he wants to feed himself should I let him

[Anonymous]

Sharon, I don’t recall the exact time we went to all finger foods but I know it has been a few months (maybe around one year?). We finally just gave in since he just refused the spoon and would only play and make an absolute mess out of baby foods.

To answer your other question, Seth gets his rice milk out of a sippy. He also takes some juice with his morning snack that I did not mention earlier from a sippy. The only thing he still gets in his bottles is Alimentum. That is the one thing he just will not take from a cup.

If it makes you feel any better, Seth was in the 26% (if I remember correctly, it was in the 20s somewhere and down from 36% at nine months) for weight at his 12 month and no one has ever mentioned a tube to us. Ped. and his GI were actually pleased with his growth (GI even said we could drop formula all together).

For snacks, we go with easy things since I have to send them to daycare. Cheerios or some other dry cereal (he likes Life and rice Chex too) with 4 oz/ apple or pear juice and for the afternoon snack a cup of 4 oz. rice milk and some crackers (he likes the Earth’s Best Sesame Street ones or unsalted crackers) or cookies (animal crackers, teddy grahams, graham cracker sticks). I know some people may frown on the cookies but I don’t care since weight is not an issue with him and he only gets a few.

I think I have mentioned to you before that Seth learned to drink from a sippy at daycare (I think by watching the other kids). He also tends to eat better and accept new things more easily there. In fact, I usually let him try things from their menu (if I think he can tolerate them). If he likes them, then I try them at home. I really do think they learn by example.

[Anonymous]

Sharon, I did not mention how I distribute his liquids/schedule as you asked:

7:00 am Alimentum bottle (8 oz. w/ cereal) and breakfast ** he may or may not take all of bottle**

9:00 morning snack w/ juice (4 oz.)

11:00 lunch w/ rice milk (4 oz.) ** this is early to me but the time they eat at school so I try to stick with it at home too**

2:00 afternoon snack w/ rice milk (4 oz.)

5:00 dinner w/ rice milk or water (4 oz.)

8:00 Alimentum bedtime bottle (4 oz. w/ cereal)

[Anonymous]

Hi Sharon,

With all of Brian’s other issues (devel delay & urinary tract), I would make an appt with either the GI doc or pediatrician & discuss this further. They may refer you to a dietician, or they themselves devise a diet for Brian. They can review his growth chart & see how many calories per day he needs to grow & continue to gain weight. A dietician would be helpful, they work around the foods the child likes & helps come up with new recipes & ideas to introduce new foods & higher calories to the child. ECI, First Steps, etc. other state-funded programs do have dieticians.

On a side note, you listed Brian being on Reglan. I in no way want to scare you, but, our GI would NOT put Emma on Reglan (chose Bethanacol & Carafate instead) because of her neurological issues. Reglan can cause neurological side effects, so he didn’t want to risk that. This is something you may want to discuss this concern w/ your ped & GI doc. I have found that I need to be the one that keeps all of Emma’s specialists up-to-date on her latest dx. I make sure that they have my permission to share information with one another.

I do think your concern with Brian’s growth should be addressed by the docs. Yes, it could very well be that Brian is just going to be small, but in light of his other health conditions, I think it’s something that needs to be watch closely by the docs. Emma continued to drop off from around 5 or 6 months of age, & finally is she is on her way UP in the past few months (following gtube). Emma had fallen to 5%, then 3%, & then completely off the charts. That combined with her other health issues, they went for the gtube & fundo. If you can maintain Brian’s weight even at 10%, that may help avoid the gtube. I pray that the docs can devise a plan that will work.

Emma did not get the dx of FTT until she had slipped from 25% to 5% to then completely off the charts. The docs were waiting to see if her growth would ‘adjust’ as sometimes it does. Some kids are at a certain height/weight, then drop, but then stay on that new %. They simply have readjusted their growth curve & it’s not a concern. Here is a link on failure to thrive: http://www.emedicine.com/ped/topic738.htm

Lori-I would really consider doing the inpatient thing if Hailey’s problems persist. If the doc thinks it can help, I would try it. I know the hospital is the last place you want to be, but it could be a major turning point with Hailey’s eating. The earlier you can resolve this & help her, the better off you all are. Also, the hospital has different feeding therapy tools they can work with–special sippy cups, spoons, etc. They may find the “magic” trick that helps Hailey with her oral aversion. I always forget to ask–is she in oral motor therapy? I would ask your ST for some ideas as far as therapy tools. Emma has several chew & oral motor ‘toys’ that we special ordered. They have helped a lot.

(((HUGS)))

[hellbennt]

(side note- I think becky one posted that to get hannah to drink milk out of a cup, any kind, it helped if the cup was clear…just another variable to ‘throw out’ there…)

[Anonymous]

You asked:

Tricia – can I get the book from any book store? From a mental standpoint, what finally clicked, that allows yourself to forego the obsessive tracking of ounce and calorie, and just leave it up to Andrew? I am really lacking the courage to let go right now.

Sharon – you can get the book anywhere – bookstore, Amazon, etc. It’s a classic. What made me able to stop the obsessing and tracking? First of all, let me say it was a lot like quitting smoking – you have to quit many times before it “sticks.” What helped was several things: first, reading and re-reading Dr. Spock and Dr. Brazelton’s books about normal development and eating patterns, and how easy it is for a well-intentioned parent to actually make a feeding issue worse, especially as they become toddlers. The first year was so bad, the thought that my actions could reinforce a longterm feeding problem scared the you know what out of me. I also worked with a feeding team from Children’s Hospital, and they were very supportive – they assured me that the road to solids was going to be paved with gagging and barfing – that this was true to some extent of all babies, but much worse in refluxers – and I had to relax about it. And something my ped said – “no one is going to let Andrew starve to death.” He was being followed by numerous specialists, so I had to trust that whether I felt he was eating “enough” or not, as long as he was happy, energetic (boy, was he energetic!) and growing – even a little – he was fine. And if he wasn’t fine, we would know. Finally, the biggest thing – spending a lot of time with other families and little ones. After a year basically in seclusion, I was able to get out with Andrew and see how other babies ate. And I was STUNNED to learn that they didn’t always eat the same amount at each meal, or in each day, and even more SHOCKING – most moms had no clue what or how much they ate! I don’t mean to sound flip about this – Andrew had serious issues – we almost lost him a few times as a newborn, he was FTT, had a feeding tube, multiple anomalies, and developmental delays…but there comes a time when crisis-mode has to end. It used to make me INSANE, when Andrew was a little baby and not eating and people would say “no baby will intentionally starve to death.” Yeah, OK – no HEALTHY baby. He’s NOT healthy. But it is also true that no baby (or toddler) is one meal away from starvation. It is hard, but you have to let go a little – for Brian’s sake and for YOUR sake!

[Author]

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