Pregnant again!

[Anonymous]

I haven’t told anyone except my dh and best friend but I’m putting it out there to you all earlier then the 3 month mark (I’m 7 weeks along)-only this group knows the mixed emotions we go through and I value the kindness and support you’ve shared.

Basically, I’m freaking out!

Ian’s been doing so great-now on dairy and seemingly reflux free. He’s the sweetest, funny, loveable little boy and I cannot imagine living without him. DH and I knew it was the worst year of our lives but promised to not let ourselves hold back from a second child (we want siblings and just one more) because of one year. I also have a severe blood clotting issue so age is on my side ( have to take blood thinner shots 2x a day during pregnancy due to it) so there was really no time to spare since we started late to begin with. BUT I would be lying if I didn’t say I felt extremely depressed when I found out. I’m terrified of that dark place we were in and/or what if we got unlucky and the next child is worse. We were literally a day away from having to get a feeding tube. It put so much strain on our marriage and there is still residual damage done that we’re trying to repair.

I feel more optimistic over the last month but am still anxious (which probably makes things worse). Any tips on coping would be so appreciated. Also, anyone know if I should avoid certain foods in womb. I don’t have reflux nor did anyone in my family or dh’s family until their 40’s. Also, no one has allergies so it’s still weird where this came from. I hate milk and did not drink any in pregnancy-I took calcium supplements. However, I ate a ton of pizza.

Finally, any stories of you all that had second children where it was actually EASIER the second time around (or maybe they were reflux free??!) would so be welcome. I need some hope to get me through this.

I feel horrible even saying these thoughts outloud but I’m just so mixed over it all. Thanks everyone.

[Anonymous]

CONGRATS! I am so excited for you guys! I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and baby!

[Anonymous]

even though i dont know you, i am excited for you and your family, and wish you a blessed pregnancy and a healthy baby! i just want to say that i can sympathize with how you are feeling. i also am not sure if i am pregnant again! i keep getting tested but it keeps saying negative, but no period! anyhow, its a long story and i dont think i am…. but, all those feelings you just mentioned came storming through my head the past couple of days as well! but, its also soo very exciting to have another little new life coming, and this time around you will know more, you’ll know how to handle it faster and better if it is reflux, and you know that it does past before you know it…

well, i wish you the best again~

lauren

[Anonymous]

Congratulations!!

I think the mixed feelings you have are so normal and I certainly would have felt that way if I had known reflux could be genetic. However I was so ignorant about reflux that I just assumed Ellie’s case was a fluke and it never even ocurred to me that I could have another baby with reflux. I guess it was best that I didn’t know because I didn’t worry about it.

That being said, things were hard with Myles….very hard….but even if I had known it was going to be that hard I still would have had him. I had a friend who used to tell me that there’s no greater gift you can give your children than siblings, and I agree. My children adore eachother and I find comfort in knowing that they will have each other to go through life with….espcially since I’m an older mom and probably won’t be around for them as long as my parents have been around for me.

I hope your next baby is not a reflux baby, but if he or she is you will be able to get through it and it will pass and Ian will have a sibling to love and grow up with.

ndrose2006-12-20 13:6:46

[Anonymous]

oh ya and if you find out if any foods effect it feel free to share!!

i was thinking about that as well.. i was thinking, well maybe because i drank so much milk when i was pregnant, that is why he has a hard time with it! haha.. , but who know, maybe there is a food that we should stay away from w/children w/ a tendency for allergies… hmmm

[Anonymous]

Congratulations!!! I totally understand your feelings…I thought I was pregnant the other day (I am not) and had some of the same feelings you did. This year has been very hard on me and my husband. WE have damage too and have actually gone to counseling over it. That being said, this is my new attitude I adopted after my false alarm pregnancy. God picked each and every mother on this board because he knew that we could handle His precious child that needed the extra attention all our little refluxers need. If your next child does have reflux (and I will pray for you that he/she doesn’t) you will get through it, and we will all be here to help you!

Now your question about food. I do remember reading somewhere on this board that food sensitivities might be linked to foods eaten in utero. I don’t know if there is any scientific evidence to support this but I can tell you my story. I was diagnosed (well in the end Misdiagnosed) with gestational diabetes, which meant I had to limit my carbs. Well, I had to eat and what did I almost live on…Cheese and veggie burgers (both low in carbs) and what is the suspected problem Brianna might have had -MSPI.

Maybe others know more. I do also remember in my research about MSPI that there was something about taking probiotics during the last trimester can hellp lessen the effects of MSPI. I don’t think it could hurt, but I would ask you OB first.

Congrats again!!!

