Waking up at night (any thoughts)??

[Anonymous]

For those of you with older kids, have you ever experienced this before. Sarah is now 2.5 years old and has been sleeping well at night since she was a few months old. We have a consistent routine with her, and she’s always slept without problems. Until recently. Lately she’s been waking up 2-4 times a night asking my husband to “help her put her blanket back on”. She’s still in her crib by the way. So I bought her a big fleece blanket and put it in the crib and she learned how to put it on herself. Then she started waking up and calling that she wants her “night-night music on”- we’ve always put on the same CD for her to fall asleep to at night, but we never replayed it when she woke. So my husband would go in and turn it on several times a night. After this went on, I refused and told her no music, no fixing the blanket, no one’s coming in until the morning. Well she decided to show me… instead she started calling saying that she needs to go pee! So what could we do? She wears pull ups at night, but didn’t want to go in them (so we thought). She’d previously had many nights where she slept through and woke up dry. So my husband would go in and take her to the bathroom. But now it’s escalated and she’s learned that this will get someone in there and she’s waking up 5 or 6 times and saying that she needs to go pee. I know she’s faking it and in fact, last night, she said “I want my music” and when no one came then she said “I need to go pee”. I went in and put her back down kicking and screaming and told her “NO MORE PEE”. She slept until the morning.

So the question is, what should we do. I told her to go pee before she goes to bed, and went through the whole routine with her, I told her that she only gets her music once, and that she already went to pee and that no one was coming in until the morning. But I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do. How can I leave her when she’s saying she has to go pee? What do you think? We went shopping for a bed and it should be coming this week but I’d like to sort things out before we switch her. Any thoughts? I just feel lost about how to handle this one.

[hellbennt]

I’m curious to read what others say…Jonah is in a bed & I truly wish he was still in his crib…not that he’s waking up in the night, but he is getting up super early and now walks into our room and climbs into bed w/ us bcse neither one of us wants to go try to get him back to sleep- dh was doing this, but it got old quick…so now we’re up early, trying hard to get back to sleep (impossible), with a squirmy jonah in our bed, very early in the am before the alarm is set to go off…I have visions of a full bed- me nursing a newborn and jonah climbing in bed, what a party. not.

[Anonymous]

Laura, How did you make the switch? Did you have the bed in the room for a while before actually taking the crib out, or did you go cold turkey? I would keep the bed in the room for a while to get her used to things before putting her in it, but her room is much too small for that! As for her eventually coming to join me in bed…wouldn’t that be fun. I already have Hailey, my permanent roommate, still in our room (or should I say my room…dh is in the guest room- though I’m embarrased to admit it)…oh what fun if Sarah decides to join in.

[Anonymous]

Hi Lori

Firstly about the nightwakings. My daughter went through a stage like this and I found that the more attention we gave it, the more it happened. What I would do is go into her and lay her back down and tell her its time for sleeping. The next time she yelled out, I would go in and lay her down without saying anything and contimue on like that. Once she realised she wasnt getting any attention the wakings quickly stopped. I would always go to her because you never really know when something might be really wrong, but I never made eye contact or had a conversation. If she needs to use the toilet, I would take her, but dont talk to her at all, just straight to the toilet and back to bed.

About switching to a bed – we went from the crib to a toddler bed and then to a big bed with rails on the side. Looking back, I think she could have probably just gone to the big bed straight from the crib. It did take a while for her to sleep well again though. I think we even put her back into the crib for a while because we were sick of getting up to her. She was about 22 months when we first tried, so I think it was probably a little early anyway. Once she turned 2 she decided she wanted to sleep in the big bed and has been fine ever since. So I would give it a try and see if she is ready, if not, try again in a couple of months.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

sounds like you handled it great. she sounds like a smart girl that is learning how to manipulate her parents. the way you handled it will let her know that you won’t be manipulated—-good for you. just about every child will try these sort of things at some time. they need to test their boundaries.

kevieb2006-5-9 1:3:43

[Anonymous]

I’m laughing because my angelic little first born (the perfect baby who slept 12 hours per night from two months old) started doing the same thing. For her it didn’t start until she was about 3, though. She would call and say “I have to go potty” literally 10 or more times in a two hour period after first going to bed. When that didn’t work, it was, “I need water” or “tuck in my blankie, please.” Or, “I need a hug and a kiss, mommy.” It took me a long time to realize (or accept) that she was just being manipulative and trying to see what she could get away with. To make a very long story short, what I finally realized with the help of that wonderful show, SUPER NANNY is that I was allowing her to “engage” me by always answering her calls, even if I didn’t always let her have what she wanted. Our house is not that big, so she realized that I could hear her if I was down the hall in the master bedroom, and even if I didn’t go to her, I would answer her. So, we’d have two hours of “I love you, mommy.” “What are we going to do tomorrow, mommy?” Finally, I decided to let her know that bedtime was bedtime and I would not be coming in anymore once she was in bed. It took a while for her to get it, but after a few weeks of mommy being tough, she started going right to sleep again.

As for the night wakings, it’s possible she may be having nightmares, or waking up and being frightened. Does she seem frightened at all? Ellie started waking with nightmares around age 2 and still does fairly frequently. Just a thought.

I hope it gets better soon. You’ve got enough to deal with!!

