Naps and update on sleep training

[hellbennt]

foleybelle wrote: What do you consider CIO? B/C when I lay Evie down to try and get her to sleep on her own, she has this long, whiny sob. Not like any other kind of cry. It almost sounds like she’s borderline faking! Is this crying it out, or is crying it out a full on hysterical fit with tears?

I think CIO of a continuum (sp?) – like an ‘umbrella term’- bcse it really differs from person to person about what crying is, how long the crying goes on, etc…so for me, your description lies along the continuum of crying it out- baby is unhappy & letting you know it. it’s up to you/caregiver how long you’ll let this cry go on and what you do if it escalates into hysterical crying…

not sure I’m making sense? for me, I’d let a whiny cry go on for 15 minutes & see what happens. that’s me. Ari will be asleep by 15 minutes, actually by 10minutes. so, if it’s been 10 or 15 minutes & he’s not asleep then he escalates and gets hysterical and then I’ll go in and try something else…again, that’s me. I truly think every single baby and caregiver is different…

[Anonymous]

Our version is pretty similar to Laura’s. With Kaelyn, her reflux was under control, and we felt pretty strongly that it was a behavioral thing. So, we let her fuss/cry herself to sleep. The first time took 20 (very hard) minutes. The next time was about 10 and then never more than a few minutes. So, after she got into a sleep routine, if we put her down and she was still fussing after 5 or 10 minutes we knew there was something else going on. Usually we just needed to go in and pick her up and sway with her for a minute and then put her back down.

[Anonymous]

Laura, I love to snuggle with Ariella but when it drags on for an hour, I’m in a lot of pain and don’t really enjoy it anymore 🙁

[hellbennt]

It’s hard Marianna! I wasn’t implying that everyone should rock their baby/todder/preschooler-

just that we do it now as part of our routine

jonah goes to bed wide awake

and Ari now goes into his crib awake as well…

I have certain prayers/songs I sing as I rock & then into bed/crib they go…

[Anonymous]

I tried CIO for two days and it was horrible. I stopped 🙁 I’ve got to find a better way of training her. Maybe I’ll get her the bear that was mentioned in one of the posts and play every time she’s sleepy. Hopefully, in a few weeks she’ll know that it means she needs to go to bed.

[Anonymous]

I got my daughter one of those musical things that hangs on the side of the crib. It also has a projector that puts a musical image on the ceiling. You hit the button and it plays for 20 minutes. By the time it was done, she’d fall asleep. She loved it as a baby. As she got older (1-2 yrs.) she could hit the button herself. Sometimes we’d hear it re-start one or two times before she’d fall asleep, which was fine with me. It helped her wind down. And the funny thing is that in the mornings, we’d hear it start up through the monitor and know that we only had 10-20 minutes before she’d be up and ready to go. A much more pleasant way to wake up than a screaming kid!!

We got it at Walmart/Target. And she’s now almost 3 and doesn’t need it in her big girl bed (for awhile I worried that she’d be toting it off to college 🙂

Andrea

[Anonymous]

With my first, we had very similar issues. We tried CIO for two days, and like you, said never again. He puked every time he cried for more than a couple of minutes. I got a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and used techniques in her book that worked great. Admittedly, they did take a lot longer than it takes most kids who cry it out, but I have a four year old who still naps and goes to bed like a champ and has been for a couple of years now. And this was a kid who I had to lay with to go to sleep.

With my second I used her techniques from the beginning and he goes to sleep on his own. He will sometimes fuss a bit in protest, but it is more fussing than crying and lasts only a couple of minutes. (He is 5 months old). Most of the time he doesn’t fuss at all.

Anyway, something to try when CIO isn’t working or isn’t for you.

[Anonymous]

Justice was a very hard case. I will tell you what I did and you can take it or leave it. Like some of the other moms have said I let my oldest do cio and will never do it again. Also, I think you should do what it right for you.