[Anonymous]

Alexis was a horrible silent refluxer and it was very hard on everyone and especially my marriage with her. After the 1st year things did get better. I was pregnant when she was 15 months and we were still dealing with food aversion issues, no longer reflux but the aftermath of it all, which was also very difficult. We always wanted 2 and that’s it, and we kept the hope of a healthy reflux free child but of course that didn’t happen! Taylor is a wonderful child, but her issues are much worse than Alexis, the only thing that is different is, we knew right away and got her placed on medications immediately which seemed to help. Also the second time around, you know it will eventually end, with Alexis there just seem to be no end in sight! This time, I know it will end, I just don’t know when but it will since Alexis is reflux free now, just a picky eater which is typical of a toddler. Second time around if you do have a refluxer, you have the experience which really helps even though Taylor’s case is so different but I do feel less stressed then I did with Alexis. I understand now with persistent, trial and error, and help from others things will get better! Congrats!!!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the well wishes everyone. I am trying so hard to focus on the good part of this. I love Ian so much and would have gone through that first year a 1000 times over just to have him in my life. I guess I have to fight hard and remember that.

Probiotics! I’ll definitely look into that. I know they’ve helped Ian. Funny thing is that I ate a pretty diverse diet-no ice cream really or other major dairy except for the cheese on pizza but I know so many women who eat way more dairy then I did and their kids are fine. I guess even though we don’t have allergies there is a sensitivity gene to it somewhere in us that makes us predispositioned.

I do get nervous because I see alot of you wonderful mothers here that have had one refluxer have tended to have another. So it’s a likelyhood. But then again maybe those that didn’t don’t visit the board anymore because they’ve had success with avoiding another refluxer!!! …..Don’t mind me…hormones.

[hellbennt]

can’t type much now-

NON REFLUX BABY on my lap

more later!!!

[Anonymous]

Rub it in Laura!!! LOL!

[hellbennt]

hey, Tracy said she needed some hope, LOL!!!

but seriously, I bet there are more out there (people who had nonrefluxers after having a refluxer)- they just didn’t stick around to post about it!!!

as for the diet- I just emailed a mom from here who had baby #2 (yes w/ reflux I think) & she modified her diet…

hopefully she’ll post here!

meanwhile I’ll try & search for you!

ETA: here’s a link that I was thinking of; https://www.infantreflux.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3098&a mp;KW=MomtoJack

hellbennt2006-12-20 20:40:32

[Anonymous]

CONGRATULATIONS!! I can understand how you are feeling. When Sarah was a newborn and we weren’t sure what was wrong with her (just that she screamed all the time) I kept thinking “Why do people do this more than once!!???!!!” I have thought several times about the possibility of having another reflux child, but the great thing is that we all have KNOWLEDGE on our side this time! If you were like me and totally ignorant to medicines, dosage, MSPI etc…just think…you won’t have to take months figuring it all out! Sorry, that’s my attempt at a bright side if #2 is reflux. BUT OF COURSE, I’m hopeful that you’ll be lucky.

I agree with Laura…I think the #2 NON reflux babies are non existant on this forum for the most part b/c they have abandoned us!

Have a wonderful, happy, healthy 9 months!!!

[hellbennt]

dh & I were mentally prepared for a GERDling. dh walked around saying, “if this kid has reflux, we’re going straight to the prevacid- no jerking around with zantac or anything else. we’re bringing out the big guns!”

me, I just prepared myself mentally & built up my carrier stash.

also: I treated/treat every squeal (of pain) with a squirt of mylanta! Right from the start. Gas pain? Mylanta!!!

something I wrote early on: As for Ari: I truly feel he has mild mild reflux but, I also don’t know what a ‘normal’ baby is like, unfortunately…He winds up getting mylanta maybe once a day, if that. I guess you could say I’m ‘mylanta happy’ but I truly don’t think a ml here and there (no more than 2, total in a day) is going to harm him…It’s just that I hear him glerping (internal wet hiccup sound) and gasping and doing all the silent reflux stuff that Jonah did. However, when Jonah would exhibit any one of the symptoms I see Ari have, it would have set Jonah off howling /shrieking inconsolably for hours. With Ari, he lets out a yelp and cries for just a minute…BIG difference!

[Anonymous]

Congratulations! I totally understand your concerns. We worried a lot about dealing with a second refluxer while we were pregnant with Alex. As it turned out, we have another refluxer, but she is so much easier to deal with than Kaelyn was. She doesn’t like to eat and we are still struggling with weight gain, reflux, and possible allergy issues, but she is the happiest, most laid back baby you could ever hope to have. So, there definitely is hope!

As others have mentioned, I suspect that there are lots of former members of this board that had second children that were reflux free. They just aren’t around anymore.

As far as diet goes, this topic has come up several times in the past and I talked to four different doctors while I was pregnant. No one could give me a straight answer. The anecdotal evidence from this board shows that diet seems to have no impact on reflux. When we had a post where people listed details about their pregnancies, there was absolutely no common thread (and I was desperately trying to find one, to do everything that I could to avoid a second refluxer). In our case, both dh and I had reflux as babies, so I think our kids were just doomed from the start!

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to say congratulations! It’s kind of backwards for me – I had two NON-refluxers first. My first two didn’t spit up even once. But then my third child has horrible reflux. So I’m kinda curious myself whether I’d have another refluxer or not. I’m sure that if your new baby does have reflux, you’ll know what to do to get it taken care of right away, and won’t have to struggle through all the questions as with your first. Of course, I sure hope he/she is reflux free. Good luck with your pregnancy!

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