saying. As a result, when Kaelyn was little she was constantly “accidentally” giving her foods that I hadn’t approved yet (because she thought that I was moving too slowly). So, in a way, Kaelyn’s allergies turned out to have a silver lining. She’s now afraid to give either girl any food that I haven’t approved ahead of time.
Despite all of this, she has actually turned out to be a wonderful babysitter for us. She picks them up from daycare almost every day and regularly offers to watch them on the weekends so we can have time together. So… we actually felt totally comfortable leaving Kaelyn with her when Alex was born (so right before her second birthday). And, I would feel fine leaving both girls with her now. However, we haven’t gone anywhere without them and she sees them on such a regular basis that she doesn’t have any desire for an overnight stay!We have been through this too. I’ll tell you OUR experience, but it doesn’t mean it would happen this way for you…
Our boys slept over at their Grandma’s house for the first time when our oldest was 4 and our youngest at the time was 2. The 4 year old did ok. The 2 year old cried for us, and when we called to check on him, he cried on the phone, and we couldn’t go get him easily because they are 4 hours away from us.Every child is different of course, but I learned in my experience that 2 is too young to be away from mom and dad (at least for us). I will not allow my youngest two children to stay at Grandma’s until they are 4 minimum.I’ll also tell you that they had not been away from us much during the day either, and that could have been part of the problem.Bottom line though – don’t feel pressured to do something before you’re ready. You know your child best, and if you feel he isn’t ready, your MIL should understand that. I used to give into mine too much, but now I just put my foot down and tell her how I feel. She gets mad sometimes, but I have to do what’s best for my kids.Good luck!Sarah had her first overnight at my mom’s house last month when we moved. It made the move a LOT easier for us because she wasn’t around. I wouldn’t trust leaving her to stay the night anywhere else right now though. Thankfully my mom is as neurotic as I am so she doesn’t mind when I call 10 times a day and she always gives me the play by play of what happened!
I have recently been letting DH’s aunt watch Sarah for a few hours. Her kids are 6 and 10 and really enjoy helping out with Sarah…but that’s as far as I’ve gone. Sometimes I really feel like I should be more comfortable letting people watch her because her reflux is under control and she IS a good kid…I just can’t let go of the neurotic mom thing!!!! jonah is juat about 4 & I haven’t left him overnight anywhere. when I went to deliver Ari, MIL AND the babysitter stayed at my house to watch him & dh went back & forth the the hospital
aside from then, MIL has never asked to have him & if she did, now at 4 I would let Jonah go. she lives very close so if he freaked out we could quickly come get him…my parents live far away
but if they lived close by I would let them have Jonah and Ari as soon as he is weaned…Hey Laura!! So good to hear from you. I was just thinking of PMing you the other day but did not know if you still logged in. I will definitely drop you a note as soon as I get some time!!
OT (off Topic): I still have jonah using the duplo leggos, ages 1.5-5, bcse I feel they’re safer in case Ari gets into them (they’re in Jonah’s room, but Ari gets into EVERYTHING
)back on topic: I can’t wait for being able to sleep in one day!!!! Sometimes John tries to let me sleep in but it just doesn’t work…one day we’ll be able to leave the boys with someone…sigh…
I don’t think that I’ve slept past seven since Kaelyn was born.
Paul has tried to let me sleep in a few times, but if I wake up after 5:30 I just can’t get back to sleep. So, I get to relax in bed for a little while longer while he deals with them, but I’m not actually sleeping. It’s one of the reasons that I’ve started working out in the morning a few days a week. At least that way, I’m doing something productive while I’m up so early!
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