You may want your husband or someone else to help you with this since you have a bad back. I also have a bad back, so I know what you mean. Anyway, what I did. I had a sound machine in his room that plays white noise, I made sure he was fed and then I layed him in his bed. Everytime he got up I would lay him back down. I am not going to say he didn’t cry, but at least he knew I was there and he wasn’t scared. The cry would change if I left the room out of frustration. If I left he got frantic and would sometimes throw up on himself. Anyway, like I said I would lay him back down once he would get up, if he would lay still for me I would rub his lower back in large circles. I was told by a massage therapist that that induces sleep. Also I wouldn’t even try to put him down until I knew he was tired and ready to go to sleep. You can try a special blanket too that he goes to bed with. It took a few weeks, but now Justice goes to bed at 7 or 8 pm and doesn’t wake again until 4 or 5 am. Once he wakes at that time I will bring him to bed with me and let him sleep with me until he is ready to wake. I know I will need to break that soon, but at the time he needed to eat then. It takes longer than cio, but is much less painful. It seems like there was more to it, but at the moment I can’t remember it all. Oh, I kept a sleep journal and boy am I glad I did. Without it I would not have seen the improvements he was making. I am still amazed that it worked and I feel so good about it. I have no guilt at all. I am always willing to explain it better if you would like to try it. The no cry sleep solution is a good book as is The baby sleep book by Dr. Sears. Most of them you can get at the library instead of buying them. I hope you guys are getting some sleep soon.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that Justice got to a point where he didn’t want me to rub his back anymore. He just wanted me to stand there until he feel asleep. I would love to say he goes to sleep on his own, but sadly I started letting him nurse to sleep and now he needs help again. My fault I know, but what the sleep training did for us was make it to where I didn’t have to sleep with him or go get him all night long. If you don’t make the same mistake that I did, your baby should be able to go to sleep with you leaving her. For awhile I did let Justice lay in his crib and watch a little winnie the pooh thing that projected on the wall. He did still want me to stay with him, but at least I didn’t have to do anything and he should get to the point soon where I can leave and he will be fine by himself. Our little ones still do not have object permanience (sp) at this age and so they think we are not coming back. That is why they get so frantic. My personal opinion is if they cry so hard they throw up then the cio should be stopped. I mean I have cryed hard in my life and never once have I cryed so hard that I threw up. That is just my opinion though.

Justice’smom2007-07-06 21:35:34

[Anonymous]

Shelby, I’m definitely interested trying new things. ANYTHING that will work!! If you can, please provide with more info 🙂 Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could remember in detail what I did, but it basically went like this. I slept in the room where I wanted Justice to sleep. I wanted him in his room and in his crib. So, we put a matress on the floor in that room and that is where I slept. At his bedtime and once he was tired, I would sing him a song. Our song is Jesus loves you, then we pray. After that I put him in the crib. Here is where you can do what you think is best. You can either let them cry a little or just lay them back down once they sit or stand. With Justice I did both. Everytime Justice would sit or stand I would lay him back down. He is very determined so sometimes, I would just sit there and let him look at me and cry and then I would eventually go to him and start the laying him down thing. Once he would lay still for me I would rub his lower back in large circles. You will also want to keep a sleep journal so you can see the progress. I would have never known it was working if I hadn’t kept mine. With it I could see the amazing progress that he was making. I don’t like the cio method, but was okay with some crying. I think there was a big difference in Justice’s cry when I was in the room and when I would leave. When I was in the room with him he would cry like he was mad. If I left he got frantic. I have a friend that is big into no crying and she agreed with the whole plan. It takes much longer than crying it out does, but was worth it to me. Dr. Sears talks about how if your baby becomes very clingy when doing the cio method that you need to stop doing it. He does not agree with cio, but says if you decide to do it that is a sign that you should stop. I wouldn’t call what I did cio since he was never alone and I tryed to help him. I am still amazed to be honest that it worked.

A few other things are if you are breast feeding, you need to use your judgement on when or if to feed the baby. With Justice the first few nights I did fed him a few times because he had been eating all night long and I was very full and in a lot of pain. If any of this does not make sense please let me know. I feel like I am leaving some stuff out, but I think that was the basics. Oh, if you get aggrivated, LEAVE THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!! Even if for that night your baby has to cio. I would get very angry at Justice and just needed to leave. That is where my husband would step in or I would get on this site and vent. I would try not to stay away for too long, but wanted to be calm before going back. I hope something works for you soon. Please keep us updated. Oh, one more thing. My older son and husband slept in the same room together and they had a sound machine in the room with them also so that they were not being woken up all night long. It is tough, but so worth it!

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to let everyone know that I ordered “The no-cry sleep solution” by E. Pantley. I can’t wait for SOMETHING TO WORK!! I’ll keep you posted about the progress.

[Anonymous]

I hope it works for you. It didn’t help for us, but I think it has helped many. Also, you can e-mail Elizabeth and she is great at getting back to you and answering any questions you may have. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Anonymous]

How did it all go?

[Anonymous]

LOL..Shelby, it took me a while to understand what you meant by that question. Well, I wasn’t really “on top of it” with the book so I can’t say that it didn’t work for us since I didn’t follow it a 100%. Ariella has her days. Some days she’ll fall asleep with no problems but lately she’s been very difficult (can’t tell if it’s the reflux or teething). The most interesting thing is that she goes down for naps by herself WITH NO PROBLEMS!! She’s with my mother in law and she (mil) tells me that she puts Ariella in her crib and that’s all she needs to do. WELLLLL, that’s not the case with us. DH still needs to rock her sometimes but it’s not as bad as it used to be. I used to take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. Now, the longest it takes for her to fall asleep is 15 minutes. I hope it’ll only get better.

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to add that it helps as your baby gets older and can understand more. I have just told Caden, “not right now” during the night about nursing, and although he puts up some fuss, he sometimes just rolls back over and I can pat his back to help him go back to sleep. I’ve noticed that he is waking less frequently since I’ve started doing this. I’m thinking that when he’s about 18 months old, he will understand even more and can be told that we’re not nursing during the night anymore…wishful thinking maybe? I’m hoping it will work for us. Good luck with your book!

[Author]

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