Don't know what to do with her…

[hellbennt]

so cute!!!

[Anonymous]

Ok, someone please explain the 1-2-3 magic approach! I could use something new for use with Claire.

[Anonymous]

I’m sure that I’m going to miss something, but the idea is that you remain totally emotionless. With Kaelyn, depending on the severity, we remind her what she should be doing. Then, when she breaks the rule, you just calmly say “That’s one.” We give her 5 or 10 seconds, then if she’s still doing it, we calmly say “that’s two”. Now that she’s used to it, we rarely get past two. But… if she keeps going, we say “that’s three” and put her in time out. I set a timer for two minutes (it should be three now that she’s three, but two seems to still be working so I’m not going to mess with it). Then you just calmly let her out of time out.

The idea is to only use it for “stop” behaviors. (like “stop jumping on the couch” – as opposed to “start” behaviors – like picking up her toys) He says not to make them apologize or explain themselves because it doesn’t have any meaning to them. It’s better just to calmly follow through every time and then let them go on their way.

We do time out on our stairs. If she’s having a really off day, we just put her in her room and shut the door. Some days she just sits on her floor and wails until we open the door after two minutes. Other days, she fusses for a little bit and then plays with her toys. I was worried about that, but he says that the point is to remove them from the problem action.

It really has worked wonders for Kaelyn. She is an extremely active, adventurous, independent child. Before we started this, she rarely listened to anything. Now, she usually stops with us saying “That’s one”. It’s an almost immediate reaction.

The book wasn’t that expensive, and it’s a really easy read. Two of my co-workers and my sister-in-law have tried it and loved it as well. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Thanks Kim!! I think I’ll give it a try. We are constantly having to tell Claire things over and over again (selective hearing, you know ), and maybe this will help improve her behavior.

[Anonymous]

i dont have any advice at all 😉 but just wanted to say that i am going through this too! shane is HITTING me in my FACE all the time now!! and kinda scratching me everywhere else.. he totally flips when i say no.. and wont let him do something. i try everything suggested.. and he is still hitting and flipping out… but one positive thing.. is once in a while i will laugh! i know that is horrible.. but when i kind of laugh.. he starts laughing too!!! and never theless while he is still hitting me!!what in the world is he thinking?! i try not to laugh..but he flips out soo bad.. that it shocks me!

well i hope this gets better!! and would love other ideas on how to stop this behavior!

[Anonymous]

Well, we have used 1-2-3 time out for “start” behaviors too, and Ellie (our 3 year old) almost always responds to it right away every time. We have been very consistent in using it though.

I will say that I’ve never read the book. I just always gave her to the count of 3 to comply with whatever I was asking, and she almost always stops or starts the behavior I am asking by 2.

Every once in awhile when she’s in a mood we get to 3, and then there have been a couple of times that even after her 2 or 3 minutes she’ll still refuse to do what I’m asking, so I’ll tell her she can sit there for another 3 minutes. I’ll come back and ask if she’s ready then, and 9 times out of 10 she’ll say “yes”.

There has been 1 time that she refused a second time, so I let her stay there for 10 minutes! I figured if she was willing to stay there it couldn’t hurt her… yes, she is quite stubborn at times, but she’s a smart little girl, and I must be very consistent and firm with her.

I find that this system works very well. Like someone else mentioned, we have put her in her room for time out before if she either won’t stay in the time-out chair or if she is particularly loud and disturbing the rest of the family (this is rare).

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Oh, and shanesmom, about the hitting in the face, etc. Caden is starting some of that too. I just find that instead of saying “no” he responds well to me taking his hand and saying “gentle” and rubbing my face. That way I’m not scolding him or giving him attention for hitting. I’m just trying to show him the right way to do it. Everyone has their own way for handling things like this, but after having 4 kids, I realize that an 8 month old doesn’t have any way to understand that hitting is something bad, and I know he is not purposely trying to hurt me, so the less I draw attention to it, the less he’ll do it (I hope anyway!). Good luck!

[hellbennt]

Bensmama wrote: Ok, someone please explain the 1-2-3 magic approach! I could use something new for use with Claire.

take a wander around here & explore the links- this info is ‘compatible’ w/ 1-2-3 Magic. Hope this helps: http://joanneaz_2.tripod.com/positivedisciplineresourcecenter/id23.html

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