Ways to stick with it during events

[Anonymous]

Ok, this is a totally pathetic cry for help:

How do those of you
on TED handle events you have to attend? I’m in a wedding
coming up, and tomorrow is one of many bridal showers. I’m a serious,
serious cake fiend….especially good cake. I’m committed to
breastfeeding, truly I am; I just know how hard it is going to be in a
social setting with my best friends and actually being solo and wearing
a skirt (maybe even jewelry, hah HAH!). Sounds like an after school
special about peer pressure….

Anyway, please feel free to slam
me in any way; share personal mantras if you have them. I would greatly
appreciate it, as my little one got 4 shots today, creating a weeping
on top of the already fussiness….poor little monkey!

[hellbennt]

how far along into it are you?

[Anonymous]

Traci,

There is no way to soften it — it is not easy going to social events on TED. I have had the same problem several times (a wedding, an engagement dinner at a restaurant, an after-funeral wake/’gathering’, invitations to people’s houses for a meal/evening, and now a personal shower tomorrow). Social events filled with food are just a plain old test of your willpower and determination to keep your child as healthy as possible. Here’s what I’ve found:

• In environments where everyone is moving around nibbling, always keep a bottle of water or a cup of water/juice/whatever you can drink in your hand. It gives your hands something to do while everyone else is holding plates of food.
• I have brought a sliced pear with me and put it on my little party plate and nibbled on it. If you are able to do the Lay’s chips (made with potato, sunflower oil, and salt), bring a bag of those to contribute or just eat from yourself. If you are making homemade chips, bring some of those to put on your plate and nibble on.
• For dinner parties at someone’s house (or a shower where real food is served), bring your own food and heat it up there. My standard in that situation is the meal I do with bite-size pieces of turkey cutlet, sweet potato, zucchini, squash, and white potato oven roasted with olive oil, salt and pepper. I bring that with me and reheat it. It looks pretty and colorful and people don’t look at me nearly as strangely as when I just bring plain rice and a pear (which is what I bring when I’m looking for sympathy!). 🙂
• The wedding I attended was at one location and the hor-dourves (how to spell??) reception at another. So while my husband was driving to the reception, I ate a snack of pears and ground turkey/rice (heated before I left home and wrapped to keep slightly warm). That way I wasn’t hungry when everyone else was nibbling. I also did the “carry a glass in my hands” trick to keep my hands occupied. Afterwards, I came home and ate.
• A dinner at a restaurant is much harder. I just avoided that situation if I possibly could. The one time recently, I ordered a plain steak (since I have been able to trial beef successfully) and a plain baked potato. If you know the restaurant ahead of time, you could stop by or call ahead during a very slow part of the day and talk with the chef/head cook. (I did this with the restaurant I went to in order to make sure that there would be something I could have and so that I wouldn’t have to interogate the waiter about details he might not know.) If you are able to eat chicken, maybe they would hold out from their marinades or other prep work a piece of chicken to cook it plain for you. If you are eating turkey only, maybe you could even talk with them about you providing the restaurant ahead of time with a still-in-the-store-wrapper piece of turkey for them to cook for you. Many restaurants really work with people with special menu needs – especially if you reach out to them during the calm part of their day. You have to plan ahead, though, and not just show up with really challenging needs. (My dad had food allergies and we got very familiar with how to work with restaurants.)
• Another thing you can do is to become the ‘photographer’ and carry around a camera. Since it is normally too hard to hold a plate of food and take pictures with a camera at the same time, this gives your hands something else to do and no one thinks it to be strange when you don’t have food in your hands.

Best wishes for the wedding activities coming up. One good thing is that after the first couple of events, those in the wedding party with you will get used to what you can/cannot eat and you won’t have to explain it over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Laura,

Tomorrow will be 13 days, eating turkey/chicken, white potatoes, and pears sometimes. I tried rice a few times, and she seemed to react each time with very gassy and irritable behavior.

We are in the very early stages of figuring out what is going on with my DD #2 who is 11 wks old; the only reason I went to the ped was because of bloody streaks of mucous in her stool 2 1/2 weeks ago. We figured the behavior was just infant stuff (my first DD was like this (she is now almost 5), and is allergic to cillin drugs, had to have breathing treatments for a few years, and skin issues….I’m guessing we missed some diagnosis with her too), but now we are thinking there may be possible allergies and reflux (whether related to the allergies or on it’s own). Compounded Prevacid has helped greatly, with painful crying almost gone, some actual NAPPING during the day, and some car trips that she actually didn’t scream the whole time. I’m so thankful!

But the hard part is figuring out what is going on, and while the red blood is gone we are still seeing some brownish streaks we think might be old blood as well as some little black bits. We see a pediatric GI on Tuesday. It may not even be allergies, I just know the reactions I’ve seen in her after I’ve eaten beef and rice….and who knows what else when I didn’t realize there might be a problem and EVERY day was just a fussy cry fest.

It’s so selfish to even think about cheating or quitting just because of convenience; it’s worth a comfortable smiling baby who can grow properly. But I have to be honest when I say I’m missing having dinner with my family and enjoying the invites we have to parties and friendly gatherings. NOT that food is the ultimate for every gathering, I certainly go and enjoy the people; it’s just very foreign to not be able to have a meal together (of the same food items).

traci_snider2007-2-9 23:34:39

[Anonymous]

Traci – You’re right–it is hard. That being said, here is my 2 cents: I recently attended a wedding and was faced with my first big event centered around food. I drank so much water and kept so busy dancing and taking pictures that I hardly missed it… okay, maybe I missed it a little, but honestly, it turned out okay. I smuggled in some pears and a bit of something I had made for myself. Although not everyone at the table knew me, if anyone gawked, I explained that it was food allergies. I didn’t go into the details and just ate my own food happily. I did this for the shower too, but everyone knew me there and knew I was sticking to it for my little guy. I have found with this condition it is best to be far sighted, that is think of what will occur later. Three days after the wedding, my son was still happily sleeping and healthy. Ten days later, same deal… no fussing, sleeplessness, bad bowel movements, crying, and pain. That made it totally worth it! Instead of worrying about the food, I focused my attention on a great dress I was able to wear because of weight loss, something many of us experience on the TED. If you go in focused on the food and drink, it will be a very tough evening; you could end up feeling left out and angry. If you go in focused on the fun, it will make things much easier. Besides, in the past five years, I have been to a few weddings, at least 7. I can think of one in which the food was outstanding–ONE. As far as cake goes, ditto on the one. Just keep asking yourself if the luke-warm roast beef with overdone vegetables is really worth the trouble. Hang in there! I wish you lots of luck. TED isn’t easy, but it is possible.

[Anonymous]

PS… EAT BIG BEFORE YOU GO!!! I forgot to mention that I did that!
Dorothy

[hellbennt]

oh I wasn’t in anyway suggesting you give up! I was just being curious, as I don’t ‘know’ your story…

you’re right about the specks perhaps being old blood, etc & there are definitely mamas who report tremendous results from the TED!!

I’m so glad you’re seeing improvements!

[Anonymous]

Thank you thank you everyone….I’m pumping before I go, and feel confident that I’ll do just fine. Your tips about keeping busy will help for certain, and it’s nice that I’m part of the bridal party.

And losing 7 lbs in 13 days, I’m almost to my pre-baby weight….not the reason for the TED, but hey as mentioned above it is indeed an ok side-effect.

BTW, my little one is smiling and happy this morning…..cross my fingers that she is doing well with Daddy while I’m gone!

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