[Anonymous]

It’s funny Christine because between the two kids and their nightwakings we basically have someone up throughout the night. They seem to alternate one hour Hailey, the next Sarah. Last night I went through the whole routine with her, and I told her that if she sleeps without waking us up then she’ll get a penny to put in her piggy bank. We told her that if she woke up, she had to fix her blanket herself, get her teddy bear and rub his ear (this is what she does to fall asleep). I told her that she already went pee and that she only got her music once, so no one was coming in until the morning. I felt awful, but I knew we had to do it. Well, sure enough she woke up at about 10:30 and started crying “mummy, daddy. I need you.” And then she just started sobbing. I felt awful. We have a video monitor in her room, and so we were watching her, and I saw her fix her blanket, pick up her bear and start rubbing its ear. And the whole time you could hear her saying “no more music. no pee pee. mummy’s not coming until the morning. I have to go sleep by myself so I get a penny for my piggy bank” And she kept saying it until she calmed down. I felt so awful, but she tried so hard and she did it. We didn’t hear from her until the morning, and she was so proud of herself. I think in her case it’s not fear, just waking up and wanting to fool around and get attention. She’s quite a strong-willed, spirited kid, so she can scream really hard if she wants to (and she breath-holds, so I’m always afraid she’s going to collapse). But she managed to remember the rules and to calm herself down. I was very proud of her efforts.

[Anonymous]

Lori

She sounds great…. i think her piggy bank is going to be full soon!

[Anonymous]

WOW!! That’s great. You caught on a lot earlier than I did with Liza. I couldn’t believe at first that my little angel could be manipulating me! So, I didn’t put my food down with her until it had been going on for about two months! Oh well….at least she’s past it now and when it starts with Ellie I’ll pick up on it a lot earlier.

I have video monitors in my kids’ rooms, too. It helps alot because you can check on them and see what they are up to without going in and getting them worked up. People think I’m a little paranoid, but I think they are the greatest invention. I don’t know how parents ever lived without them!!

[Anonymous]

The problem with the video monitor is that is goes bezerk everytime the phone rings!!! How do you manage to have more than one in the house without them interfering off each other. It’s also very hard to see her in the dark, but it does the trick. We got it to make sure she wasn’t having a seizure without us knowing. Didn’t think we’d use it often, but we use it all the time. Very handy.

[Anonymous]

My oldest went through a similar stage at that same age. He started out acting much like Sarah. However, it quickly escalated when we refused to go to his room umpteen times a night. In fact we had so much trouble with him, I ended up seeking the help of a child psychologist. We even ended up in Sensory Integration Therapy. Thankfully he outgrew his sleeping issues as his nervous system matured. I cant give you any good advise on how to handle this situation because I ended up sleeping on the floor of his room (I was 6 months pregnant too). I think Amber has great advise about limiting your conversation with her and being very “matter of fact”. I’m sure once she realizes that you arent going to give in to her every whim, she will soon tire of it and will begin to sleep well again. – Good luck and try to get as much sleep as you can!!

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh, Lisa. I hope that it doesn’t go that way with Sarah. I already have more than I can handle with Hailey. Hopefully it won’t escalate- I can only imagine the horror!

[hellbennt]

s&h’s mum wrote: Laura, How did you make the switch? Did you have the bed in the room for a while before actually taking the crib out, or did you go cold turkey? I would keep the bed in the room for a while to get her used to things before putting her in it, but her room is much too small for that! As for her eventually coming to join me in bed…wouldn’t that be fun. I already have Hailey, my permanent roommate, still in our room (or should I say my room…dh is in the guest room- though I’m embarrased to admit it)…oh what fun if Sarah decides to join in.

well, we made a big deal out of going to the furniture store and buying the bed (twin)- he sat on it, etc & we told him how it was his big boy bed, etc. Then I ordered Elmo sheets (we don’t watch much TV here, so Elmo is all he knows, LOL) and when the bed came, again we made a big deal…then I had him open the package with the Elmo sheets (I would’ve wrapped them myself if I had bought them locally- Target carries them but at the time they weren’t ‘in’ yet, so I got them from ebay)…

the crib was still in the room, but he never looked back. we gave him the choice of where to sleep and he went for the bed and that was that. the crib is now in the other room, for the new baby…

I didn’t want a bed rail (I’m weird & so I researched a bit & found this: http://www.snugtuckpillow.com/photos.htm ) and I’m happy with it…one side of the bed is against the wall and on this side I put my own slip-shod ‘bolster’ – I had a queen size egg crate cover for a pull out sofa that we got rid of & I rolled it up tight and wrapped it up in a sheet- I got the idea from the actual snugtuck pillow I had ordered…

so, I think his bed ‘feels’ a bit like a crib…

[Anonymous]

Laura…..

That snug tuck pillow is such a good idea! I bought two different bed rails when Liza went into a bed and they both made me a nervous wreck. They didn’t seem safe at all. I finally took the rails off and hoped for the best. She fell out of bed a few times (!) but that seemed safer than the rails to me.

Thanks for the link! You have so many good ideas!! Now I know of something for when Ellie moves to a bed.

Did you actually use the snug tuck pillow? Or, did you make your own?

[hellbennt]

I use it- mention me & this board & see if you get a discount…I told them I’d be spreading the word

I also made a bolster type cushion/pillow as described above, but that’s against a wall- wedged in…

[Author]

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